HOW I can



picture from: thesaleslion.com

 I went to a writing class a few weekends ago and the facilitator asked a deep question (well, it was deep to me anyway). She asked, "What would you have accomplished if writing was your full time job?"

Well at first I said (to myself), "Duh! I'd have several books completed and I'd be touring right now."

Then she elaborated. She asked what personal accomplishments would be under your belt? What things would you be doing as a part of your normal day? Would you be taking yoga each morning before you wrote? Would you spend every third Wednesday manning the phones at the support center? Would you be taking those cooking classes that you keep talking about?

It seems we always plan the activities for "when we get there" (wherever "there" is).  When we get the better job. When we've saved a few more dollars. When little Johnnie and Susie graduate high school. There are so many thing that we can do NOW that we put off until "the time is right". Why aren't you doing those things now? Is it money? Time? Energy? Really think about it and figure out why you aren't doing those things.

Pick something -- that one thing that you really want to do. It can be big or small, that doesn't matter. Now that you are thinking about that thing, can you do it? Really, take away the excuses and figure out HOW you can. Don't think about the "why you can't". Only think about the "HOW I can".

I'll let you in on a little secret. Going to that class was a HOW I can. Moneywise, timewise, energywise and just plain "worthywize" I couldn't see how in the world I could fit some writing classes into my life. Once I decided to do it, it was easy.

I found a writing group a little bit outside of where I live. It's not a formal group. Some meetings it's twenty people. Some meetings its four. Sometimes there's a formal presentation with a guest and finger sandwiches. Sometimes there a copied, copy of a copy that you read on your own and you ask for a breath mint from the person next to you. The ladies aren't "formal" writers (there has been a guy there twice). Each of them writes in their own time, at their own pace. They will critique your work if you'd like or they'd just smile at you as you come in and leave. You can talk during the meeting if you want or just keep to yourself. There are older members and there are really young members. There's one young lady that's 16 in the group. She's written and published 2 books. The oldest member is publishing her first book this summer. It's a "just as you are" group and it's wonderful.

So far I've been to a few meetings. Each time we pay $5 in dues. They told me that they've never had a big time speaker of their own but they have traveled together to see big time speakers. I've only been there for one formal speaker but I traveled with them to a workshop just outside of Atlanta.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I received an email last night from one of the members. She told us that she was moving from her home and going to stay with a friend in NYC. She had found an agent there and was going to work part time during the day and offer workshops in the evenings and Saturday's. She already has workshops booked for June, July and August.

I was jealous. I really was. Why wasn't it me sending that email? Well, except the part about NYC. I don't want to live there. It gets too cold in the winter. The "It shoulda been me" song (my fave version) went through my head and I got a little sad. But, I kept a stiff upper lip and sent an email back telling her how happy I was for her and I wished her the best. She emailed me back and told me that she expected me to send the same note as soon as I started using my "HOW I can"s.

Lissa, I'm going to start using my HOW I can right now. Save me a spot on the workshop roster for next summer!

Lazy Sunday

Sunday Mornings are always nice. Some Sunday mornings are spec-damn-tacular!

There's no real game plan for Sunday's like these. I did what I needed to do on Saturday or perhaps I have a Monday holiday and I can do it then. But on Super Sunday Mornings, I have nothing to do and no place to go.

I sip on a few great cups of coffee. I might sift through some emails or searching the web. Perhaps I'll finish up a book that I was reading or start a new one. I can clip coupons. I'll get a little bit of some lite housework done. Maybe I'll checkout The Food Newtork or The Food Channel and get hungry, so I'll maka a vegetarian fry up with eggs, potatoes, toast, and a little salmon.

There's nothing quite like it.

Except the Sunday's when I wake up and get to snuggle before doing everything else (bow-chic-a-wow-wow!!)

Keep It Or Toss It?

Lord give me strength.

I cleaned out the food in my kitchen Wednesday afternoon. I had berries in the freezer from January - I had every intention of making smoothies. I had cans and cans of beans in the pantry - I make a lot of taco soup and vegetable soup during the winter months. It's practically June now. I cleaned out the spice cabinet. Many of the spices were pretty old. It's best to make stuff with fresh spices.

This weekend I will tackle the "stuff" in my kitchen. That will be hard.

I take pride in a well stocked kitchen. I have a "measuring spoon collection" and widgets and gadgets that I've used once and never again. I even have some gadgets that *gasp* I've never used. I have spoons and utensils on the counter top for visual display. I use to feel comfortable with everything that way. Well, all of that changes this weekend.

I'm paring down. It's part of my living simply philosophy. I have a lot of goals in my life and I think that some of the "stuff" that I hold onto prevents me from doing the things I really want to do.

I won't get rid of everything in my kitchen. I will only keep the things the I LOVE. So, the potato ricer - like it, but don't love it; My bamboo spoon set - love it, use it everyday. The olive pitter - good gosh, I don't know. I like olives but I rarely eat them. I guess it has to go.

I know, it sounds really easy to many of you but the foodies out there understand. I will be moving to a new place in a few months. I don't want to take all of this stuff with me - only the things I love. I really have to make some tough decisions where my kitchen is concerned.

I gave myself the 3day weekend. It will take every but of that time.

But no time to cry...the bathroom cosmetic basket is next on the list!

I Charge A $75 Cancellation Fee

I have an hourly rate.

My time is valuable. Don't tell me that we are going to lunch "about 2 o'clock." Don't tell me that you "think" your appointment (the one you want me to attend with you) is on the 18th. Don't tell me that you'll call me and let me know where we are going later. And, don't call me at the last minute and cancel something that you clearly could have cancelled earlier.

I have been very lax about my day planner when it comes to friends and family. Now, when it comes to doctor's and business appointments and such, if I have to wait a moment longer than I think is appropriate, I'm gone. But, when family and friends give "fluffy" times and dates, I let them slide.

Well, I have an hourly rate (I think I mentioned that up top). And, just like English class in college, if you are 16 minutes late, I get to go home. Not sure what time you want to get together for drinks? Well, I'm taking my thirsty arse home and drink there. Don't want to commit to which play you want to see at the theatre? Then tomorrow I'll tell you about the play I went to see by myself.

As I age beautiful (such as fine wines and cheeses) I become more "me" friendly. I've given myself permission to do things for myself. One of those things is to demand respect for my hourly rate.

So, from now on you will respect my hourly rate. I treasure the time that I spend with my friends and family. But, my time has a price tag on it (as should yours). I will charge for missed appointments and overtime. I will not overbook my calendar and I will block out time for returning phone calls, sending letters and quiet time in my office.

And if you don't know how to behave, I will send out letters of release.

"Be Still" ~ Your Sunday Sermon

Life really is a crazy, wacky journey, isn't it? I've spent all weekend on the phone with several people from my past, updating me on their lives, making me cry and laugh and promises of plans to get together in the future. The most prolific statement this weekend? "Isn't it funny how we get what we ask for, even we don't ask for it out loud?"

VA Girl is so right. There have been so many times that I've wanted something but never dared ask. Sometimes it seems too big or I don't feel like I've earned the right to ask. It doesn't matter. For whatever reason, if He deems it ok then The Big G fixes it right up for me -- and I never have to ask. No, the obstacles don't matter. Those are OUR obstacles. We put those things in the way. He has no obstacles, except, well, us.

Is seems like everything is so rush, rush, rush - hurry up and get it done NOW, we don't take the time for things to simply fall into place. Yes, many times we have to do something, make something move in order for things to work but many other times, things are working themselves out. The Big G is taking care of it for us with the simplest of plans.

I guess "Be still" is something we should all take more time and do. I'm not good at "be still". It seems like a loss of control for me. I don't like to lose control. I like to know who, what, when, where, how and why.

But, I'm learning that sometimes being still and doing nothing is the very best thing we can do. Sometimes it solves a problem that we thought was simply too big.

And sometimes it solves a problem that we pretended we didn't have.

Know what you don't know.

I learned a new lesson this evening. Well, no. I didn't learn something new -- I gained understanding of something that I had been told many times before.

A good friend of mine use to always say to me, "Know what you don't know." That phrase seems very simple but most of us probably don't heed the warning. I certainly didn't.

I help people. It's a part of my DNA. Even when I don't particularly want to help, I do. I found out after weeks of trying to help someone, I had limited knowledge of what they needed. I thought that it would be easy to take the knowledge I did have and turn it into a helpful deed. Instead, I wasted precious time. I would have helped them more by simply saying, "I don't know." Then, they could have found out what they needed and finished what they started.

I think that we (I) have a fear of disappointing people by revealing that there are things that we don't know. The truth is, no one will be disappointed if we don't know everything. I initially felt like terrible for not saying that I didn't know for sure two weeks ago. I apologized profusely to my friend. She asked what I was apologizing for. I told her for wasting her time. She said instead of just her learning something new we both did. She said there were no apologies needed. She really is a good friend.

101 in 1001 - Update

Update time!

I'll try to keep you updated on my 101 things in 1001 days. If you aren't familiar, take a peek (well, read this post first, thing take a peek).

#51 - Letter to my body - I found the original letter to my body and took care to write a deep, heartfelt letter to my body now. Folks, in case you haven't figured it out, I really like my body. It's pretty good and has gotten me a date or two in my time. I have no real complaints.

The biggest thing that I have accomplished was #38 - Take pictures with The Princess. I know, I'm a horrible mommie. The Princess and I have NEVER taken professional pictures together. Don't get me wrong -- we've taken many impromptu pics together and my home is a museum/shrine to her. If I don't have 80 pictures of her, it's because I have 81. But, she and I had never taken a professional picture together. Well, all of that changed Saturday. My dad wanted pictures of his kids so my siblings and I got together and took pictures (oh, it was hilarious and sad all rolled up and tied together with a "laugh my arse off" bow). Before the siblings took pics, I took the opportunity to snap a shot with reason my heart beats. They came out 'purty' good. I think my pops will be proud.

I know, 6 things completed in 77 days isn't great but it isn't bad. I should have 2 more things done at this point. But, I've got 16 things in the fire! Well, more actually. As each day passes, I complete steps toward checking off an item. It's pretty exciting.

If you are thinking about doing this, you should take a week or so and really think about 101 things that you really want to accomplish in a little under 3 years. If you're like me, it will motivate you to do some really fun stuff that you always wanted to do but for whatever reason, never accomplish. It will also give you the opportunity to complete some life long dreams.

Do it! You'll really have fun writing the list and you'll really have fun completing each task.

Really.

#51 Living - Find original letter to my body and revise it.

ORIGINAL LETTER (2008)

A Letter To My Body

Dear Body,

I love you. You are such a special body. No one else has one quite like you. You have an extra roll or two and other people might find that bad. But I’m ok with it. I’m not always happy about it but I’m very ok with it.

Just so you know, I have no major problems with you at all. I have relatively no leg hair, my underarm hair is manageable and my facial hair is kept at a minimum. I kinda wish you would grow long hair (on the top of my head) but hey, I still have some hair so ok, whatever works for you.

I don’t know if you like being a size 12 or 14 verses an 8 or 10 but that’s where we seem to stay. We don’t seem to go anywhere else. Size 12/14 is pretty comfortable for me; is it ok with you? Well, it must be, because you don’t seem to budge. No matter what I eat or don’t eat, no matter if I exercise or not. It’s ok though.

By exercise, I mean yoga. I like yoga but you seem to like the meditative type. I like to walk but only short distances and not strenuously. That’s ok with me, if it’s ok with you.

You are still able to attract men. (Let’s work on attracting attractive men). That’s good. Keep up the good work. You still look relatively young. I’ll keep working on that with external beauty products along with the vegetarian lifestyle and vitamins.

Basically body, you are doing a damn good job. You are healthy, happy and wise. I’m proud of you. I couldn’t have asked for a better body and honestly, I wouldn’t ask for a better one.


NEW LETTER (2010)

Dear Body,

I still love you and you are still the best body a woman could have. I have no complaints at all and neither do the 1 or 2 people that have seen you without clothes on. “The girls” look good, my arse doesn’t scare off fish, I still can reel in a decent looking chap, I’m good. My eyesight is ok, my hearing is good...trust me – this is not a letter of complaint. No sir. If anything, this is a letter of gratitude.

Last year we had the whole, high blood pressure scare and we had to loose some of that fat (and thusly a few dress sizes – yea me!) and that caused “the girls” to droop a bit (boo hiss). But, we’re good, we’re good. Our blood pressure is under control and the doctor isn’t screaming we’re gonna die, so I’m ok.

We still have rolls. They are smaller, but they are still there. That’s totally my fault though. If I’d control portions better (and exercise properly, with more consistency) perhaps the rolls would run away. No worries. The rolls are happy, I’m happy.

And, we are healthy. Yes, yes, yes, we are fit as a fiddle. We are eating better, healthier foods than ever before. We’ll continue to work on eating less of those healthy foods (side note – you cannot eat as many veggies as you want. It’s still calories, healthy calories, but still calories).

The facial and leg hair is good, the underarm hair is ok and the hair on the head, well, I’ll keep cutting it cause damn it, it doesn’t want to grow properly. Don't cry hair, I still love you too. I don't like you sometimes, but I love you all the time!

Body, you’ve been very, very good to me over the last 37 ½ years. If you continue to be good to me, I’ll continue to slip you cheese laden foods, chocolate and sex every now and then. Only, every now and then though. You can’t overdo it on any of those things.

….oh please! Like someone can over do it on those things!

Love ya body!