Dear Thief...

Dear Jackarse In Apartment 1130,

Yes, I told on you. I told on you long and hard and I LOVED it! You wanna steal? Do it somewhere else buddy! If I gotta pay for power, so do effin you!

So last week I was off work cleaning up the old hacienda. I had picked up some new pillows and I was spring cleaning the hell outta the place. I went to open the curtains and let some of the beautiful rays of sun in when I noticed an orange cord dangling past my bedroom window.

That's not right! So, I decided to take out my trash (as a ruse for seeing what was going on). You see, our complex has valet trash (hell yeah!) and I don't have to walk my fat bee-hind to the trash dump. It's a nice perk I think others think it's pure-d-lazy. I say, so what?!

Anywho, that day I did and on the way back I realize the cord is coming from apartment 1130.

Well, I called the front office and they sent the maintenance team (two guys in a golf cart) to look at it. They surveyed the area, decided that yes, the folks were stealing power and they unplugged the cord. I guess they musta talked to them too cause the cord was gone when I got back from shopping.

So I go along my merry way spreading joy and happiness everywhere I went and then wham! Sonofabiscuteater! Guess what I saw when I pulled in my "un-assigned but chosen by me" parking space?! They had hooked a YELLOW cord to the same box and had it hanging from the front window.

So... back to my letter.

So people in 1130, do you think I'm stupid? It doesn't matter the color! An ORANGE, RED, YELLOW or BLUE cord dangling from the window plugged into the power grid must mean you are stealing power!

Just so you know -- I will call the front office every damned time I see the cord. No, I'm not mean but I'm struggling to make ends meet just the same as you. Every time the power people send me a bill I scream and cuss same as everyone else. But, I pay it and in return for paying it, the nice people at the power place let me have another month's worth of power.

Try it you thief!

I know it sounds harsh but I gotta pay so you gotta pay too! I have no tolerance for people that cheat the system and then I have to pay for your thievery. I've seen that big monstrosity of a truck you drive everyday. Your rims cost more than my car! Sell the rims and pay for power.

If you will steal power, do I need to watch out for my valet trash bin? Are you gonna steal that too? What about my front door mat? Must I tape it down?

I believe my fave Sting song is appropriate here -

Every breath you take, Every move you make, Every bond you break, I'll be watching you.

PISSED off neighbor in 1110.

(climbs off the horse).

** hell no, that's not the real apartment number. Do you think I'd really tell you where I live?!


Tiara Troubles: BFs and BFFs

photo credit: leehansen.com
I'm gonna start a little segment called "Tiara Troubles". It's going to be all about the trials and tribulations of teenage princesses -- the ups and downs and inbetweens of middle school and high school royalty. Parents of teen girls, lend me your ears.

Why in the "h" didn't you tell me about this craziness! I spent a great deal of time this weekend listening to the sobs and wiping away the tears of a girl (STILL) infatuated with a summer camp crush and dissed by a crappy BFF.

Her crush this past summer, well, he was an older boy (like mother/like daughter). He was a rising 9th grader and she was a rising 8th grader. Over the summer she mooned over the boy and I had to hear about it every single day. I met the boy the third week of camp. I had the opportunity to speak with him and his dad, just casual like. After the conversation, I didn't have the heart to tell her that he has no interest in her whatsoever. He treated her just like any 9th grader would treat an 8th grader that has a crush on him. He was polite. He looked after her --- like a little sister.

That mess is gonna hurt like crazy when she finds out. More tears. Crap. Add facial tissue to the grocery list.

And the crappy BFF? Well, she was a kid that lied a lot and treated all of her "friends" pretty rotten. First time I met her, I knew she was going to be trouble. But, kids have to figure these things out for themselves sometimes. I told The Princess this in August but when did it hit her? March. The kid got upset because The Princess gets to go on the 8th grade field trip and she doesn't. So, she called The Princess some pretty bad names. The Princess ignored her and then ignored all her weekend texts -- except the one on Sunday night that said, "You are a bad friend. I don't want to be friends any more."

So Sunday night there were tears at 11:30pm, tears and snot at 1:30am, and tears, snot and swollen eyes and nose at 3:30am. And, she woke me up each time. What a way to start daylight savings time -- with the loss of more than an hour of sleep!

But she got through it just fine. She deleted the girl's info from her cell phone and when the girl tried to be friends with her on the bus Monday morning, she said no thanks and began reading her book. So, I asked her about all the tears and she says she's over it now. She realizes that the crappy BFF was just that, a crappy BFF.

Thank God, cause a Super Mommie's gotta get her beauty sleep! I mean, she's so beautiful she doesn't need much, but she does need some.

At least until the next teen meltdown.

That will probably occur this Sunday at 11:47pm.


A Dental PSA

My mouth is jacked up! Did I mention that I have a boat load of dental appointments coming up? You don't even want to know how much work I need to have done over the next year (gotta string it out to pay for it all). I have so much work that needs to be done, the dentist had her kid's private school send me the bill for this quarter. I asked her if one of the chairs in the waiting room could be my own personal chair. She said for what I'm paying I can have 3 chairs.

But I digress. The reason for today's post was because of a conversation I overheard while waiting to pay for getting molar 7, bicuspid 2 drilled and roots pulled (ok, perhaps that was not the tooth number, but it might have been). The lady in front of me had to have some major dental work done (more major than me - imagine that) and she had just found out that she had crap insurance.

No, I don't mean she had insurance that only paid 70% or 50% or even some wacky deductible. I mean she had been paying high insurance premiums only to find out that it only deducted 20% off of cleanings and 15% off of everything else. 15% off of a root canal is still like $8972, right?

She broke down right at the cashiers desk. I wanted to cry right along with her. That's some serious crapola. She cried about having to pay almost $200 a month only to discover that she could have just saved the money and paid for the procedures herself. She's right.

They offered to put her on a payment plan and once half of each procedure was paid, she could begin work. She agreed to that and then left the office. I asked Kimmy (no, I have no idea if that's her name but she looks like a Kimmy) how often she heard stories like that. She calmly said, at least once a day.

I dropped the cute little dentist pen (that I was planning on putting in my purse) on the floor.

ME: "Are you kiddin' me?"

KIMMY: "Nope."

ME: "Are you exaggerating?"

KIMMY: "Not even in the slightest."

Apparently tons of people pay into what they think is good dental insurance only to find out that they are actually part of a dental savings plan. And, Kimmy pointed out to me, while a few of the dental savings plans are pretty decent, most are crap.

KIMMY: "People don't know until they come in for something major that they have been paying into something that's not worth it."

ME: "But what about when they come in for cleanings and stuff?"

KIMMY: "People don't realize they are paying full price for a cleaning. I try to help them out but..."

Kimmy does seem to be a nice lady. She does try to help.

So what am I babbling on about? Well I'll tell you. I'm going to present a dental PSA. I hate when people try to get one over on other people. Read my words people and go tell the masses!

First step, find out what your insurance premium is. You can look on your pay stub and it will tell you what you pay for dental insurance. Or, if you pay for a dental savings plan, you can tally up what you pay into the plan each month/quarter.

Second step, call your dentist and find out what the cost of a regular cleaning is and the cost of a filling and a root canal. Cleanings aren't as expensive as you think. You may be paying big bucks into the system and not getting your money's worth out of it.

Final step, find out what the cost is with your insurance plan. The lovely folks at your dentist's office will let you know if you have great insurance, good insurance or shit insurance (sorry about letting one slip).

Sorry for the rant but I felt so bad for the lady in the dental office. I don't want you to be the lady in the dentists office. Know what you are paying for people!

PS - Kimmy said I could have then pen.


All The Pretty Little Things

I haven't written a word today. I need to write a love scene and my inner sexy has taken a break. She'll be back soon and I'll write it then.

Instead, I'm sitting at my desk pulling out my hair, strand by strand, wondering how long it will take me to go bald. It's. just. that. boring. today.

So, I clicked some links on the webbie-poo and thought I'd let you share in the fruits of my boredom.

This is awesome. I want one! - pencil

I would gain 20lbs making crepes all day - crepe pan

Looking at dressers today. Love it. Gotta find a sponsor to buy it for me - dresser

In my head I'm half British. Sites like this one cement it for me. - Go British

I think The Princess NEEDS these! - straws

My work husband makes this cake the best (I tried and it didn't turn out right). This recipe is sooooo good. Make it! - pound cake

Soft, sexy lips. Super, soft, sexy lips- lip shimmer

The smartest thing every made! brownie

Just darling. I wouldn't mind drinking tea from this - tea cup

Do not eat this sweet treat. How cute! - treat