Stop Making God Mad!

Who in the hell pissed off God?! Seriously?! Who gave The Creator of all things, a headache? Apparently I need to find the sinner that pissed him off and bring that sinners head to him-- maybe on a silver tray, maybe in my bare hand with the nerves still dangling.

Perhaps then, once I bring Him this offering, He will allow the sun to come out and warm us poor bastards in the south! I woke up this morning and it was 23 degrees outside. Did you hear that? 23!!! It's been in the 20's for the past week! I've had to let my faucets drip each night (which is ANNOYING! - I have super sonic hearing!) and The Princess has dressed in record time so that she can get a ride to school. Standing at the bus stop is not even an option for her delicate soul.

It's not a secret that I do not like the cold, not one little bit. I live in Atlanta, so I tolerate it for the 4 - 7 days a year that we have cold weather, but this is ridiculous. I am seriously thinking of new WARM places to live. I'm sure I can find a job like mine in the tropics, right?

No, there's nothing more to the post. No cute quips, no prose or odes to winter, no witty repartee. I simply want to know who I must smite so that The Big G will let the sun come out and play.

And yes, unnamed sinner, I will smite you if it will bring the sun back.