Anywho, The Princess is in the full onset of adolescence and because I can't afford therapy (for myself, not the kid) I laugh to hide the pain. I try to find my laughs where I can get them. Sometimes a good Sandra Bullock movie works (If you haven't seen The Proposal, put your depends on cause you are gonna pee your pants!) and other times I put in The Original Kings of Comedy or an Eddie Izzard dvd (he is my favorite Brit comedian). But, other times, I just listen to my kid. Take last night for instance.
Paraphrased because who in the hell remembers what happened 12 hours ago? I went to sleep people!).
The Princess (timidly) : "Mommie. I need to tell you something."
Super Mommie (scared shitlessly): "Yes my darling. What is it?"
TP (Damn, I hate that 'The Princess' initials are TP - I'm gonna change it) : "At school today Bobby (not his real name) accidentally pulled my arm really hard and I said a cussing word."
SM (thanking God that it wasn't something more serious): "Oh, well honey, sometimes when we're in pain, bad words slip out of our mouth. You shouldn't do it often though because you can get in trouble. Did you get in trouble? Did a teacher hear you?"
My Princess: "No, only Bobby heard me."
SM: "Well, you don't want the teachers to think you always cuss like a sailor (Does she even know what the hell a sailor is? No, I don't think so. Mental note - Tell her what the 'eff' a sailor is)."
MP (Crap! Those initials suck too!): "Ok, I won't cuss".
SM: "Yeah, use other words to release your frustration. Like darn or shoot or ouch."
Super Princess: "Ok. Am I in trouble."
SM: "No sweetie. Of course not. Just try not to do it again. Ummm, by the way, what 'cussing word' did you say?"
SP (Those initials are waaaay better): "I said 'shit' ."
SM (That's my girl! Start off light. Use the big words for big situations): "Well, don't say it again."
You try not to laugh while having that conversation! I love the fact that she tells me