Whoooo are you? do do do do.

I am about 2 months away from my birthday -- my 38th birthday. I only had 2 months to decide what this will be the year of.

You're asking, "The year of what?"

Well, "the year of...." it's the annual affirmation that I make. A few years ago it was, "Just say no." Three years ago it was, "I'm not gonna do it, if it doesn't make me feel good." The affirmation has to be "me" related. It has to be for the good of "me". This year my affirmation is less of an affirmation and more of a quest.

Who will I be?

I got married at a very young age -- I became a wife. Then I had a child at a kinda young age -- I became a mommie. I have of course, been a child, a sister, a niece, an aunt, a friend and on occasion -- a lover. Many of those things, I will always be. Some of those things, I have ceased being. And, in about 5 or so years, I will change the nature of some of those relationships, i.e. The Princess will go away to college and I will be home alone. At that point, who will I be?

As an adult I've pretty much always been a wife and a mother. Soon I will get to discover who SM is as a person separate from wife and mother. Oh, I know, I know. So many people will say you aren't supposed to loose yourself just because you are a wife or mother. Well, the simply fact is, I did. I threw myself into wife-dom and mommie-dom.

Oh, please don't think that I would change a thing! No, I'm not married any more and yes, I LOVE being mommie to the Princess. Of all the things that I will EVER be, my favorite title will always be mommie. But, I am soooo excited to start this next chapter in my life. The time of finding out who I am, what I like and what I want to do. There will be some moments of extreme selfishness, yes, there will. But there will also be some tender moments of pure giving.

I've made some serious plans for this year. I am more than a little excited about them. I'll take you on as much of the journey as I can but some of those things, well, some of them are personal and aren't meant to be shared with others. Some things might be embarrassing but somethings might be too revealing or too raw.

In any case all of them will be one step closer to who I am.

Who are you?

"Happy Birthday!!"

(in the words of Frosty the Snowman).

2010 is here -- a breath of fresh air, the dawn of a new day, the light that breaks through the horizon at 6am (and I have to roll over to the side of the bed facing the wall). Let's welcome 2010 as we would a new lover, not to be tainted with the stench of the old one, but to be treated with glee and joy, not knowing what we will get or even if we'll like it, but knowing it's here and so far, it's better than any other lover we've even had.

I digress, it's only 2pm. How bad could the new year be only 14 hours in?

I felt the need for a full breakfast this morning. Skillet potatoes, blueberry muffins (made with whole wheat flour), fluffy cheese omelet and orange pineapple juice (nope, not a drop of vodka in it). I'm stuffed! "They" (No, I don't know who "they" are) say that what you do on the first day of the new year is what you will be doing for the rest of the year. Even though I take this with a grain of salt, it wouldn't be so bad to have a year of hardy breakfasts to start the day. If only I could get this new lover (2010) to make them for me.

The Princess and I are planning a very leisurely day. We'll get dressed, go to Ma Mere's and eat black eyed peas, collard greens, hot water cornbread and fresh corn. And oh the sweets. She's planning a german chocolate cake and pecan pie (there goes eating healthy, day one!). Then we'll roll ourselves back home and finish watching the Twilight Zone marathon.

I hope everyone has as wonderful a New Years Day as The Princess and I will. Remember, it's a new year -- don't take old grudges, anger or issues into the new year. Turn the page of your journal and start fresh!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8Y_Oh1Xb10