Dear Thief (part three)

Sigh. Life for me is never dull or boring. Most of the time it's down right funny (well you know, later, after the pain subsides). It's a thrill a minute for me.

If you don't remember the Dear Thief chronicles, take a second to (re)acquaint yourselves.

Dear Thief part 1

Dear Thief part 2


Today's hilarious tale begins with the fact that my bedroom gets a little warm in the evenings (and no, not from any hot action or anything). I have three, large windows in my room that let in beautiful sunlight and also warmth. By 4pm in the afternoon it's super warm and I need to circulate some air around.

So, I decided to have some ceiling fans put up. When I first moved into the apartment, management told me that the maintenance guy could handle stuff like that for me...for a small fee. Cool. I told management to have him call me.

Long story made short, the mainenance guy contacted me and said he'd put up the fans for $30 total. That's pretty sweet! I'd made some calls and gotten much higher fees. So, this morning dude called me to let me know he'd be putting up the fans for me today. I said great. He asked if he could swing past later to pick up payment. I said of course. I get home about 7pm. I asked him if I needed to meet him somewhere.

He said, "Nope. I'll just come down. I live upstairs in 1130."

Son-of-a-biscuit-eater! You mean "the man" has been stealing power?! You've been working for the complex the whole time? What the hell?!


Sigh (again).
I sure do need one of those "SYWM" t-shirts right about now (and an adult slushee)! That takes the cake!!

But, it fits right in with the rest of my life, I suppose.

ps - I'd love to sport a "SYWM" t-shirt but where in the hell would I? Maybe Aunt Becky can make buttons instead? Pencils? An ink pen? That's a free idea Auntie B. I won't even charge you!

Dear Thief (part two)

So perhaps you read Dear Thief before it became part one. Well, the jackarse not only defied belief by reattaching the cord out the window, but they nailed it along the wall so you couldn't see it. If I hadn't been spying on the people out front I never would have seen it!!

Let me tell you, this time I was pissed off! You are BLATANTLY trying to rip off this system. So... I called the power company directly.

PowerLady: "Restitution Department." (I am not lying. That's the name of the department).

Supermommie: "Um hi (whispering). I need to report someone that I think, no, I mean I'm pretty sure that they are stealing power."

PowerLady: "Are you standing outside, because if you aren't, you don't have to whisper."

SuperMommie: "Oh, right, sorry."

So I tell her my story and you know what they told me? They have already been out to the complex.

SM: "So I'm not the first person to report this?"

PL: "You aren't even the second."

SM: "Get out of town! So y'all are gonna come back out, right?"

PL: "Yes ma'am we are. We take theft of power very seriously."

SM: "I do too," I said smiling. Then I remembered something very important.

SM: "Hey, I can remain anonymous right?"

PL: "Yes ma'am, you can."

SM: "Am I still illegible for a reward?"

PL: "There isn't a reward."

SM: "Oh, ok."

So I've officially become a snitch and you know what? I don't give a rat's ass! I just plopped down over $100 last month AND my water bill just went up by $11. I'm a single super mommie. I don't have extra money hanging around.

As I have stated once before...if I gotta pay for power, you gotta pay for power.

I still don't understand why there isn't a reward!

Dear Thief...

Dear Jackarse In Apartment 1130,

Yes, I told on you. I told on you long and hard and I LOVED it! You wanna steal? Do it somewhere else buddy! If I gotta pay for power, so do effin you!
==================================================

So last week I was off work cleaning up the old hacienda. I had picked up some new pillows and I was spring cleaning the hell outta the place. I went to open the curtains and let some of the beautiful rays of sun in when I noticed an orange cord dangling past my bedroom window.

That's not right! So, I decided to take out my trash (as a ruse for seeing what was going on). You see, our complex has valet trash (hell yeah!) and I don't have to walk my fat bee-hind to the trash dump. It's a nice perk I think others think it's pure-d-lazy. I say, so what?!

Anywho, that day I did and on the way back I realize the cord is coming from apartment 1130.

Well, I called the front office and they sent the maintenance team (two guys in a golf cart) to look at it. They surveyed the area, decided that yes, the folks were stealing power and they unplugged the cord. I guess they musta talked to them too cause the cord was gone when I got back from shopping.

So I go along my merry way spreading joy and happiness everywhere I went and then wham! Sonofabiscuteater! Guess what I saw when I pulled in my "un-assigned but chosen by me" parking space?! They had hooked a YELLOW cord to the same box and had it hanging from the front window.

So... back to my letter.
==================================================


So people in 1130, do you think I'm stupid? It doesn't matter the color! An ORANGE, RED, YELLOW or BLUE cord dangling from the window plugged into the power grid must mean you are stealing power!

Just so you know -- I will call the front office every damned time I see the cord. No, I'm not mean but I'm struggling to make ends meet just the same as you. Every time the power people send me a bill I scream and cuss same as everyone else. But, I pay it and in return for paying it, the nice people at the power place let me have another month's worth of power.

Try it you thief!

I know it sounds harsh but I gotta pay so you gotta pay too! I have no tolerance for people that cheat the system and then I have to pay for your thievery. I've seen that big monstrosity of a truck you drive everyday. Your rims cost more than my car! Sell the rims and pay for power.

If you will steal power, do I need to watch out for my valet trash bin? Are you gonna steal that too? What about my front door mat? Must I tape it down?

I believe my fave Sting song is appropriate here -

Every breath you take, Every move you make, Every bond you break, I'll be watching you.
Signed,

PISSED off neighbor in 1110.

(climbs off the horse).

** hell no, that's not the real apartment number. Do you think I'd really tell you where I live?!

A Dental PSA

My mouth is jacked up! Did I mention that I have a boat load of dental appointments coming up? You don't even want to know how much work I need to have done over the next year (gotta string it out to pay for it all). I have so much work that needs to be done, the dentist had her kid's private school send me the bill for this quarter. I asked her if one of the chairs in the waiting room could be my own personal chair. She said for what I'm paying I can have 3 chairs.

But I digress. The reason for today's post was because of a conversation I overheard while waiting to pay for getting molar 7, bicuspid 2 drilled and roots pulled (ok, perhaps that was not the tooth number, but it might have been). The lady in front of me had to have some major dental work done (more major than me - imagine that) and she had just found out that she had crap insurance.

No, I don't mean she had insurance that only paid 70% or 50% or even some wacky deductible. I mean she had been paying high insurance premiums only to find out that it only deducted 20% off of cleanings and 15% off of everything else. 15% off of a root canal is still like $8972, right?

She broke down right at the cashiers desk. I wanted to cry right along with her. That's some serious crapola. She cried about having to pay almost $200 a month only to discover that she could have just saved the money and paid for the procedures herself. She's right.

They offered to put her on a payment plan and once half of each procedure was paid, she could begin work. She agreed to that and then left the office. I asked Kimmy (no, I have no idea if that's her name but she looks like a Kimmy) how often she heard stories like that. She calmly said, at least once a day.

I dropped the cute little dentist pen (that I was planning on putting in my purse) on the floor.

ME: "Are you kiddin' me?"

KIMMY: "Nope."

ME: "Are you exaggerating?"

KIMMY: "Not even in the slightest."

Apparently tons of people pay into what they think is good dental insurance only to find out that they are actually part of a dental savings plan. And, Kimmy pointed out to me, while a few of the dental savings plans are pretty decent, most are crap.

KIMMY: "People don't know until they come in for something major that they have been paying into something that's not worth it."

ME: "But what about when they come in for cleanings and stuff?"

KIMMY: "People don't realize they are paying full price for a cleaning. I try to help them out but..."

Kimmy does seem to be a nice lady. She does try to help.

So what am I babbling on about? Well I'll tell you. I'm going to present a dental PSA. I hate when people try to get one over on other people. Read my words people and go tell the masses!

DO I HAVE CRAP DENTAL INSURANCE?
First step, find out what your insurance premium is. You can look on your pay stub and it will tell you what you pay for dental insurance. Or, if you pay for a dental savings plan, you can tally up what you pay into the plan each month/quarter.

Second step, call your dentist and find out what the cost of a regular cleaning is and the cost of a filling and a root canal. Cleanings aren't as expensive as you think. You may be paying big bucks into the system and not getting your money's worth out of it.

Final step, find out what the cost is with your insurance plan. The lovely folks at your dentist's office will let you know if you have great insurance, good insurance or shit insurance (sorry about letting one slip).

Sorry for the rant but I felt so bad for the lady in the dental office. I don't want you to be the lady in the dentists office. Know what you are paying for people!

PS - Kimmy said I could have then pen.

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The School Supply Store...

I think I've mentioned a time or two that I currently live in a hell hole apartment. Well, it's come to my attendtion that the people that live here are guardians for hell.

Last week I received a note on my door stating there would be a school supply drive last Saturday. We were supposed to meet, grab a list and meet back up the following week. I'm all about the kiddies and school supplies so I got my little happy self to the place. I always spread the gospel about how important it is to support the children, teachers and schools. Remember, I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty.... (sorry, I digress - old Whitney Houston song - before Bobbbbayyyyy!).

So last Saturday I show up for the meeting along with 3 other do gooders. We get a handwritten list and our orders to bring back items during the week. Then the items would be dispersed this Saturday (2 days before school).

That sounds great. I exchange phone numbers with the ladies, take my list and prepare to fulfill my RAOK list. The Princess has extra things like blunt tip scissors and color pencils that I always have on hand and doesn't everyone have stuff on sale right now? What's it gonna hurt to spend an extra fiver on someone else?

So Sunday I purchase a few things and pull a few things from my own stash. I plan to go back to the stores during the week and complete my task. Then yesterday I get this call.

"Hey Super Mommie. This is Neighborhood Naomi. Have you taken your supplies over to Do Gooder Debbie?"

"No, not yet. I'm gonna do that Friday."

"Well, don't."

(pregnant pause)

(( I've always wanted to use "a pregnant pause"))

"I beg your pardon?"

"Don't take anything over. I just came from over there today and found out that we aren't collecting for the apartment complex, we're collecting for Do Gooder Debbie."

(another pregnant pause)

((two in one post!))

"Are you sure?"

Neighborhood Naomi proceeded to tell me that she took her supplies over and DGD told her that she didn't have the right type of dry erase markers. NN explained that all teachers use this kind. Then DGD pulled out her list and said that HER daughter's teacher didn't want that kind. NN asked her who, exactly, where we collecting for. She said mainly her daughter but anyone else that needed supplies could ask her for some.

NN grabbed her supplies and went home to make several irate phone calls. The first one being to the front leasing office.

I'm sure there will be another note on my door today when I get home.

Damn it, I'm ready to move! November can't get here fast enough.

RANT: The Price of School Supplies

SUBTITLE: What The Hell Are You Mad At?

I just finished reading a rant on the cost of back to school supplies. It was a pretty hot button topic. I thought I'd put my 3 cents out there.

Yes, it's pretty darn expensive buying school supplies for a middle schooler. They have 7 classes and they change the rotation 3 times a year. Things like 2 " binders for each class can get expensive not to mention I usually have to buy 10 project boards each year. Reams of copier paper aren't cheap (when it's 1 - 2 reams per teacher) and expo markers, Kleenex and hand sanitizer can break the bank.

BUT...I sacrifice a starbucks latte or two and brown bag some lunches so that The Princess can get her supplies. I spend the extra few bucks and send some extra supplies to the teachers when I can. Yes, I know that it's expensive but guess what? You get what you put into it.

Having children is not cheap and it has never been cheap. Why should school supplies be any different? I understand that there are parents that just cannot afford it. That's why I send an extra case of paper and pencils to school. I'm not fussing at those parents. They are doing the best they can with what they have. But, there are some parents out there that simply believe the school system should do it all. You want to pay less taxes and get free lunch and school supplies? From where?

My aunt was a school teacher for 30+ years and I remember her spending hundreds of dollars on supplies for her students. Hell, she bought a used copier for the foreign language lab. She would spend hours at the school supply store buying flashcards and construction paper because she wanted the best for her students. She spent her own money on markers and pens and pencils. But, you know what? Not all teachers have the extra money that she had.

You don't want to spend the money on school supplies for your kids? Fine. Don't. Petition a local store and see if they can donate to you kid's school or class. Have an extra bake sale or calendar sale to pay for copier paper. Heck, sell cans off the street so that the teachers have expo markers. Don't complain about the cost of supplies and then leave it alone! If you get mad GREAT! Then do something with that anger!!

Call your local representative and get more money in the school budget for supplies. Tell you what. Do one better. GET MORE MONEY FOR MORE TEACHERS! Your anger shouldn't be at the teachers for asking for supplies for your precious children. Your anger should be converted into energy...energy used to attend PTA meetings and parent/teacher/student conferences. I often find that the people that yell the loudest haven't seen the inside of the school building other than the day that you register your kid.

Yep, that's my 3cents. If you agree then by all means post. If you disagree, post - but post decently. If you don't, well sweetheart, this ain't an "equal opportunity" blog. If your comment is rude or nasty - it will not get moderated.

Still mad? Then swing past a local children's home and take a case of school supplies to them.

Dear So and So - The "What A Day - June 14" Edition

Dear Grandma That Is A Spy,
It's not that I don't think you should be allowed to socialize with your family but do you have to do it at 7pm, in front of the apartment building, in the back bed of a pickup truck, so freakin loudly? I can hear you lady! You aren't soft spoken. Neither are the 14 people standing there with you...drinking.


Dear Man At The Grocery Store,
I don't think you know how to count. The sign says 10 items or less. You clearly have a cart full. The Princess stopped counting at 22. The clerk explained that he could get in trouble for ringing your order so he'd do it this time but he couldn't next time. Even after that, you didn't get it. The four people behind you with 3 items each, really wanted you to go to another line. You are an arse-hole.


Dear Woman That Sprayed Air Freshener In The Ladies Bathroom,
I'd have rather you let the natural smell shine through. That floral scent is killer, especially when you spray out half the damned bottle. I couldn't breathe. I had a coughing fit while trying to pee. That's not good.


Dear Person That Wets The Whole Counter Top In The Kitchen At Work,
Don't I complain about you every time I do this? Stop getting water everywhere dumb-arse. There are paper towels in there -- use them.


Dear IT Person,
Don't question my need for a new keyboard. The "Delete", "Ctrl" and right "Shift" keys don't work. No, I don't think I can work around them any longer. I think you need to get me a new keyboard (so that I can finish typing my blog).