Fenks

You see that blog roll on the right side over there? Take a look at the one that says Sarcastically Yours. Yep, that one. That's the Tall Girl. I've known her for many years now. She gave me a gift today! She gave me my first housewarming gift! Two pictures; two big pictures; two big, nice pictures; two, big, nice pictures to go in my Salon de formale (3' X 3' dining room).


Her gift really got my creative juices flowing. I mean anytime you move into a new place, you get the opportunity to do something new, different, start fresh. I decided to change the color of my table to match the base color of the pictures and to add pears to the design of my Salon de formale. I'm going to stain the table.

Thanks Tall Girl.

Thanks for helping me spend more money that I don't have anyway!

It's Not You, It's Me.

I'll give you a sneak peek into my life.

You should be honored. I don't show people my soul very often.

It's explains my neglect of blogging (kinda).

I've been writing.

A book.

A cheesy, fluffy romance novel that you can read in 3 hours.

It's not life changing (well, it is for me).

It's not a wow, epiphany moment.

It's just girl meets boy, they decide they like each other, they 'do it' (cue fireworks), they meet families, they 'do it' some more (cue more fireworks), there's some fake complication, it gets worked out and then they get engaged.

55,000 words of fluffy goodness. Almost like a fluffernutter sandwich.

And when I'm done, well I'm not sure what I'll do, except probably write another one, and then another one, and then one day it's what I'll do all the time.

Sitting on my sunny patio, with my laptop and a mocho-choco-latte-ya-ya, typing out a romance to be sappier than all other romances -- that's what I want to do when I grow up.

It's what my passion is -- to write fluff. I want to give the world 3 - 6 hours of gooey, warm goodness and then let it go on it's way. You see, anyone that knows me knows that I'm all happy happy. I don't even like to watch sad movies (so no Tall Girl, I did not watch The N0teb00k. I gave it back).

So that's what I've been doing and why I've been so neglectful. Hopefully you can understand. And if you can't understand, then I understand.

Well, no, not really. If you don't understand, then I totally don't understand. But it's okay.

It's not right, but it's okay. I'm gonna do it anyway.

Take far too many pictures, laugh just a little bit too loudly, be sure to forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt.

That has been my header for the past 6 mos. Tomorrow is the big day. My "burf-um-day".

Each year I vow to live my life a certain way all year. This year I am vowing to live several ways.

Take far too many pictures
I have a friend that doesn't believe in pictures. He feels that you should take mental snapshots of people/places/things. I just bought a camera (yea me!) so this year I am taking far too many pictures. If you are near me, watch out! I'll be snapping pictures wherever I go! I'll post some of them. I'm not really big on posting pictures. I might want to run for public office one day (ha! I've already screwed that up!!).

Laugh just a little bit too loudly
Oh wow, this will be hard (not). This year I vow to have fun. I'll laugh and sing and have a good time. Sounds like I need to buy some wine!!

Be sure to forgive freely
Ummm, ok. I'll work on this one. Most people don't mean to be hurtful or harmful. Decide what if they mean to be mean and then forgive them. You'll feel better in the end.

Live emotionally well
I'll work on this one too. What does this mean? Well, instead of saying be honest or say what's on your mind, this mean just be nice. That doesn't mean lie, it just means be nice. Yes, I can still talk about your mini skirt and hairy legs, I just can't do it within earshot of you. AND, I can't do it all the time (sorry Tall Girl - your texts should go down drastically!!).

Love like you've never been hurt
Geeze Louise that one is hard. I have been hurt and it sucks. But, I'll love anyway. BUT, I will love me first. (sorry again Tall Girl - it doesn't mean what you think).

Work like you don't need the money
I've been writing. It's my first love. Right now it doesn't pay the bills but one day, it will. This is my promise to myself. Universe, make it happen!

Dance like no one is watching
Not a problem. I'm terrible dancer and an even worse singer but I do them both. It's one of the things "MY Jackie" told me to do before she passed away. I take every opportunity to do them both.

I've posted the paragraph below. It's worth posting again. It's this year's
credo.
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to
ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break
others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love
with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures,
laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes
with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. You just have to live life
to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak
out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall
asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your
face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all,
live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of
happiness you can never get back.

It's not me, it's you.

I dated a chef once. Did I ever tell you that? Being that I love food, I thought that it would work out beautifully! Well, it didn't. Two cooks in the kitchen make for a lot of arguments. Fighting over the proper use of spices is not "hot" as you would think it would be. It just makes you wonder how heavy a cast iron skillet really is and can you make "it" look like an accident.

I dated a pretty boy twice. They hogged the mirror, used more "products" than I have EVER used and gave me reason to wonder if metrosexual was hiding something deeper, darker in their past.

I've dated (1)/married(1) guys that made fun of my being a veggie girl. I know. I should have held a pillow over their head in while they were sleeping. I thought about it...a lot. I mean threatening to eat a bleeding hamburger in front of me just incites me to help make YOU that bleeding hamburger. I didn't threaten to throw salads and tofu patties at them but perhaps I should have.

I've dated/married snorers and it didn't bother me (sorry Tall Girl). However, people that talk AND walk in their sleep freak me out. And, I won't tell you what else this particular guy did in his sleep cause I was starting to enjoy it....UNTIL I REALIZED HE WAS FREAKIN SLEEP!!!! Wake up for that dude!

I say all of this for my good friend VA Girl (Yea! Now you have a name!). You asked me if you were being too picky and would it be wrong to break if off with him. Yes, you can be picky but I don't think you are being picky. Yes, you can break it off with him. I just think that latex man is not right for you. (No, I will not explain that one even though it is so funny it will make you pee your pants). He seems nice when I've talked to him but I think you are not the type of woman he needs (I think there are some bunny ranches in Nevada he can go to or he can look on Cr@igslist).

It's ok to not like stuff about him and use that as your excuse to say, "It's not me, it's you." You gave him 6 months and you don't feel for him the way he and his bag of latex tricks feel about you. If you continue this relationship, you'll just gather more reasons to stab him in his sleep later.

And I don't have bail money. I have to save for summer camp for The Princess. BUT, I will put $10 on your commissary.

Change is good.

I'd like to update some of my 101 in 1001. Why you ask? Well, things have changed in the last 150 days. I've changed. My circumstances have changed. So my 101 has changed.

I'd like to be able to say that I'll feel the same way 1001 days later but come on, really?! I change my mind on what color underwear I'm going to put on between the bathroom and the dresser!

So, I've listed the original items and then the changes (in red).

====================================================

4., 5. & 6. - Creating scrapbooks - Yeah....no. I'm just not into scrapbooking. I like crafts but not that much.

55. Get married - No. I don't think that's for me. I've already done it a few times. And, as I was telling The Tall Girl, I don't think I am a "forever" kinda girl. I'm more of a "just for now - let's see how this goes" kinda girl. I'd like a companion but I don't know that I can promise more than 10 years or so. This could change, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

57. Get things from mom's garage - she's my mom - I ain't movin' my stuff!! (And the Arteest better keep his mouth shut! If you tell mommie, I'm gonna give you a wedgie!). I'm going to buy a new filing cabinet instead.

75. Buy a house - I would like to but it may not happen in the next 2 years. It's a great plan but I have a more important plan right now. Instead, I'm changing this to move someplace fabulous. I don't have to own it, I just have to love it.

77. Open an IRA - Yeah, I know I should. But, Sue-sue said to get 8 month savings into an account. Let's work on that first. Maybe I'll just buy a savings bond (in this time of economic craziness).

82. Volunteer 101 hours. I've downsized. There are 16 hours in a day. I spend 2 1/2 commuting, 8 at work, 2.5 each night with the Princess and 3 trying to see what's at the bottom of my wine glass. No, really, I spend as much time as I can with the Princess and the rest getting my mind right. 24 hours is good. Let's make that the starting point. We can always do more.

So there you have it. Change is good.

Tuesday Helpful Hints

I saw and heard about a few things today that really should not have happened. People, I don't want you to let these things happen again, ok?

--- I don't want you to get arrested in the middle of rush hour traffic with a red bandanna, blue sweatpants and 1 tennis shoe. I don't understand how you were driving with only 1 tennis shoe on. I wonder if that is part of the reason for the arrest.

--- I don't want you to change clothes while on the M@rt@ train. I know that the passengers pretend that it's ok, but they really are confused by this. But, if you are going to do this, I hope your bra and panties match. (thanks Tall girl for this one)

--- I'm not sure that you should be putting mascara on while driving. Yes, it's a stop light but ma'am, it's green and you are driving.

--- I'm not sending my child to you for tutoring if you misspell tutoring on your cardboard sign.

--- Don't name your kid Sad-e. I'm not opposed to the name, I am opposed to the spelling. (thanks Sister for this one)

--- Before attempting to lay blame at another person's feet, make sure that the person doesn't practice "ass coverage". It could result in YOU getting in waaaay more trouble than you originally were in (thanks to Emi No - but she doesn't know it yet)

--- Pick a color for your car. And, for the record, "primer" is not a color.

--- Going to the library isn't that hard. It's also not as painful as you make it out to be. But, ok, if you'd rather spend $25 on a book rather than read it for free because you don't have the "time" to order it on-line at 10am and then pick it up at the librarians desk at 5pm, you deserve to spend $25.

February 101 in 1001 Review

(Don't know what I'm talking about? Click here.)

-- I did it! I completed the 15 random acts of kindness (ROAK) that I said I would for February. That brings my grand total to 22! Only 79 more to go (deep sigh).

-- I bought a great pair of jeans (0pr@h recommended).

-- I bought the juicer (and I have been juicing like crazy ever since! It's the best $100 I have EVER spent!!).

-- I paid off both credit cards in my money & finance section.

February wasn't hard or anything but the ROAK was challenging. I had to decide what was simply being nice and what was a real random act. I had to do the last one twice. The tall girl asked for a stamp and I gave it to her and wouldn't let her pay for it. Since I wasn't sure if that qualified I decided to give the man ahead of me in line $1.87 which is what he needed for his grocery bill. That qualified, I'm sure.


March has some goals to complete as well.

1. I will leave 15 encouraging words in random places.

2. I will create a customized care package for a friend or loved one.

3. I will volunteer 5 hours.

4. Gather all birthdays in 1 place.

5. Make my alphabet movie list.


Stay tuned....

Friday Randomness

I have been juicing everything but the kitchen sink! I must be super healthy by now, right? I'm only juicing once a day because a friend of mine said to start slow. You feel full but then you try to do too much and pass out or something. Well, I sincerely doubt that I'll be doing too much! Apparently he doesn't know the proud "super slacker" badge that I wear.

Mentioning "slacker", I've been slacking on my posts. I'm supposed to post 75% of the 1001 days. I currently have well...a lot of days that I need to post. So prepare for some randomness mixed in with the fabulousness.

Today's randomness (besides juicing and slacking?) SNOW!!!

WTH! Atlanta is gonna get snow today. 1-2 inches my way (3 inches the tall girl's way). I'm not one for snow. I don't like cold and bad weather. It has totally messed up my plans to go shopping! Well, kinda. I've made some online purchases. I've already purchased several books on @m@zon and a pair of shoes! But, I did want to spend some time with my Auntie and now I can't do that for fear of getting snowed in. No, we aren't going to get what DC, NYC and the like have gotten, but still...

Oh, and the RAOK has been doing well. I'm halfway done for February!! Remember? I had to do 15 for February -- sort of "jump start" my niceness? It hasn't been hard to be nice but it's hard to be randomly nice. Note to self - be nice to strangers.

Happy Friday people. Be nice to strangers and I hope the weather works out in your favor.

Live long and juice!

The hillllls are alive, with the sound of muuuuusicccc!.

I am 2 minutes away from watching "The Sound of Music" so I don't have long. The Tall girl will be texting any minute now to make sure I'm watching (Mind Enhancement - #73 Watch 15 classic movies that I haven't seen).

I ran across a cute little piece of information that I've seen a million times. Tonight I actually read it. It's things you should know by 30. It's very good information and even if you are 50, you should still practice. I too have a long way to go.

It's actually 30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30. The first half is the "should have". Tonight I am focusing on "should know". Let's have a refresher shall we?

By 30, you should know:

• How to fall in love without losing yourself.
• How you feel about having kids.
• How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
• When to try harder and when to walk away.
• How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
• The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.
• How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
• How to take control of your own birthday.
• That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
• That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
• What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
• That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
• Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
• Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
• Why they say life begins at 30.

http://www.glamour.com/magazine/2007/02/things-women-should-have-and-know-by-30

Holiday Random Schnitzel

It's all done! I am ready to sit back and let the holiday season over take me with glee. All the purchases have been made. I've finished my 527th batch of cookies. I've almost completed my last day of work for the season. What's left to do? Nuthin! Nuthin at all!

I was very good this year. I started putting a few dollars away in October (after the annual Princess Birthday Bash) so once the shopping season hit, I was able to make my purchases with ease. I decided to only buy a few co-worker gifts and make cookies for everyone else. And, I saved my light work for today and I've spent the morning eating things with tons of sugar, drinking coffee and pretending to do that light work, just like everyone else. Oh happy day.

(Sorry, someone just brought in hot Krispy Kreme donuts. I'm just licking the glaze off my keyboard).

Actually, I lied int the first paragraph. I said there was nuthin left to do. Actually there is.

-- Wrap the gazillion things that I bought The Princess (and by wrap I mean put it in gift bags and put it under the tree).
-- Watch The Sound of Music, cause I told the Tall Girl I would (it better be good!).
-- Listen to Johnny Mathis 1 last time before putting him away for the season.
-- Drink 1 more pint of eggnog before retiring it for the season.
-- Stimulate the economy on the week of December 28th by purchasing next year's Christmas stuff at 50-75% off.
-- Prepare for the Twilight Zone New Years eve marathon.
-- Buy 1 more piece of exercise equipment because I have to remove the 10 damned pounds I added this past month!!

Fa la la la la, la la, la la. Now, excuse me. I have to take a two hour lunch (not really that different from any other day, huh?!).