Stop Making God Mad!

Who in the hell pissed off God?! Seriously?! Who gave The Creator of all things, a headache? Apparently I need to find the sinner that pissed him off and bring that sinners head to him-- maybe on a silver tray, maybe in my bare hand with the nerves still dangling.

Perhaps then, once I bring Him this offering, He will allow the sun to come out and warm us poor bastards in the south! I woke up this morning and it was 23 degrees outside. Did you hear that? 23!!! It's been in the 20's for the past week! I've had to let my faucets drip each night (which is ANNOYING! - I have super sonic hearing!) and The Princess has dressed in record time so that she can get a ride to school. Standing at the bus stop is not even an option for her delicate soul.

It's not a secret that I do not like the cold, not one little bit. I live in Atlanta, so I tolerate it for the 4 - 7 days a year that we have cold weather, but this is ridiculous. I am seriously thinking of new WARM places to live. I'm sure I can find a job like mine in the tropics, right?

No, there's nothing more to the post. No cute quips, no prose or odes to winter, no witty repartee. I simply want to know who I must smite so that The Big G will let the sun come out and play.

And yes, unnamed sinner, I will smite you if it will bring the sun back.

Dear Summer,

Dear Summer,

SM is not happy right now. No, no. It's not you, it's me. We have had such a great time together. Remember those times I painted my toes and wore sandals? And remember that time you were all sunshiny and we shared frozen drinks together? Oh! And those times that we'd eat outside together? Boy, those times were great!

I looked at the calendar last night and you know what I saw? September 23. Do you know what that is? The first day of Autumn.

Yeah, I know. That means that really soon we're gonna have to break up for a little while. I don't know if you and Autumn are friends but she and I are only lukewarm. I don't really like her all that much. She's kind of cool towards me. She acts like you, but then she gets cool and I have to get a sweater. Then she gets warm again. She's too wishy-washy for me.

I also don't like her that much because after she comes along then Winter comes. Winter is on my sh*#t list. I can't stand her arse! She's all cold and frosty, like she's better that folks! I gotta put on extra clothes just to hang around her! And, she doesn't like my sandals or my tank tops. And, get this, she looks all sunshiny from the inside then you go outside and she's cold! I know. What kinda mess is that?

Oh, now Spring is okay. You know, her right? She gets warm but she brings these things that make me sneeze and stuff. I don't really like that but she tries to be friends. She really does. So, I tolerate her.

And then you come back to me and everything is right with the world. Yeah, I kinda have a crush on you. No, I don't want you to feel odd about it. I want you to embrace it. I do. I will yell to the world that I like you. I hope you like me back.

Well, since I know you are going away, I made you something. Yep! It's a photo album of our times together. It will keep us both warm while Autumn and Winter are here. Have fun while you're in Australia. Send me a postcard. I'll be thinking of you!

Yours,

I Don't Trust People That Don't Like Summer

Dear Person I THOUGHT I Knew For Twenty Years,

You don't like the summer? You aren't a fan of hot weather? You have to run the ac all day, every day because your body temperature runs warm? You don't like shorts or flip flops? And, you think adult slushies aren't season specific?

Are you freakin' kidding me?! Summer is the best! It's my favorite time of the year! I wait all winter long, very impatiently, for the warm weather to arrive. When it does, I give the pollen time to come in and go away and then it is game on baby!!

When late spring/summer arrives, I can pull out all of my cute sandals and flip flops and get my toes all painted. I use melons and peaches and pinks. I once dated a guy that told me he liked a particular color that did not agree with my summer toe nail polish pallet. I quickly dumped him. TRUE STORY (but I didn't dump him for that reason but it should have been a warning).

I can pull on sundresses and wear shorts and capris. I don't wear sundresses for just anybody. Sundresses are reserved for summer activities. I'll wear capris every day of the week but sundresses are special.

It's baseball season so I can go to as many games as I want. I love my Br@vos! I went opening day and had a blast. I'll go back several times this summer. It's not just the game either. It's a total experience. There are games for the kiddies (and the young at heart). There are the crazies in the crowd. There's the kisscam. There's the fact that you can bring your own food now and just buy ice cream and beer there. Score!!

Summer means I can sit by the pool and read a sassy book or dangle my feet in the water (cause I'm only getting wet up to my neck. My hair is not going to get wet - oh hells no!). A book is better when read on a deck chair with an umbrella over you.

The Princess and I make ice cream. Good Lord we make tons of ice cream. I had to purchase a second barrel for my ice cream maker to keep up with production! My favorite home made flavor? Vanilla, of course.

And the summer drinks. Adult slushies - pina coladas, daiquiris, margaritas, etc. They really are seasonal drinks. Well, ok, they taste better seasonally. I'll drink a margarita on the rocks during the rest of the year but summer....

Dear PITIKFTY, this friendship doesn't appear to be working for a miriad of reasons. But, this, my dear ex-friend took the cake (and home made vanilla ice cream). I think you and I should only be friends from late October through late March.

It's not me, it's you.

My toes are suffocating!!

Is it sandal weather yet?

I'm ready. I don't like the cold -- I believe everyone knows that. The past few months have been waaaay more winter than I need. So, what did I do today during my down time?

Well, I'll tell you...

Ok, one of these shoes is not one that I've been dreaming of. No, I'm not going to tell you which one. You figure it out (wink, wink).

Have Stone? Make Some Soup.

This weekend the Princess and I made my super simple veggie soup but I didn't take a picture. That's really ok because I didn't use a recipe either.

Well, I didn't use a real recipe. Why not? I didn't have to. My soup recipes are the world's easiest. In the winter it's cold and I want something warm, fast. I have my go to faves - taco soup, twice baked potato soup, chili (ok, ok, it's really a stew) and vegetable soup.

Ever heard the story of "Stone Soup?" Well, my version of vegetable soup is amazingly like that (except without the stone - who the hell wants a dirty rock in their soup?).

Veggie Soup
A can of tomatoes (no salt added)
A can or bag of mixed veggies (no salt added)
12 - 16 oz of veggie broth (homemade is best - I always have broth in the freezer)
2 tablespoons (I guess - who measures?) vegan Worcestershire sauce
cumin, sage, parsley, pepper, slight hint of salt, hint of paprika

Warm it up (cause really, everything is already cooked) and go. But, the next day it's better.

Ma mere always made homemade soups in the winter. Once a cold spell hit, she would pull out the a big pot and start cutting vegetables and boiling chicken, skimming fat off the top, blah blah blah. I do it the easy way. No cutting, no chicken, no skimming fat.

Now, when I make my veggie broth, I do pull out the stock pot and do the chopping (carrots, parsnips, celery, potatoes, bell peppers, onions, garlic, etc.) and add spices galore. A vat veggie broth made at Thanksgiving will last me well into February.

Do I have some left? Yep. I have one lone container of veggie broth in the freezer. It's terrified that it won't get used. Never fear my container of veggie broth. Old man winter promises one or two more weekends of yukky weather.

And I promise one more batch of super simple veggie soup.

Silent Saturday

Friday February 12, 2010

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Friday Randomness

I have been juicing everything but the kitchen sink! I must be super healthy by now, right? I'm only juicing once a day because a friend of mine said to start slow. You feel full but then you try to do too much and pass out or something. Well, I sincerely doubt that I'll be doing too much! Apparently he doesn't know the proud "super slacker" badge that I wear.

Mentioning "slacker", I've been slacking on my posts. I'm supposed to post 75% of the 1001 days. I currently have well...a lot of days that I need to post. So prepare for some randomness mixed in with the fabulousness.

Today's randomness (besides juicing and slacking?) SNOW!!!

WTH! Atlanta is gonna get snow today. 1-2 inches my way (3 inches the tall girl's way). I'm not one for snow. I don't like cold and bad weather. It has totally messed up my plans to go shopping! Well, kinda. I've made some online purchases. I've already purchased several books on @m@zon and a pair of shoes! But, I did want to spend some time with my Auntie and now I can't do that for fear of getting snowed in. No, we aren't going to get what DC, NYC and the like have gotten, but still...

Oh, and the RAOK has been doing well. I'm halfway done for February!! Remember? I had to do 15 for February -- sort of "jump start" my niceness? It hasn't been hard to be nice but it's hard to be randomly nice. Note to self - be nice to strangers.

Happy Friday people. Be nice to strangers and I hope the weather works out in your favor.

Live long and juice!

Baby, it's cooold outside!

We had a snow day last Friday!

Well, kinda. Don't get too excited. What we really had was powdered sugar covered roads with ice underneath. So, The Princess and I stayed home and enjoyed the view... from inside. No, we didn't build a (very tiny) snowman and no, we didn't roll snowballs and hit anyone.



We aren't cold weather people. In fact, I was ready to pack my bags and move to some place nice and warm. I hear New Mexico and Arizona had temps in the 70's. Perhaps SM can find an anchorman to work for in one of those states!



The weather people say we have a few more days of cold and then it should start warming back up. Good. I don't think I can take 20 degrees anymore. Bring on 50 degrees please! SM can't feel her fingers and toes!