HOW I can



picture from: thesaleslion.com

 I went to a writing class a few weekends ago and the facilitator asked a deep question (well, it was deep to me anyway). She asked, "What would you have accomplished if writing was your full time job?"

Well at first I said (to myself), "Duh! I'd have several books completed and I'd be touring right now."

Then she elaborated. She asked what personal accomplishments would be under your belt? What things would you be doing as a part of your normal day? Would you be taking yoga each morning before you wrote? Would you spend every third Wednesday manning the phones at the support center? Would you be taking those cooking classes that you keep talking about?

It seems we always plan the activities for "when we get there" (wherever "there" is).  When we get the better job. When we've saved a few more dollars. When little Johnnie and Susie graduate high school. There are so many thing that we can do NOW that we put off until "the time is right". Why aren't you doing those things now? Is it money? Time? Energy? Really think about it and figure out why you aren't doing those things.

Pick something -- that one thing that you really want to do. It can be big or small, that doesn't matter. Now that you are thinking about that thing, can you do it? Really, take away the excuses and figure out HOW you can. Don't think about the "why you can't". Only think about the "HOW I can".

I'll let you in on a little secret. Going to that class was a HOW I can. Moneywise, timewise, energywise and just plain "worthywize" I couldn't see how in the world I could fit some writing classes into my life. Once I decided to do it, it was easy.

I found a writing group a little bit outside of where I live. It's not a formal group. Some meetings it's twenty people. Some meetings its four. Sometimes there's a formal presentation with a guest and finger sandwiches. Sometimes there a copied, copy of a copy that you read on your own and you ask for a breath mint from the person next to you. The ladies aren't "formal" writers (there has been a guy there twice). Each of them writes in their own time, at their own pace. They will critique your work if you'd like or they'd just smile at you as you come in and leave. You can talk during the meeting if you want or just keep to yourself. There are older members and there are really young members. There's one young lady that's 16 in the group. She's written and published 2 books. The oldest member is publishing her first book this summer. It's a "just as you are" group and it's wonderful.

So far I've been to a few meetings. Each time we pay $5 in dues. They told me that they've never had a big time speaker of their own but they have traveled together to see big time speakers. I've only been there for one formal speaker but I traveled with them to a workshop just outside of Atlanta.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I received an email last night from one of the members. She told us that she was moving from her home and going to stay with a friend in NYC. She had found an agent there and was going to work part time during the day and offer workshops in the evenings and Saturday's. She already has workshops booked for June, July and August.

I was jealous. I really was. Why wasn't it me sending that email? Well, except the part about NYC. I don't want to live there. It gets too cold in the winter. The "It shoulda been me" song (my fave version) went through my head and I got a little sad. But, I kept a stiff upper lip and sent an email back telling her how happy I was for her and I wished her the best. She emailed me back and told me that she expected me to send the same note as soon as I started using my "HOW I can"s.

Lissa, I'm going to start using my HOW I can right now. Save me a spot on the workshop roster for next summer!

This Much I Do Know...

I was reading wholelivingmagazine and the last page has an article titled "the whole truth". It's a bunch of thought provoking questions asked to Rosannecash. I saw the questions and thought they were pretty good. So, since I'm really famous too, I thought I'd answer them here.

AND because I'm crazy like that, I added one or two really good questions that I've seen over the years.

If I could say one thing to myself 20 years ago...Good God the ride is gonna be interesting. Always remember, there's a reason for everything AND what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

The lesson I keep learning over and over...the scorpion and the frog. No matter the situation, that lesson almost always applies.

Prized Possession...I know, you think I'd say The Princess but she isn't mine. She is only at my house on loan. In a few years she'll belong to the world and make it a better place for having known her. No, my most prized possession is a box of birthday cards that I keep. Some of them are from the Princess, some are from friends and family. All of them are funny, sweet and make me cry.

My mom was right about...Some kids at school teased me about the clothes I was wearing. I thought they were comfortable and I liked them. Mommie told me that it didn't matter what other people thought about me, my clothes, whatever. It mattered what I thought. I live by that motto to this day about most things - not just clothes.

My mom was wrong about...the phone. You have to handle it. Yes, that's in code.

My favorite place in the world...a porch with the sun shining, slightly off of me, with a cold slushie or a porch at night with the stars out, a glass of good wine and a great friend at my side.

Personal philosophy...You get five HaagenDas minutes and then it's done. Loosely translated - Go ahead and have a good cry. Then you need to put your big girl panties on and deal with it.

What keeps me up at night...Nothing (Because I refuse to worry. What good is that gonna do) and hopefully someone tapping my shoulder at 2 a.m.

Book that changed my life...Love You Forever. OMG! Every new mommie should read this book. The love you will feel for your child is captured perfectly in it.

My latest favorite quote...borrowed from Eat.Pray.Love.)"If I promise you that you will never have any reason in your life to ever worry about anything, will you believe me?"

Before I die I must see...Big Ben, London Bridge (the original one - it's not where you think!!), my book published, The Princess on screen (if that's what she REALLY wants to do).

What I know for sure...As long as I have faith, it will be alright.

Enjoy The Journey

I have a friend that sends me a daily inspiration email each morning (hence the name daily). Normally these little emails are uplifting and a pretty good way to start the day. The one that was sent this morning was especially on the money because it was entitled "Enjoy The Journey".

I began this blog a long time ago. This is the third incarnate. The first two were snappy and full of bite. I decided that snappy and bitey were not the direction I wanted to go. Then I began this one (and it was juuuust right).

I've been throught a lot in my 38 years and still have much, much, MUCH more to go. One thing that I have learned is that if you don't stop to smell the roses, you will miss a lot.

Here's to roses. May they smell good forever.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

TODAY'S WORD Sometimes it's easy to become so goal-oriented and so focused on our dreams that we overlook the simple things that we should be enjoying in our everyday life. But we have to remember that life is not really about the destination, it's about how we live all along the way. It's about the path we're on that shines brighter and brighter.

In this life, there is no such thing as a finish line. Once you accomplish one dream, God will give you another. When you overcome one challenge, there will be another. There is always another mountain to climb. If we make the mistake of just living for the destination, we'll look up one day and realize we've missed out on the biggest part of life because most of life is routine. Most of us get up every morning, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed and do it again. There are very few mountaintops where you graduate from school, or you get married, or have a child, or go on vacation. The high times are few and far between. Don't get stuck living for the mountaintops. Learn to enjoy the path you're on. Learn to enjoy the people in your life. Learn to enjoy the simple blessings of walking in the path the Lord has prepared for you.

Keep It Or Toss It? Part Deux.

So I was shooting the breeze with VA Girl and she asked me for an update on the Great American Clean Up. If you recall, I decided to take steps toward living the life that I want to live (to the fullest) and part of that was to live simply. Step one was to radically reduce the amount of "stuff" that I have. Sounds easy - I tell you it's not.

Well, I made a list of all the rooms that needed to be dealt with, checked it twice and began in the kitchen. I figured that would be the most emotionally draining (I am a foodie with tons of foodie accoutrements) so best to get that out the way. Good News! The kitchen (as well as the bathroom) is all spic and span. I didn't take a pic before (cause that would have been well thought out) but I did take a pic of all the crap that I put in a box for goodwill and an after pic.

Now, the pic above doesn't include the crap that I set out for The Sister, Ma Mere or the trash can. That's just the stuff (from the kitchen) for donations.
<--- And over there is the stuff that I kept, neatly put away.

Yes, it was emotional. No, I did not keep the potato ricer. Odd side story, the very next day I made mashed potatoes. I've had the ricer for nearly a year and NEVER made mashed potatoes until I tossed the ricer.

Next is the cookbook shelf and the bedroom desk. Yes, I'll take a picture and show you the before, perhaps a during and the after. It doesn't quite look like a scene from Ho@rders but I wouldn't throw stones at those people.

I'd tell you that the process hasn't been nearly as taxing on me as I thought, but that would be a lie. I knew it would be and it has been. A friend of mine gave me some very encouraging words over a glass of excellent wine, as he knew this would be difficult for me.

(paraphrased) Look at this as a step toward the life you've always wanted to lead. You've been taking baby steps toward that life and this pile of "stuff" was in your way. Move it out of your way and keep taking the steps. (unparaphrased).(Used without his expressed consent, knowledge or permission. But who's gonna tell him)?

So that's what I'm doing. I'm looking at this whole exercise as getting rid of junk and getting on with life. What life? Well, that's to be determined...

...and what a wonderful feeling that is!

What God Does At Midnight

Epiphanies happen at 1:05 in the morning. Is it because you are half asleep? Is it that you really are in REM sleep? Is it because everyone else is sleep so The Big G can focus all his time on you? I dunno. What I do know is that for me, the middle of the night is usually when they happen.

Last night I had one and it's very simple.

Yep, that's it -- simplicity.

I've decided to KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid). I have a lot of goings-on in my life and when you remove all the fast moving parts, I have some very simple things going on that are the most important things to me. I'm going to focus on those things and remove all of the other things that deter me from the important stuff. People, places, ideas, activities. All of them have to be pared down to the basics.

You're asking, how does that affect me? Well, quite simply, it doesn't. It doesn't affect you at all.

But it does affect me and that is what is going to make me a better person. Oh and well, that will make my posts more interesting (or terribly boring) so that does affect you!

So be on the lookout for simplicity. It will be so subtle, you may not even notice it! Or, it may be so earth shattering you have to shield your eyes from it.

"Be Still" ~ Your Sunday Sermon

Life really is a crazy, wacky journey, isn't it? I've spent all weekend on the phone with several people from my past, updating me on their lives, making me cry and laugh and promises of plans to get together in the future. The most prolific statement this weekend? "Isn't it funny how we get what we ask for, even we don't ask for it out loud?"

VA Girl is so right. There have been so many times that I've wanted something but never dared ask. Sometimes it seems too big or I don't feel like I've earned the right to ask. It doesn't matter. For whatever reason, if He deems it ok then The Big G fixes it right up for me -- and I never have to ask. No, the obstacles don't matter. Those are OUR obstacles. We put those things in the way. He has no obstacles, except, well, us.

Is seems like everything is so rush, rush, rush - hurry up and get it done NOW, we don't take the time for things to simply fall into place. Yes, many times we have to do something, make something move in order for things to work but many other times, things are working themselves out. The Big G is taking care of it for us with the simplest of plans.

I guess "Be still" is something we should all take more time and do. I'm not good at "be still". It seems like a loss of control for me. I don't like to lose control. I like to know who, what, when, where, how and why.

But, I'm learning that sometimes being still and doing nothing is the very best thing we can do. Sometimes it solves a problem that we thought was simply too big.

And sometimes it solves a problem that we pretended we didn't have.

All you need is love.

This one is an interesting one. Today's task is to "Share your thoughts on positivity, supporting other women, the future of communities if we could eliminate drama and negativity and what it means to act in love at all times".

I wrote this post several different times before deciding to just keep it simple. I have a circle of lovely friends. They are so dear to me. I will try to act in love with them at all times. I will make more batches of veggie soup. I will send more "just because" cards. I will think of them twice as much as I do now. I will tell them what they mean to me and support them in their endeavors.

I don't think that's to big a task -- especially for a Super Mommie.

Is This What You Planned?

I just wrote the check and sealed the envelope on the forms for my high school reunion...my 20 year high school reunion.

It seems so long ago yet just a while back that I was in high school, my entire life ahead of me. Those giggling girls that I was friends with would be my friends forever and that football player that I dated, well he'd be the man that would walk me down the isle, or so it would seem.

The 5 year reunion wasn't even a thought. I had just left those people. I was a newly married woman in a different state (no, not the football player -- someone totally different). Who wanted to travel 600 miles for a weekend full of people just out of college? My 10 year reunion was missed as well. I was too busy dealing with life. At that time, it seemed that it was more than I could handle. I had a small baby and I didn't have time to compare life notes with anyone. I didn't go to the 15 year reunion either. I had just gotten a divorce and was still finding my way through the mess.

20 years? I'm ready. I have my footing. I feel right in my skin. It only took 18 years for me to discover who I am and what I want. I'm not afraid to go by myself or ask a friend to go with me. I enjoy my job and get paid pretty well for doing it. I have the world's most beautiful Princess and I am so proud of the job that I've done raising her. Yep, I'm ready - not because of what I've done or haven't done but because I understand who I am.

So many people worry about what they haven't done by now or what they should have done by now. When I was in high school I thought I'd be a teacher married with 6 kids. I'm not a teacher, I'm not married and only have 1 kid. What did I know back then? I thought that would make me happy. Nope, I've never been happier than I am now (except for that time the Princess and I made molten chocolate cake with real vanilla ice cream - I was pretty damned happy in that moment!).

I'm excited to see the girls and the pictures that tell the beginnings of our lives. I'm ready to show off who am I am and where I am. No, I'm not where I thought I'd be...I'm in a far better, happier place!


TOP TEN SONGS OF 1990

1990
December 23, 1989 - January 13, 1990:
Another Day In Paradise - Phil Collins
January 20 - February 9:
How Am I Supposed To Live Without You - Michael Bolton
February 10 - March 2:
Opposites Attract - Paula Abdul with The Wild Pair
March 3 - March 23:
Escapade - Janet Jackson
March 24 - April 6:
Black Velvet - Alannah Myles
April 7 - April 13:
Love Will Lead You Back - Taylor Dayne
April 14 - April 20:
I'll Be Your Everything - Tommy Page
April 21 - May 18:
Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Connor
May 19 - June 8:
Vogue - Madonna
June 9 - June 15:
Hold On - Wilson Phillips
June 16 - June 29:
It Must Have Been Love - Roxette
June 30 - July 21:
Step by Step - New Kids on the Block
July 21 - August 3:
She Ain't Worth It - Glenn Medeiros featuring Bobby Brown
August 4 - August 31:
Vision of Love - Mariah Carey
September 1 - September 7:
If Wishes Came True - Sweet Sensation
September 8 - September 14:
Blaze of Glory Jon - Bon Jovi
September 15 - September 29:
Release Me - Wilson Phillips
September 29 - October 5:
(I Can't Live Without Your) Love & Affection - Nelson
October 6 - October 12:
Close to You - Maxi Priest
October 13 - October 19:
Praying for Time - George Michael
October 20 - October 26:
I Don't Have the Heart - James Ingram
October 27 - November 2:
Black Cat - Janet Jackson
November 3 - November 9:
Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
November 10 - November 30:
Love Takes Time - Mariah Carey
December 1 - December 7:
I'm Your Baby Tonight - Whitney Houston
December 8, 1990 - January 4, 1991:
Because I Love You (The Postman Song) - Stevie B

Know what you don't know.

I learned a new lesson this evening. Well, no. I didn't learn something new -- I gained understanding of something that I had been told many times before.

A good friend of mine use to always say to me, "Know what you don't know." That phrase seems very simple but most of us probably don't heed the warning. I certainly didn't.

I help people. It's a part of my DNA. Even when I don't particularly want to help, I do. I found out after weeks of trying to help someone, I had limited knowledge of what they needed. I thought that it would be easy to take the knowledge I did have and turn it into a helpful deed. Instead, I wasted precious time. I would have helped them more by simply saying, "I don't know." Then, they could have found out what they needed and finished what they started.

I think that we (I) have a fear of disappointing people by revealing that there are things that we don't know. The truth is, no one will be disappointed if we don't know everything. I initially felt like terrible for not saying that I didn't know for sure two weeks ago. I apologized profusely to my friend. She asked what I was apologizing for. I told her for wasting her time. She said instead of just her learning something new we both did. She said there were no apologies needed. She really is a good friend.

Whoooo are you? do do do do.

I am about 2 months away from my birthday -- my 38th birthday. I only had 2 months to decide what this will be the year of.

You're asking, "The year of what?"

Well, "the year of...." it's the annual affirmation that I make. A few years ago it was, "Just say no." Three years ago it was, "I'm not gonna do it, if it doesn't make me feel good." The affirmation has to be "me" related. It has to be for the good of "me". This year my affirmation is less of an affirmation and more of a quest.

Who will I be?

I got married at a very young age -- I became a wife. Then I had a child at a kinda young age -- I became a mommie. I have of course, been a child, a sister, a niece, an aunt, a friend and on occasion -- a lover. Many of those things, I will always be. Some of those things, I have ceased being. And, in about 5 or so years, I will change the nature of some of those relationships, i.e. The Princess will go away to college and I will be home alone. At that point, who will I be?

As an adult I've pretty much always been a wife and a mother. Soon I will get to discover who SM is as a person separate from wife and mother. Oh, I know, I know. So many people will say you aren't supposed to loose yourself just because you are a wife or mother. Well, the simply fact is, I did. I threw myself into wife-dom and mommie-dom.

Oh, please don't think that I would change a thing! No, I'm not married any more and yes, I LOVE being mommie to the Princess. Of all the things that I will EVER be, my favorite title will always be mommie. But, I am soooo excited to start this next chapter in my life. The time of finding out who I am, what I like and what I want to do. There will be some moments of extreme selfishness, yes, there will. But there will also be some tender moments of pure giving.

I've made some serious plans for this year. I am more than a little excited about them. I'll take you on as much of the journey as I can but some of those things, well, some of them are personal and aren't meant to be shared with others. Some things might be embarrassing but somethings might be too revealing or too raw.

In any case all of them will be one step closer to who I am.

Who are you?

Happy 2010!

Here we are on the eve of a new year. I can already tell it's going to be a great one! No matter what you felt about 2009, it's behind us, only a memory. What we do now is move forward. I don't do resolutions per se, but I thought I'd impart some of my wisdom on you. Feel free to take one and make it your motto for 2010. My motto? I'm going with #5 & #10.

1. Never eat yellow snow.
2. Being a member of the "clean plate club" also make you a member of the "you've gained an extra 10 pounds club". It's ok to leave food on the plate if it will make you a healthier person.
3. Always have a designated driver and the number of a taxi service.
4. Remember...it's possible that the world will see your text messages - spell properly.
5. Shave, just in case. Hell, you never know!
6. Exercise more and if you shave you might get that opportunity (wink, wink).
7. Spend more time with your loved ones. Children grow up and friends move away. Love them while you can.
8. Use tote bags and recycle. Really. You need to.
9. Learn something new -- how to sew, cook a new dish, drink more, curse better -- just learn something new!
10. Give more than you receive -- hugs, kisses, love, time,

Happy 2010!

The hillllls are alive, with the sound of muuuuusicccc!.

I am 2 minutes away from watching "The Sound of Music" so I don't have long. The Tall girl will be texting any minute now to make sure I'm watching (Mind Enhancement - #73 Watch 15 classic movies that I haven't seen).

I ran across a cute little piece of information that I've seen a million times. Tonight I actually read it. It's things you should know by 30. It's very good information and even if you are 50, you should still practice. I too have a long way to go.

It's actually 30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30. The first half is the "should have". Tonight I am focusing on "should know". Let's have a refresher shall we?

By 30, you should know:

• How to fall in love without losing yourself.
• How you feel about having kids.
• How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
• When to try harder and when to walk away.
• How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
• The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.
• How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
• How to take control of your own birthday.
• That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
• That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
• What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
• That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
• Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
• Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
• Why they say life begins at 30.

http://www.glamour.com/magazine/2007/02/things-women-should-have-and-know-by-30

Melted plastic and rum cookies.

Every day should be a new day with a new lesson learned. I learned a new lesson today. Do not place Rubbermaid container tops on the stove and then turn the oven on. The top will melt. I know, I know, it doesn't seem logical to me either. Indirect heat will melt a flimsy piece of plastic? If I pay $7 for a 26 piece set of plastic, 375 degrees of indirect heat (for 40 minutes) shouldn't melt it, even if the box tells you not to place in oven or on stove. Perhaps if they had pictures with a red "X" over it, I would have understood. (deep sigh).

I also learned that melted plastic, once cooled, will pull up off of a stove in a nice, deformed pattern that is ready for the trash. Nothing ruined, but of course, 24 cents worth of plastic (okay 48 cents...it was two tops that melted).

==============================================

The baking began in earnest this weekend. Last week I made fudge. That’s not baking. This weekend I made muffins and almond crescent cookies. Except, I didn’t have any almond extract. I used rum extract instead. Do you think that will alter the taste? Yeah, probably. Do you think The Princess and I will care? Will it prevent us from eating them? No, probably not. It has to be a burnt, nasty mess for us to not at least taste them!

Fa la la la la – la la – la – la!

NOTE: the rum flavor made a great cookie. I cut the batch in half and ended up with 20 cookies. Next time I'll make the entire batch.