Dear Thief (part three)

Sigh. Life for me is never dull or boring. Most of the time it's down right funny (well you know, later, after the pain subsides). It's a thrill a minute for me.

If you don't remember the Dear Thief chronicles, take a second to (re)acquaint yourselves.

Dear Thief part 1

Dear Thief part 2


Today's hilarious tale begins with the fact that my bedroom gets a little warm in the evenings (and no, not from any hot action or anything). I have three, large windows in my room that let in beautiful sunlight and also warmth. By 4pm in the afternoon it's super warm and I need to circulate some air around.

So, I decided to have some ceiling fans put up. When I first moved into the apartment, management told me that the maintenance guy could handle stuff like that for me...for a small fee. Cool. I told management to have him call me.

Long story made short, the mainenance guy contacted me and said he'd put up the fans for $30 total. That's pretty sweet! I'd made some calls and gotten much higher fees. So, this morning dude called me to let me know he'd be putting up the fans for me today. I said great. He asked if he could swing past later to pick up payment. I said of course. I get home about 7pm. I asked him if I needed to meet him somewhere.

He said, "Nope. I'll just come down. I live upstairs in 1130."

Son-of-a-biscuit-eater! You mean "the man" has been stealing power?! You've been working for the complex the whole time? What the hell?!


Sigh (again).
I sure do need one of those "SYWM" t-shirts right about now (and an adult slushee)! That takes the cake!!

But, it fits right in with the rest of my life, I suppose.

ps - I'd love to sport a "SYWM" t-shirt but where in the hell would I? Maybe Aunt Becky can make buttons instead? Pencils? An ink pen? That's a free idea Auntie B. I won't even charge you!

Super Mommie Needs A Break

No-- I'm not leaving! I'm sharing!

Sometimes supermommie needs a break. Sometimes things get crazy and you just need to have some funny in your life. So, where does SM go for funny?


This is why you're fat.
In case you've ever wondered why we are so fat. Most of this stuff will make you want to hurl but every now and then (mars bars cake, Doughnut Upside Down Cake, Burger King Funnel Cake Fries With Icing Dip) you just wanna find the recipe.

Failbooking
This is such a fall on your face laughing good time! Crackbook will never be the same.

People of Walmart
And you wonder who goes there at 2am. If this doesn't make you laugh it's cause one of the photos is of you.

PostSecret
If you don't run to this page every Sunday then well...maybe you have things to do. But in between those things to do, do this. The posts will make you gasp and check to see if your BFF sent in one of the cards!

CakeWrecks
ROTFLMAO! Aren't you glad you purchased your cake from a reliable bakery (that can spell?)

Funny or Die
Many of them are side splitting.


Stuff White People Like
I know. It doesn't sound "pc" but it's not bad. It appears to be true. I'm only guessing cause well...I'm not white. It's not super funny but it's very interesting.


Best of Bad Baby Names
This makes Super Mommie feel REALLY good about her own name (not that I ever felt bad Ma Mere)!

Laughter Really Is The Best Medicine

I don't know if any of you have a teenager but if you do, you understand the craziness that is adolescence. If you do understand it, please send me a detailed manual because I have NO idea what the hell I'm doing.

Anywho, The Princess is in the full onset of adolescence and because I can't afford therapy (for myself, not the kid) I laugh to hide the pain. I try to find my laughs where I can get them. Sometimes a good Sandra Bullock movie works (If you haven't seen The Proposal, put your depends on cause you are gonna pee your pants!) and other times I put in The Original Kings of Comedy or an Eddie Izzard dvd (he is my favorite Brit comedian). But, other times, I just listen to my kid. Take last night for instance.

Paraphrased because who in the hell remembers what happened 12 hours ago? I went to sleep people!).

The Princess (timidly) : "Mommie. I need to tell you something."
Super Mommie (scared shitlessly): "Yes my darling. What is it?"

TP (Damn, I hate that 'The Princess' initials are TP - I'm gonna change it) : "At school today Bobby (not his real name) accidentally pulled my arm really hard and I said a cussing word."

SM (thanking God that it wasn't something more serious): "Oh, well honey, sometimes when we're in pain, bad words slip out of our mouth. You shouldn't do it often though because you can get in trouble. Did you get in trouble? Did a teacher hear you?"

My Princess: "No, only Bobby heard me."

SM: "Well, you don't want the teachers to think you always cuss like a sailor (Does she even know what the hell a sailor is? No, I don't think so. Mental note - Tell her what the 'eff' a sailor is)."

MP (Crap! Those initials suck too!): "Ok, I won't cuss".

SM: "Yeah, use other words to release your frustration. Like darn or shoot or ouch."

Super Princess: "Ok. Am I in trouble."

SM: "No sweetie. Of course not. Just try not to do it again. Ummm, by the way, what 'cussing word' did you say?"

SP (Those initials are waaaay better): "I said 'shit' ."

SM (That's my girl! Start off light. Use the big words for big situations): "Well, don't say it again."

You try not to laugh while having that conversation! I love the fact that she tells me everything most things. Will that last forever? No? Only the next three days? Oh well, I better enjoy it. Let me go watch the dance scene in The Proposal so I can laugh.