75. Move somewhere super duper fabulous.

I moooooved! Hallelujah!

Let me tell you, the old place had just gotten crazy.  It was time to move on to greener pastures. So, I hitched up my wagon and moved exactly 1.5 miles east. Yep, that was far.

The move went without any major glitches. My moving company moved the big stuff (BIG-HUGE shout out to 2 Men and a Truck, the Decatur location. Those guys rock!!!) And, la familia moved the little stuff...a lot of little stuff! I have to give a big shout out to The Sister, The Sister's Friend and The Arteest for helping out big time. The Princess worked her little tail off too. High Five Girlie!

Oh! And Spy Grandma saw me moving. She wanted a hug! (Screams loudly in her head). I went right in the house and took a shower! I bet she put a tracking chip on my back. I wouldn't be surprised if I saw her at the new place (I'd probably pee my pants but I wouldn't be surprised).

Long story short, everything is great. There are a few annoyances that will work themselves out soon. Like --I have to wear an eye mask at night cause the street light shines in my south bedroom windows and I haven't hung the "black out" curtains yet; I have to be careful hanging curtains because I get charged for every nail hole in the wall at the end of my lease; I can't make eggs because I can't find my frying pan; I ran out of shelf paper and have to get some more before I could put up my spices and seasonings; I haven't been able to cook a real meal in a week and I am having cooking withdrawls; And, my land line (yes, I have one) doesn't

have all the feature working yet, BUT...

I sat on my patio Sunday night sipping wine and watching airplanes go by; I have a garden forest tub in my spacious bathroom with walk-in-closet; the morning light from the east window is soooo beautiful; My kitchen has plenty of cabinets and a pantry (!); My rental office is open when they say they will be open (9am - 6pm) and they will stay a few minutes later if need be; Paying your rent on line is FREE; The Princess L-O-V-E-S her room and ajoining bathroom; I have trash valet service (yep, I know!); and the cable people gave me free HBO for a year!

It's great. This weekend, I'll hang my pear pictures and my curtains. Anyone got any 3M curtain hanging ideas? So far I got PVC pipe and some 3M command strips.

Be Safe

Seeing a cell phone through the eyes of a budding teenager is pretty amazing. I've watched the Princess learn (very quickly) how to use the phone and The Sister has watched her learn (again, SUPER quickly) how to text.

We were all sitting at a family dinner last week and the Princess sent us all a text message asking us what we were doing. Well duh! We're sitting in front of you!

Doesn't matter. She just wanted to text. Thank God for ummm-limited texting.

She also likes to call. She calls everyone, just to see how they are doing, to tell them what she just ate or what she is going to eat or even what she would like to eat. She called me from the living room (I was ten feet away in my bedroom -yeah I know, tiny apartment) and asked me if she could get some pudding. Then when she finished, she sent me a "Thank You" text.

The final straw was when I was sitting at my mother's office, waiting to take her home and the Princess asked (texted) me what I was doing.

SM - "I'm sitting in Ma Mere's office waiting to take her home."

TP - "What time are you leaving to come pick me up?"

SM - "In a few minutes."

TP - "Okay."

SM - "I love you."

TP - "I love you too. Be safe."

Be safe? I like the fact that she is concerned for my welfare but where the hell did she learn that? I sure as hell don't say it. If I could have text her back I would have said, "ROTFLMAO. WTF?"

But that wouldn't be appropriate.

Oh, side note. I printed out a complete list of texting lingo. 46 pages. Half those words are ones that I've never even heard of. Half of them are words that the Princess can't use. And, half of them are ones that may or may not be acceptable.

I know, I can count. I'm just under stress. You can judge my math when YOU have a teenager-not until.

And I Lo Jacked That Mug!

To piggie back on the fact that I stalked my daughter on the first day of school (giving her years of therapy to pay for), Tuesday we ran to the cell phone store so fast I tore the hinges off that motha (shut yo mouf). Yep, I bought the Princess a cell phone cause I am that mommie (have I told you that before?).

Now, I know that she is my child because I told her that I would pay for the phone as long as she paid for half the bill each month. I told her to feel free to use the resources at her disposal.

So TP spent the last 2 nights calling relatives on her cell phone...and telling them that W@lly W0rld had $10, $20 and $50 pre-paid cards that she could use to pay the monthly bill. And what pray tell, came in my e-mail today? Requests for my mailing address and promises of $50 pre-paid cards from the grands and a $20 card from Auntie Virginia Girl. That can pay her portion of the bill for 6 months!! She works hard for her money folks.

I'm gonna remember this when it's junior/senior dues time AND when the college tuition fees are due. I'll call all of you on her blinged out phone if I have to!

Oh, and to be clear, the pictured phone is not her phone. I thought it wouldn't be right to post an actual picture of her phone.

Especially since we will be making a trip to the mall to get a cover for it - sponsored by Auntie The Sister.

Who Needs A Fingertip?

You can't see it from the picture but I cut the hell outta my finger. This is 24 hours later. I couldn't take a picture as it was happening because, duh, I was bleeding. I didn't stop bleeding for an hour. I told The Princess to call Ma Mere if I passed out from blood loss. I don't think she cared.

I was trying to cut a pre-cut (shut up) bagel (for The Princess) and accidentally cut my finger tip damned near off instead. I dropped the bagel on the floor and ran to the sink to run it under cold water. That stung like hell!! I tried to apply pressure using towels and only succeeded in cause a laundry nightmare for myself.

And living with this type of injury isn't easy. I tried to put on my shirt with a towel wrapped around my still bleeding finger and got blood all over the damned place. The Princess had to snap my bra for me. I think she vomited a little in her mouth (Well, "the girls" can't make everybody's day). It's also hard to put on and zip up pants while trying to keep ice, in a towel, while wrapped around your hand. And curling your hair? My hair looked like hot shyt yesterday.

Typing without that finger? Damned near impossible. Good thing that only 95% of my job requires it! Lotioning the left foot? Not today! I have one lotioned foot and one ashy one. Deodorant? Only on the left side sista sue! I'd keep away from the right side of me if I were you.

But today is better. My finger is properly wrapped (thanks sis). And I can actually do things again. I can't use the "F" or "T" keys properly yet and I can't dig a booger.

But I'm working on it.

Keep It Or Toss It? Part Deux.

So I was shooting the breeze with VA Girl and she asked me for an update on the Great American Clean Up. If you recall, I decided to take steps toward living the life that I want to live (to the fullest) and part of that was to live simply. Step one was to radically reduce the amount of "stuff" that I have. Sounds easy - I tell you it's not.

Well, I made a list of all the rooms that needed to be dealt with, checked it twice and began in the kitchen. I figured that would be the most emotionally draining (I am a foodie with tons of foodie accoutrements) so best to get that out the way. Good News! The kitchen (as well as the bathroom) is all spic and span. I didn't take a pic before (cause that would have been well thought out) but I did take a pic of all the crap that I put in a box for goodwill and an after pic.

Now, the pic above doesn't include the crap that I set out for The Sister, Ma Mere or the trash can. That's just the stuff (from the kitchen) for donations.
<--- And over there is the stuff that I kept, neatly put away.

Yes, it was emotional. No, I did not keep the potato ricer. Odd side story, the very next day I made mashed potatoes. I've had the ricer for nearly a year and NEVER made mashed potatoes until I tossed the ricer.

Next is the cookbook shelf and the bedroom desk. Yes, I'll take a picture and show you the before, perhaps a during and the after. It doesn't quite look like a scene from Ho@rders but I wouldn't throw stones at those people.

I'd tell you that the process hasn't been nearly as taxing on me as I thought, but that would be a lie. I knew it would be and it has been. A friend of mine gave me some very encouraging words over a glass of excellent wine, as he knew this would be difficult for me.

(paraphrased) Look at this as a step toward the life you've always wanted to lead. You've been taking baby steps toward that life and this pile of "stuff" was in your way. Move it out of your way and keep taking the steps. (unparaphrased).(Used without his expressed consent, knowledge or permission. But who's gonna tell him)?

So that's what I'm doing. I'm looking at this whole exercise as getting rid of junk and getting on with life. What life? Well, that's to be determined...

...and what a wonderful feeling that is!

Summer vaca is here! The Princess is in full summer mode. What exactly does that mean? Well, stay up longer, sleep later, eat cereal all day long and watch more tv than should be allowed by law....well, for the next 2 weeks. Then summer camp begins.

I want a 2 week vaca. No, I don't have to go anywhere. A "stay-ca" will do just fine. Problem is, then I'd want to extend it. If I had two weeks off and the company would continue to pay me, my itinerary would be so great!

Day 1 - Sleep late - don't have to rush and do anything cause I have two weeks to do it in! I'll make a mimosa with for breakfast. Bake cookies for lunch and brownies for dinner.

Day 2 - Brunch with The Princess (at home or out is fine). Something super fattening with lots of butter and maple syrup. Start reading a steamy, trashy novel. Please pass me that mimosa.

Day 3 - Shopping (without The Princess - she doesn't like shopping...yet!). Get toes done. Have another mimosa.

Day 4 - Go to Br@ves Country with The Princess and watch my team win the game. Do they sell anything other than beer? I don't drink beer!

Day 5 - Finish reading the trashy novel. Move on to something stronger than a mimosa - Have to call The Sister over to make drinks.

Day 6 - Bowling or something fun with The Princess (cause that'll be when she is ready to stop watching tv and playing DSlite). Relax with a glass or two of wine once back home.

Day 7 - Lunch with someone else thats on vaca. Perhaps movies with them as well. Mixed drinks and fun conversation.

You see the pattern. Food, shopping and drinks. Ahhhh the life.

I have a 3 day vaca coming up. Let see how much of each I can handle!

Tuesday Helpful Hints

I saw and heard about a few things today that really should not have happened. People, I don't want you to let these things happen again, ok?

--- I don't want you to get arrested in the middle of rush hour traffic with a red bandanna, blue sweatpants and 1 tennis shoe. I don't understand how you were driving with only 1 tennis shoe on. I wonder if that is part of the reason for the arrest.

--- I don't want you to change clothes while on the M@rt@ train. I know that the passengers pretend that it's ok, but they really are confused by this. But, if you are going to do this, I hope your bra and panties match. (thanks Tall girl for this one)

--- I'm not sure that you should be putting mascara on while driving. Yes, it's a stop light but ma'am, it's green and you are driving.

--- I'm not sending my child to you for tutoring if you misspell tutoring on your cardboard sign.

--- Don't name your kid Sad-e. I'm not opposed to the name, I am opposed to the spelling. (thanks Sister for this one)

--- Before attempting to lay blame at another person's feet, make sure that the person doesn't practice "ass coverage". It could result in YOU getting in waaaay more trouble than you originally were in (thanks to Emi No - but she doesn't know it yet)

--- Pick a color for your car. And, for the record, "primer" is not a color.

--- Going to the library isn't that hard. It's also not as painful as you make it out to be. But, ok, if you'd rather spend $25 on a book rather than read it for free because you don't have the "time" to order it on-line at 10am and then pick it up at the librarians desk at 5pm, you deserve to spend $25.