Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned

It has been ummm, a really, really long time since my last confession (because I am such a good girl that I never sin - oops, watch out for that lightening bolt).

I just bought another box of GS cookies.

I know, I know but those damned caramel 3 milk cookie things are so freakin good with coffee! I mean the cookie melts but the caramel chips don't and they taste so sweet that afterwards your coffee tastes caramelly.

I ate some grits and eggs this morning (like every good southern girl should) but I wanted something sweet to go with my coffee. And, a pastry from the "crap-a-teria" would have been $1.75 anyway. A box of cookies is two days worth (the serving size on the box is JUST a suggestion people!). So really, really the three bucks, fifty, was totally worth it.

Anyway, I'll walk it off tonight. I will! Well, no I won't but I'll want to. I'll mean to. The entire drive home I'll think about walking it off and then the kid will start talking about what happened on her field trip (the one where she frees the whales and shit) and then I'll juice some carrots and stuff with the juicer (yep, I'm still at it) and then I'll sit in bed watching mindless television while talking on the phone about mindless gossip and then it will be too late cause you can't exercise an hour or so before bed and I have EVERY intention of going to sleep at 9:30.

Whew! Just thinking about exercise is a work out.

I'll think I'll have 3 bloody marys and call it a day.

It's not me, it's you.

I dated a chef once. Did I ever tell you that? Being that I love food, I thought that it would work out beautifully! Well, it didn't. Two cooks in the kitchen make for a lot of arguments. Fighting over the proper use of spices is not "hot" as you would think it would be. It just makes you wonder how heavy a cast iron skillet really is and can you make "it" look like an accident.

I dated a pretty boy twice. They hogged the mirror, used more "products" than I have EVER used and gave me reason to wonder if metrosexual was hiding something deeper, darker in their past.

I've dated (1)/married(1) guys that made fun of my being a veggie girl. I know. I should have held a pillow over their head in while they were sleeping. I thought about it...a lot. I mean threatening to eat a bleeding hamburger in front of me just incites me to help make YOU that bleeding hamburger. I didn't threaten to throw salads and tofu patties at them but perhaps I should have.

I've dated/married snorers and it didn't bother me (sorry Tall Girl). However, people that talk AND walk in their sleep freak me out. And, I won't tell you what else this particular guy did in his sleep cause I was starting to enjoy it....UNTIL I REALIZED HE WAS FREAKIN SLEEP!!!! Wake up for that dude!

I say all of this for my good friend VA Girl (Yea! Now you have a name!). You asked me if you were being too picky and would it be wrong to break if off with him. Yes, you can be picky but I don't think you are being picky. Yes, you can break it off with him. I just think that latex man is not right for you. (No, I will not explain that one even though it is so funny it will make you pee your pants). He seems nice when I've talked to him but I think you are not the type of woman he needs (I think there are some bunny ranches in Nevada he can go to or he can look on Cr@igslist).

It's ok to not like stuff about him and use that as your excuse to say, "It's not me, it's you." You gave him 6 months and you don't feel for him the way he and his bag of latex tricks feel about you. If you continue this relationship, you'll just gather more reasons to stab him in his sleep later.

And I don't have bail money. I have to save for summer camp for The Princess. BUT, I will put $10 on your commissary.

Mindless Television and Children in Jail

I spend most of my Sunday evening watching Parking wars. I LOVE this show!! Have you not seen it? No? I need you to take some time and watch an episode or two. It will TOTALLY make you feel really good about yourself.

AND, the Princess has an upcoming field trip to the aquarium. I am beyond freaked out about this. She is Ms. Save The World so I can honestly envision the following phone call.

SM: Hello.

APD: Is this the mother of The Princess?

SM: Yes, why?

APD: Ma'am, we're going to need you to come downtown to bail your daughter out of jail.

SM: Jail?! OMG! Whatever do you mean jail? My sweet angel in jail?

APD: Yes ma'am. Your sweet angel freed the whales.

SM: Freed the whales?

APD: And the dolphins.

SM: The dolphins?

APD: And the penguins.

SM: Oh dear.

APD: And staged a protest rally, tying herself to the crustaceans cage.

SM: I'll be right down. What's the amount of bail.

APD: No ma'am, we just want you to come get her. She won't stop talking.

Well, it would kinda go like that. And, I think the aquarium has all that stuff. I don't like field trips so I wouldn't know.

You Really Do Have The Right To Remain Silent...But Someone Should Probably Say Something!

My first blog topic was an ode to a zebra. Then I thought of a montage of zebra related topics and items and perhaps even a zebra song. But, I remembered that I'd have to post an actual picture of a zebra and I threw up just a little in my mouth. (Click HERE in case you don't know why).

Then I decided to write about something more pressing, something that the world has not shone (is that a word?) it's spot light on.

Friends who let friends...

Friends who let friends....wear stupid shit to work. I just sent an email to a friend, who let her friend wear the most hideous outfit I had ever seen in my life. It was just wrong to not let her know she looked like a jackarse. I mean people will see her! If you want to dress crazy, do it in the privacy of your own home.

Friends who let friends....audition for television shows when they know those people have no damned talent at all. Now, please understand that I love to sing. I do it in the car, in the bathroom, hell I might be convinced (after several shots of something really strong) to do it at a karaoke bar. I am not, AM NOT going to audition for TV. I know better.

Friends who let friends....procreate with crazy ass people. I have about 3 friends right now that I am not speaking to (well, I do speak to them but with a hint of venom in my voice.). Be nice and offer double lined condoms or a replacement person or something when you see your friend dating someone that seems even remotely douchie. Remember, a short roll in the sack could mean you are tethered to them FOR-EVA!!!!

Friends who let friends....continue to make food that tastes like dog breath. When I first started working in my department, everyone ranted and raved over this lady's potluck dish. I was ready for a taste of heaven when she made it at the Thanksgiving potluck that year. I took a big bite and thought I would vomit right where I stood. It tasted like *ish! Why hadn't anyone told her? Were their taste buds off? I don't care if she is old or not -- that tastes like crap (or what I imagine crap to taste like).

There are times when little white lies are good (OMG your haircut looks great. Wow! Your kid really does look like his father) but in most cases, the truth is best. I mean I try to be as non-commental (again, is that a word?) as possible but sometimes you just HAVE to say something. BUT if it's a situation where the truth might hurt or get you fired...

...remain silent.

Will Someone Please Pass Me The Trash Can?

I kinda feel sick. Today was bake sale day at work. Lot's of people baked lots of things. I felt the need to do my part. Now, I kinda want to barf.

If it was put on the table, I ate it -- a lot of it.

I spend lots of money for the cause.

I wish I could blog something funny or cute or even sarcastic today.

But I can't.

All I can do is hope that I can make it through traffic before the contents of my stomach begin to rebel.

Sigh.

My name is Super Mommie and I like to eat food.

Rain, rain, go away!

It's raining today and it will rain tomorrow but I'm not letting that get in the way of summer sandals!

I've spent the morning (you know, while working) looking at summer sandals and dreaming. A sporty pair for the baseball game, the sexy pair for the class reunion, the casual pair for nice dinners out with the fam. I didn't order any but I've made mental appointments to visit 3 shoe stores Saturday. I'll be there bright and early with cash in hand!

I also picked up 3 new bottles of nail polish!! New nail polish for a new year! They will look so nice on freshly manicured toesies. They are all shades of soft pink. My feet like soft shades of pink in the summer. I go a bit darker in the winter but softer in the summer. I don't care what the fashion trends are -- my toes like what they like!

And, this weekend, I looked at sundresses. I wanted to add to the one that I got 2 weeks ago. The Princess picked up 2 really cute skirts and I tried on a few things but nothing worked. That's okay. This weekend will be more of the same. Nice, light, summery materials only. Winter wool need not apply.

Oh, I also looked at new chairs for the patio. They were on sale and I need to have something to sit on as I read a good book while sipping on an adult slushie. The Princess can have fruit punch.

And homemade ice cream! I've been collecting recipes all winter. Nutella ice cream. Lemon ice cream. Praline pecan ice cream. OMG. I am so ready. The ice cream maker has been sitting in the corner staring at me all winter. "Open me! Play with me! Love me!". I promise little ice cream maker, it's almost time!

So rain drops, you can continue to fall on my head but I'll be thinking of summer.

Change is good.

I'd like to update some of my 101 in 1001. Why you ask? Well, things have changed in the last 150 days. I've changed. My circumstances have changed. So my 101 has changed.

I'd like to be able to say that I'll feel the same way 1001 days later but come on, really?! I change my mind on what color underwear I'm going to put on between the bathroom and the dresser!

So, I've listed the original items and then the changes (in red).

====================================================

4., 5. & 6. - Creating scrapbooks - Yeah....no. I'm just not into scrapbooking. I like crafts but not that much.

55. Get married - No. I don't think that's for me. I've already done it a few times. And, as I was telling The Tall Girl, I don't think I am a "forever" kinda girl. I'm more of a "just for now - let's see how this goes" kinda girl. I'd like a companion but I don't know that I can promise more than 10 years or so. This could change, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

57. Get things from mom's garage - she's my mom - I ain't movin' my stuff!! (And the Arteest better keep his mouth shut! If you tell mommie, I'm gonna give you a wedgie!). I'm going to buy a new filing cabinet instead.

75. Buy a house - I would like to but it may not happen in the next 2 years. It's a great plan but I have a more important plan right now. Instead, I'm changing this to move someplace fabulous. I don't have to own it, I just have to love it.

77. Open an IRA - Yeah, I know I should. But, Sue-sue said to get 8 month savings into an account. Let's work on that first. Maybe I'll just buy a savings bond (in this time of economic craziness).

82. Volunteer 101 hours. I've downsized. There are 16 hours in a day. I spend 2 1/2 commuting, 8 at work, 2.5 each night with the Princess and 3 trying to see what's at the bottom of my wine glass. No, really, I spend as much time as I can with the Princess and the rest getting my mind right. 24 hours is good. Let's make that the starting point. We can always do more.

So there you have it. Change is good.

And Now A Public Service Announcement...

It's finally close to spring. You all know I don't like winter very much. Spring is ok, but I want to move on past and get to summer. Why miss all the beauty of spring? Allergy season is close by. My allergies have always been out of control. BUT this spring will be different!

Have I mentioned my neti pot to you?

No, the nice neti pot people haven't paid me a dime but I thought it was important to mention. It sounds kinda gross, yes, but if you've spent years with the allergy problems I have, you'll try anything. I would go through a box of tissues a day! I tried the shots, pills, everything. And to think that a $14 teapot looking thing would solve my problem.

Oh yes. SM runs warm, salt water through her nose every morning. I breathe better, I don't wheeze and while other people are feeling the sinus pressure from the change in seasons, SM hasn't had a sinus headache in over a year!

I don't think it will solve 100% of my allergy issues, but if it solves 75% of them, I'm happy. A box of tissue per week versus 1 box a day (and sometimes 2 boxes in the height of allergy season) wins hands down.

All you need is love.

This one is an interesting one. Today's task is to "Share your thoughts on positivity, supporting other women, the future of communities if we could eliminate drama and negativity and what it means to act in love at all times".

I wrote this post several different times before deciding to just keep it simple. I have a circle of lovely friends. They are so dear to me. I will try to act in love with them at all times. I will make more batches of veggie soup. I will send more "just because" cards. I will think of them twice as much as I do now. I will tell them what they mean to me and support them in their endeavors.

I don't think that's to big a task -- especially for a Super Mommie.

Empowering Me.

I have stumbled across this new website that I absolutely love! It's Girly Gazette. It's a women empowerment blog. Hey, anything that helps empower me through the day gets an A++ in my book.

The launch page (because it just launched this week) has homework tasks. Oh how I love homework that involves writing. Why? Well, heck -- it's the same as talking but you write the words down instead.

Well, I've missed some assignments (my dog ate them - yeah, yeah, what dog? i know). I am a good student so, I plan on spending the next few days making up my homework (I sure hope I don't get in trouble!!). Then, I'll try to stay on track as much as I can.

=========================================================

Monday, March 1st: Challenge #1: What makes you feel fabulous?

A warm, sunny day where everything goes just right -- The shoes that I try on fit (and they are on sale!). Everything that I pick up at the farmer's market is fresh and sweet. The Princess is on her best royal behavior. And that book that I started reading is finally to the juicy part!!

=========================================================

Tuesday, March 2nd: Challenge #2: Who is your Tribe?

I have the worlds best tribe. I have what someone else dubbed, 'my council'. I have friends from 20 years ago and family (that I can't seem to get rid of - lol). They all understand who I am and allow me to be that person. They don't chastise me if I fall -- they lend a hand and pick me up. They let my quirky nature shine and help me sand all the rough places smooth.

=========================================================

Wednesday, March 3rd: Challenge #3: What is your gift?

That's easy - and no, it's not what you think. I have the gift of happiness. I have always been happy. I mean yes, I have sad times and times when I get angry. But it doesn't last long. I try to spread my happiness to others but some people don't want to be happy. They don't see happy as something they can be. I've been through enough rough stuff to know, no one can make you happy -- you make yourself happy.

=========================================================

Thursday, March 4th: Challenge #4: What makes you a Power Mom or Wonder Woman?

I would say that it's the cape I keep in my closet all the time but that's for another use. I'm a power mom because I love my job -- my first job; the one that doesn't pay in cash but hugs and kisses. The one that has loooong hours but the second you take a vacation, you want to go right back to the job. The one that is without hazard pay but maxes out in bonuses. The one that I didn't choose-it chose me. Thank God. Without this job, I'd be a poor, lost soul without a home. I love being mom to the Princess. I put it on top of my resume!

Tuesday Helpful Hints

I saw and heard about a few things today that really should not have happened. People, I don't want you to let these things happen again, ok?

--- I don't want you to get arrested in the middle of rush hour traffic with a red bandanna, blue sweatpants and 1 tennis shoe. I don't understand how you were driving with only 1 tennis shoe on. I wonder if that is part of the reason for the arrest.

--- I don't want you to change clothes while on the M@rt@ train. I know that the passengers pretend that it's ok, but they really are confused by this. But, if you are going to do this, I hope your bra and panties match. (thanks Tall girl for this one)

--- I'm not sure that you should be putting mascara on while driving. Yes, it's a stop light but ma'am, it's green and you are driving.

--- I'm not sending my child to you for tutoring if you misspell tutoring on your cardboard sign.

--- Don't name your kid Sad-e. I'm not opposed to the name, I am opposed to the spelling. (thanks Sister for this one)

--- Before attempting to lay blame at another person's feet, make sure that the person doesn't practice "ass coverage". It could result in YOU getting in waaaay more trouble than you originally were in (thanks to Emi No - but she doesn't know it yet)

--- Pick a color for your car. And, for the record, "primer" is not a color.

--- Going to the library isn't that hard. It's also not as painful as you make it out to be. But, ok, if you'd rather spend $25 on a book rather than read it for free because you don't have the "time" to order it on-line at 10am and then pick it up at the librarians desk at 5pm, you deserve to spend $25.

Is This What You Planned?

I just wrote the check and sealed the envelope on the forms for my high school reunion...my 20 year high school reunion.

It seems so long ago yet just a while back that I was in high school, my entire life ahead of me. Those giggling girls that I was friends with would be my friends forever and that football player that I dated, well he'd be the man that would walk me down the isle, or so it would seem.

The 5 year reunion wasn't even a thought. I had just left those people. I was a newly married woman in a different state (no, not the football player -- someone totally different). Who wanted to travel 600 miles for a weekend full of people just out of college? My 10 year reunion was missed as well. I was too busy dealing with life. At that time, it seemed that it was more than I could handle. I had a small baby and I didn't have time to compare life notes with anyone. I didn't go to the 15 year reunion either. I had just gotten a divorce and was still finding my way through the mess.

20 years? I'm ready. I have my footing. I feel right in my skin. It only took 18 years for me to discover who I am and what I want. I'm not afraid to go by myself or ask a friend to go with me. I enjoy my job and get paid pretty well for doing it. I have the world's most beautiful Princess and I am so proud of the job that I've done raising her. Yep, I'm ready - not because of what I've done or haven't done but because I understand who I am.

So many people worry about what they haven't done by now or what they should have done by now. When I was in high school I thought I'd be a teacher married with 6 kids. I'm not a teacher, I'm not married and only have 1 kid. What did I know back then? I thought that would make me happy. Nope, I've never been happier than I am now (except for that time the Princess and I made molten chocolate cake with real vanilla ice cream - I was pretty damned happy in that moment!).

I'm excited to see the girls and the pictures that tell the beginnings of our lives. I'm ready to show off who am I am and where I am. No, I'm not where I thought I'd be...I'm in a far better, happier place!


TOP TEN SONGS OF 1990

1990
December 23, 1989 - January 13, 1990:
Another Day In Paradise - Phil Collins
January 20 - February 9:
How Am I Supposed To Live Without You - Michael Bolton
February 10 - March 2:
Opposites Attract - Paula Abdul with The Wild Pair
March 3 - March 23:
Escapade - Janet Jackson
March 24 - April 6:
Black Velvet - Alannah Myles
April 7 - April 13:
Love Will Lead You Back - Taylor Dayne
April 14 - April 20:
I'll Be Your Everything - Tommy Page
April 21 - May 18:
Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Connor
May 19 - June 8:
Vogue - Madonna
June 9 - June 15:
Hold On - Wilson Phillips
June 16 - June 29:
It Must Have Been Love - Roxette
June 30 - July 21:
Step by Step - New Kids on the Block
July 21 - August 3:
She Ain't Worth It - Glenn Medeiros featuring Bobby Brown
August 4 - August 31:
Vision of Love - Mariah Carey
September 1 - September 7:
If Wishes Came True - Sweet Sensation
September 8 - September 14:
Blaze of Glory Jon - Bon Jovi
September 15 - September 29:
Release Me - Wilson Phillips
September 29 - October 5:
(I Can't Live Without Your) Love & Affection - Nelson
October 6 - October 12:
Close to You - Maxi Priest
October 13 - October 19:
Praying for Time - George Michael
October 20 - October 26:
I Don't Have the Heart - James Ingram
October 27 - November 2:
Black Cat - Janet Jackson
November 3 - November 9:
Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
November 10 - November 30:
Love Takes Time - Mariah Carey
December 1 - December 7:
I'm Your Baby Tonight - Whitney Houston
December 8, 1990 - January 4, 1991:
Because I Love You (The Postman Song) - Stevie B