Dear lady in line at the pu.bl.ix checkout,
I don't want to hear how painful your bikini wax was. And I really don't care if your boyfriend doesn't appreciate it. Please remember that when you talk on the cell phone, I can't hear your stupid friend's side of the conversation, but I sure can hear your ignorant side.
AND, you already knew that you didn't want the three things that you put back. Now the nice bag boy has to go put the ice cream, soda and cheese back.
Dear man that asked me to help you pick out cheese,
That is the worse pick up line I've ever heard and I've heard some doozies. If you can't pick out cheese, I can't help you. Look at my basket. I have things in my basket that you can't spell, let alone pronounce. And your dumb behind thinks that your lack of cheddar cheese knowledge will help? Ummm, no. Anyone vying for the position of "Companion to Super Mommie" will know what cheese to get and what wine goes with it.
And next time, please make sure your breath isn't funky when you talk to people.
What is with the cheese theme today?
Dear young lady in the light blue leggings and see through top,
I don't think you are a lady of the evening. I mean you don't appear to be one as you sit at the bus stop reading the latest copy of "()h " magazine. The weather is nice but you need a jacket on, especially with that purple see through top. No, we won't even discuss the fact that you don't match. If you aren't a lady of the evening, stop dressing like it. If you are a lady of the evening, then you need to wear high heels. You won't make extra money with tennis shoes on.
Dear really cute guy in the car next to me,
Do you always come to this intersection on Sunday afternoons? I saw you look over and smile. I smiled back. And then, the light turned green and we had to part ways. Parting really was sweet sorrow. You could have been "Companion to Super Mommie" --- well, do you know what wine goes with brie?