Let The Sports-athon Begin!

Today is the first day of the official football season. For most of you, it's the day you become football widows. For me, it's the start of sexy commentators in perfectly tailored suits talking about men running across a field wearing shiny, tight pants that shows off their super human strength and great arses.

Are you ready for some football?

In the time before cable my daddy would watch sports all weekend long. If it had two or more people or teams competing against each other, we were watching it, like it or not. Seriously, I've seen bowling on t.v.

Then high school came around and I became a water girl for our high school football team. I learned some of the mechanics but what I really learned was my love of the game. That wasn't the only game I watched. My best friend's father would watch baseball and I'd watch too. Back then the Braves weren't as hot as they are now. But I watched them anyway.

Last night I watched women's tennis. I don't remember the names of the ladies playing but the lady who had a baby 18 months ago won. It was a good match. I felt sorry for the other lady. Yep, I watched tennis.

Yeah, I know. You'd think I'd have dates out the wazoo. Nope! My ex didn't even like sports. Actually, I've dated more guys that never went to a sports bar than not. Sad.

But today it doesn't matter. Today at 12noon I'll watch the pregame show with my boys and then I'll watch some match ups all afternoon. I don't like beer so I'll have some wine with my beer nuts (popcorn). I'll yell at the t.v. and scream obscenities at the umpires.

It would be nice to have something to scratch though. You know, someone else's.

I Threw Up A Little In My Mouth

I did it! I took a picture of a zebra.

My daddy was in town and he wanted to go to all the tourist spots. That meant the zoo was on the list. I didn't panic until Daddy said, "Oh look, the zebras are over there." Then my hands started to sweat and I began to feel physically ill. The Princess took my hand and said, "Just take a picture mommie. Then you can run away."

So I did. I took the picture, from far, far away. Yes, I squeezed the life out of The Princesses' hand but she'll live. And then, I ran like a bat out of hell.

If you are asking why did I run from the zebras, then you are new to this blog. I have an irrational fear of zebras. I'm a zebraphobe (no, that's not a real phobia).

I am working on my fear though. My coworker said my first step was that I took a picture. My next step with be to pet one.

ROTFLMAO - Don't count on it!