The 80's are calling...they want their stuff back.

I can't do it. I lived in the 80's. I can't wear the clothes again!

Today I saw Michael Jackson high-water pants with white socks and black loafers; a sweater dress with leggings pantyhose and a side waist, sparkly belt; and forest green corduroy pants...on a man.

I understand. The 80's were great! Hell, I was the 80's! I wore the trends, from Madonna to Janet. I had florescent socks. I sprayed way more Aquanet than a black girl should. I had a hoop earring with a key dangling from it. Bangles? I bet I had more on my arms than you did! When VH1 shows "I love the 80's" I am all there! But I can't live the clothes again. I won't.

I did try on a cream pair of corduroy pants this weekend. I ran out of the dressing room screaming and had to be sedated. I purchased a muted green jacket -- muted, not lime. But that's it. That's as far as I will go.

But you...you go ahead and do what makes you happy. Let's just follow a few simple rules, ok?

1. Michael pulled off high-waters. I don't think you should try.

2. Corduroy pants are not meant for grown a$$ men. Boys under 10, fine. Grown men over 30, let's not.

3. Tights are thicker than pantyhose. If you can clearly see your skin beneath your tights, you have on pantyhose and you need to wear a dress/shirt that comes to your knees. I do not want to see your arse covered in thin hosiery.

4. Side ponytails are a no-no. No one looks good with one except the girl from Napoleon Dynamite and even that is questionable.

5. Stirrup pants? Really? Really?

Let's work together people. Let's honor the 80's the way that they should be honored...as a special time in our lives. Let's not bring it back in a tasteless, tacky way. Put down the excess lace and move away from the crimping iron. We caused the hole in the ozone with the hairspray. Let's not make the sun cry with the amount of purple eyeshadow we are wearing!

“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” Bertrand Russell

I spent the better part of the day blog surfing. Awesome way to waste a Sunday if I do say so myself. The Princess was working on her "What Do Bones Do," project so I had to be 'at the ready' to assist. She didn't need much help so I was able to happily glide from one blog to another. I enjoyed myself but I noticed some stuff.

1. Mommie blogs and food blogs must make up 99.99% of the blogosphere. Everywhere I turned there was another one. Some were cute, some were sweet but the best ones were total cut ups! They were moms and dads like myself, that don't waste time talking about our perfection. Instead they talk about the drama and the trials of being a parent. I must have added 20 blogs to my reader; I see those 72 books that I need to read, not getting read!

2. American bloggers in London or any other European city make my day. The ones that talk in depth about museums and restaurants are so wonderful! If people go into details about their day, using European locations as points of reference, I feel as if I'm really there! If they show you how to cook food from that country, I find it delightful. If they use both American and European measurements, I melt. It makes me feel as if I'm in the city that birthed me (ok, in my mind I'm from London. Sorry Louisiana).


3. Food bloggers make me hungrier than I already am. Food bloggers always take pretty pictures. It makes me want to drool. I added 15 things to my collection of "stuff I have to make right now". Sure, I'll only make 1 of those things ever, but it's nice to window shop.

4. Most bloggers pick a topic and stay there. There are a few like me, that cook and rant and talk about my really exciting life but most have decided on one thing... or they have more than one blog. Sorry, I just barely have time to talk to these 4 people. I can't talk to another 4 on a different blog!

Yeah, yeah...I could have read a book or gone outside and jogged or washed dishes but I decided not to. Instead I peeked into lives, added comments where I needed to but mostly laughed because almost everyone that blogs is the same -- they are people that don't think they are very funny but in reality they are hilarious.

Keep it up people. You help to make my Sunday shine!