This blog kills 2 birds with one stone. It answers the question of many (1) reader on why I haven't written about Mr. Vampiro in a while and it tells a funny story.
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I constantly have to explain to The Princess that you don't "put all of your business in the street". Just when I think she gets it, I realize she doesn't. It's probably because she's such an open and honest child (most of the time).
A few weeks ago my sister called my cell phone and we had something similar to this conversation...
sis: "So did you get your stuff?"
me: "What do you mean?"
sis: "Your stuff. Did you get all of your stuff from Mr. Vampiro's place?"
me: "Yeah. How did you know that's what I went to do?"
sis: "Cause when I called the house your kid said, 'My mommie went to go get her stuff back from Mr. Vampiro's house. She said she had some DVD's over there'."
me: "Really? She said that?"
sis: "Yep. So did you get the DVDs?"
me: "Yeah."
sis: "What about your toothpaste, toothbrush and deodorant? I notice you didn't mention that stuff to her."
me: "Yes, I got it and no, I didn't mention it to her cause she didn't need to know about that stuff."
sis: "Is it in a discreet bag? Cause I'd like to be at the house when she sees you bring it inside."
me: "I told her I was also gonna stop by the grocery store and I'm gonna bring the stuff in a grocery store bag, smart a$$".
sis: "So one lie to cover for the fact that her mom is a horny floozy?"
me: "I'm not a horny floozy! I just chose not to tell that part of the story to my kid. You want me to tell her about you and Mr. Deacon?"
sis: "Shut up and take your 'K.r.0-ger slash Pub-.blix' bag in the house."
And that, my dear readers, is what happened to Mr. Vampiro.
Tell the teenager the truf....
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