Stop Making God Mad!

Who in the hell pissed off God?! Seriously?! Who gave The Creator of all things, a headache? Apparently I need to find the sinner that pissed him off and bring that sinners head to him-- maybe on a silver tray, maybe in my bare hand with the nerves still dangling.

Perhaps then, once I bring Him this offering, He will allow the sun to come out and warm us poor bastards in the south! I woke up this morning and it was 23 degrees outside. Did you hear that? 23!!! It's been in the 20's for the past week! I've had to let my faucets drip each night (which is ANNOYING! - I have super sonic hearing!) and The Princess has dressed in record time so that she can get a ride to school. Standing at the bus stop is not even an option for her delicate soul.

It's not a secret that I do not like the cold, not one little bit. I live in Atlanta, so I tolerate it for the 4 - 7 days a year that we have cold weather, but this is ridiculous. I am seriously thinking of new WARM places to live. I'm sure I can find a job like mine in the tropics, right?

No, there's nothing more to the post. No cute quips, no prose or odes to winter, no witty repartee. I simply want to know who I must smite so that The Big G will let the sun come out and play.

And yes, unnamed sinner, I will smite you if it will bring the sun back.

Making A List And Checking It Twice

I love the holiday season. I can play Johnny Mathis christmas music and no one gets offended. People begin to make cookies and soups and cookies and hot chocolate and cookies and cakes and pies and cookies. What's not to love during this season?

Oh, that's right! I don't like shopping during the holdiay season. The stores are packed, the lines are five times as long, everyone is rude and it's cold outside! This year I'm going to shop from the comfort of my chair. This year I am going to powershop on the internet.

A friend of mine has been singing the praises of craigslist and another friend did ALL of her shopping by internet. I also had a friend that made all of her gifts. So this year, I'm going to do the same -- a little bit of all of them.

I'm going to make cookies for my co-workers (I love last years recipe), craigslist some big items (i need a dresser big time) and web browse all of The Princesses gifts. All her books, clothes and trinkets will come from on-line sources. I won't even step foot into stores for Christmas gifts (and only at 3am to do my grocery shopping!!).

So far, so good. I've ordered a magazine subscription, some books off amazon and a denium hat. Yes, the hat was free -- so what?! If I could get everything for free, I would!