Laughter Really Is The Best Medicine

I don't know if any of you have a teenager but if you do, you understand the craziness that is adolescence. If you do understand it, please send me a detailed manual because I have NO idea what the hell I'm doing.

Anywho, The Princess is in the full onset of adolescence and because I can't afford therapy (for myself, not the kid) I laugh to hide the pain. I try to find my laughs where I can get them. Sometimes a good Sandra Bullock movie works (If you haven't seen The Proposal, put your depends on cause you are gonna pee your pants!) and other times I put in The Original Kings of Comedy or an Eddie Izzard dvd (he is my favorite Brit comedian). But, other times, I just listen to my kid. Take last night for instance.

Paraphrased because who in the hell remembers what happened 12 hours ago? I went to sleep people!).

The Princess (timidly) : "Mommie. I need to tell you something."
Super Mommie (scared shitlessly): "Yes my darling. What is it?"

TP (Damn, I hate that 'The Princess' initials are TP - I'm gonna change it) : "At school today Bobby (not his real name) accidentally pulled my arm really hard and I said a cussing word."

SM (thanking God that it wasn't something more serious): "Oh, well honey, sometimes when we're in pain, bad words slip out of our mouth. You shouldn't do it often though because you can get in trouble. Did you get in trouble? Did a teacher hear you?"

My Princess: "No, only Bobby heard me."

SM: "Well, you don't want the teachers to think you always cuss like a sailor (Does she even know what the hell a sailor is? No, I don't think so. Mental note - Tell her what the 'eff' a sailor is)."

MP (Crap! Those initials suck too!): "Ok, I won't cuss".

SM: "Yeah, use other words to release your frustration. Like darn or shoot or ouch."

Super Princess: "Ok. Am I in trouble."

SM: "No sweetie. Of course not. Just try not to do it again. Ummm, by the way, what 'cussing word' did you say?"

SP (Those initials are waaaay better): "I said 'shit' ."

SM (That's my girl! Start off light. Use the big words for big situations): "Well, don't say it again."

You try not to laugh while having that conversation! I love the fact that she tells me everything most things. Will that last forever? No? Only the next three days? Oh well, I better enjoy it. Let me go watch the dance scene in The Proposal so I can laugh.

What The Hell Did You Do That For?

Let's play a game of "What The Hell Did You Do That For?" What is that? Well, it's a milder version of "WTF". For instance....

You saw me running for the elevator but you let the door close. You didn't even move to try to keep it open. I know. I saw you looking at me. It's a glass elevator. "What The Hell Did You Do That For?"

You didn't look back to make sure your flush worked, did you? Not even a brief glance? You just washed your hands and left huh? Well, your flush didn't completely work you nasty person. "What The Hell Did You Do That For?"

Those 6" platform high heels are not work appropriate. Well, they are work appropriate, if your job has a pole or a street corner close by. Wearing them to your job at an upscale downtown office building? "What The Hell Did You Do That For?"

I told you that I bought that cake in the fridge for a special occasion at work and yet, you ate took a slice of it! "What The Hell Did You Do That For?"
(from TP - thanks!)

You canceled the meeting but forgot to tell everyone. People were left "sat sitting" in that cold arse room for 20 minutes because you didn't send an email, or a text or a message in a freekin' bottle! "What The Hell Did You Do That For?"

The meeting is tomorrow morning at 9am. Is there a reason that you just sent me 16 long documents to print? It's 4:30pm! I leave work at 5:00pm! The company won't let me take overtime because they don't want to pay for it. What's your solution brainiac? "What The Hell Did You Do That For?"

(Deep sigh).