Enjoy The Journey

HOW I can

2011-05-03T12:34:00.000-04:00

picture from: thesaleslion.com

I went to a writing class a few weekends ago and the facilitator asked a deep question (well, it was deep to me anyway). She asked, "What would you have accomplished if writing was your full time job?"

Well at first I said (to myself), "Duh! I'd have several books completed and I'd be touring right now."

Then she elaborated. She asked what personal accomplishments would be under your belt? What things would you be doing as a part of your normal day? Would you be taking yoga each morning before you wrote? Would you spend every third Wednesday manning the phones at the support center? Would you be taking those cooking classes that you keep talking about?

It seems we always plan the activities for "when we get there" (wherever "there" is). When we get the better job. When we've saved a few more dollars. When little Johnnie and Susie graduate high school. There are so many thing that we can do NOW that we put off until "the time is right". Why aren't you doing those things now? Is it money? Time? Energy? Really think about it and figure out why you aren't doing those things.

Pick something -- that one thing that you really want to do. It can be big or small, that doesn't matter. Now that you are thinking about that thing, can you do it? Really, take away the excuses and figure out HOW you can. Don't think about the "why you can't". Only think about the "HOW I can".

I'll let you in on a little secret. Going to that class was a HOW I can. Moneywise, timewise, energywise and just plain "worthywize" I couldn't see how in the world I could fit some writing classes into my life. Once I decided to do it, it was easy.

I found a writing group a little bit outside of where I live. It's not a formal group. Some meetings it's twenty people. Some meetings its four. Sometimes there's a formal presentation with a guest and finger sandwiches. Sometimes there a copied, copy of a copy that you read on your own and you ask for a breath mint from the person next to you. The ladies aren't "formal" writers (there has been a guy there twice). Each of them writes in their own time, at their own pace. They will critique your work if you'd like or they'd just smile at you as you come in and leave. You can talk during the meeting if you want or just keep to yourself. There are older members and there are really young members. There's one young lady that's 16 in the group. She's written and published 2 books. The oldest member is publishing her first book this summer. It's a "just as you are" group and it's wonderful.

So far I've been to a few meetings. Each time we pay $5 in dues. They told me that they've never had a big time speaker of their own but they have traveled together to see big time speakers. I've only been there for one formal speaker but I traveled with them to a workshop just outside of Atlanta.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I received an email last night from one of the members. She told us that she was moving from her home and going to stay with a friend in NYC. She had found an agent there and was going to work part time during the day and offer workshops in the evenings and Saturday's. She already has workshops booked for June, July and August.

I was jealous. I really was. Why wasn't it me sending that email? Well, except the part about NYC. I don't want to live there. It gets too cold in the winter. The "It shoulda been me" song (my fave version) went through my head and I got a little sad. But, I kept a stiff upper lip and sent an email back telling her how happy I was for her and I wished her the best. She emailed me back and told me that she expected me to send the same note as soon as I started using my "HOW I can"s.

Lissa, I'm going to start using my HOW I can right now. Save me a spot on the workshop roster for next summer!

Dear Thief (part three)

2011-04-26T11:05:00.000-04:00

Sigh. Life for me is never dull or boring. Most of the time it's down right funny (well you know, later, after the pain subsides). It's a thrill a minute for me.

If you don't remember the Dear Thief chronicles, take a second to (re)acquaint yourselves.

Dear Thief part 1

Dear Thief part 2

Today's hilarious tale begins with the fact that my bedroom gets a little warm in the evenings (and no, not from any hot action or anything). I have three, large windows in my room that let in beautiful sunlight and also warmth. By 4pm in the afternoon it's super warm and I need to circulate some air around.

So, I decided to have some ceiling fans put up. When I first moved into the apartment, management told me that the maintenance guy could handle stuff like that for me...for a small fee. Cool. I told management to have him call me.

Long story made short, the mainenance guy contacted me and said he'd put up the fans for $30 total. That's pretty sweet! I'd made some calls and gotten much higher fees. So, this morning dude called me to let me know he'd be putting up the fans for me today. I said great. He asked if he could swing past later to pick up payment. I said of course. I get home about 7pm. I asked him if I needed to meet him somewhere.

He said, "Nope. I'll just come down. I live upstairs in 1130."

Son-of-a-biscuit-eater! You mean "the man" has been stealing power?! You've been working for the complex the whole time? What the hell?!

Sigh (again).
I sure do need one of those "SYWM" t-shirts right about now (and an adult slushee)! That takes the cake!!

But, it fits right in with the rest of my life, I suppose.

ps - I'd love to sport a "SYWM" t-shirt but where in the hell would I? Maybe Aunt Becky can make buttons instead? Pencils? An ink pen? That's a free idea Auntie B. I won't even charge you!

A Little Talk With Jesus ('s Dad)

2011-04-07T18:36:00.000-04:00

photo credit - kirklanddentistry.com

SuperMommie: (from the dental chair earlier today) "God, do you have a minute?"

God: "Sure I do. Shoot."

SM: "Well Sir, I'm sitting here in this dentist chair..."

God: "Yesss. I can see that."

SM: "Well, this nice doctor man has been trying to get this root out of my tooth and it's starting to hurt. It's been an hour and a half already and you know he tried to do the same thing a few weeks ago and he had to stop."

God: "I recall that. I WAS there as well."

SM: "Well, yes, Sir. I'm not doubting that. I was just wondering if you can fix it so that he can get the rest of the root out and close up the wound."

God: "Why hurry? Don't you want him to do a good job?"

SM: "Of course, Sir, Your Supremeness, I just would like to feel less pain."

God: "First of all, oh favorite child of mine, I recognize sarcasm. Cut the Sir crap."

SM: "Yes Sir, I mean ummm, Dad."

God: "That's better. Now, I don't always take pain away like that. Just ask Jesus."

SM: "Oh, right. That's true. But can I have a small exemption from pain?"

God: "A small exemption from pain? Really? Remember last week when you almost cut your finger tip off... again?"

SM: "Oh, yes..."

God: "And remember how the car 2 cars behind you got into an accident and not you?"

SM: "Last week. I remember. Was that meant for me?"

God: "Maybe. Maybe it's just part of my guilt for you".

SM: "I thought you let Grammie pass out the guilt."

God: "I dole it out every now and then. Remember all that crap you ate last week and I didn't add any more weight onto your oh so petite frame?"

SM: (under my breath) "Talk about sarcasm."

God: "I can hear you. Anywho, I take care of the things that REALLY need to be taken care of. Trust me, this pain is nothing. This nice doctor man is good at what he does. Just relax. I'll make the pain pills work really well later. I won't let it hurt in the middle of the night when you are in the middle of a naughty dream."

SM: (smiling - kinda - I'm in the dentist chair) "Oh, thanks you know about the pills and the dream. That's nice to know."

God: "And, I have a surprise for you. You know that thing you keep wishing for and praying for? Well, I'll go ahead and give it to you!"

SM: (frantically) "Which thing? How soon?"

God: (voice muffled) "I'm talking to SuperMommie right now. Oh, he is? I need to talk to him. Look SuperMommie I gotta go."

SM: "Wait, God, Sir, please, which thing and how soon?"

God: "Patience my child. The big thing and soon. I've gotta run. Go With God My Child."

SM: (thinking God hung up cause he gave his sign off) "Crap! Which effin thing and how effin soon?"

God: "I heard that and not as effing soon as you'd like."

SM: "Damn it!"

Dear Thief (part two)

2011-04-04T16:08:00.000-04:00

So perhaps you read Dear Thief before it became part one. Well, the jackarse not only defied belief by reattaching the cord out the window, but they nailed it along the wall so you couldn't see it. If I hadn't been spying on the people out front I never would have seen it!!

Let me tell you, this time I was pissed off! You are BLATANTLY trying to rip off this system. So... I called the power company directly.

PowerLady: "Restitution Department." (I am not lying. That's the name of the department).

Supermommie: "Um hi (whispering). I need to report someone that I think, no, I mean I'm pretty sure that they are stealing power."

PowerLady: "Are you standing outside, because if you aren't, you don't have to whisper."

SuperMommie: "Oh, right, sorry."

So I tell her my story and you know what they told me? They have already been out to the complex.

SM: "So I'm not the first person to report this?"

PL: "You aren't even the second."

SM: "Get out of town! So y'all are gonna come back out, right?"

PL: "Yes ma'am we are. We take theft of power very seriously."

SM: "I do too," I said smiling. Then I remembered something very important.

SM: "Hey, I can remain anonymous right?"

PL: "Yes ma'am, you can."

SM: "Am I still illegible for a reward?"

PL: "There isn't a reward."

SM: "Oh, ok."

So I've officially become a snitch and you know what? I don't give a rat's ass! I just plopped down over $100 last month AND my water bill just went up by $11. I'm a single super mommie. I don't have extra money hanging around.

As I have stated once before...if I gotta pay for power, you gotta pay for power.

I still don't understand why there isn't a reward!

Dear Thief...

2011-03-31T12:28:00.000-04:00

Dear Jackarse In Apartment 1130,

Yes, I told on you. I told on you long and hard and I LOVED it! You wanna steal? Do it somewhere else buddy! If I gotta pay for power, so do effin you!
==================================================

So last week I was off work cleaning up the old hacienda. I had picked up some new pillows and I was spring cleaning the hell outta the place. I went to open the curtains and let some of the beautiful rays of sun in when I noticed an orange cord dangling past my bedroom window.

That's not right! So, I decided to take out my trash (as a ruse for seeing what was going on). You see, our complex has valet trash (hell yeah!) and I don't have to walk my fat bee-hind to the trash dump. It's a nice perk I think others think it's pure-d-lazy. I say, so what?!

Anywho, that day I did and on the way back I realize the cord is coming from apartment 1130.

Well, I called the front office and they sent the maintenance team (two guys in a golf cart) to look at it. They surveyed the area, decided that yes, the folks were stealing power and they unplugged the cord. I guess they musta talked to them too cause the cord was gone when I got back from shopping.

So I go along my merry way spreading joy and happiness everywhere I went and then wham! Sonofabiscuteater! Guess what I saw when I pulled in my "un-assigned but chosen by me" parking space?! They had hooked a YELLOW cord to the same box and had it hanging from the front window.

So... back to my letter.
==================================================

So people in 1130, do you think I'm stupid? It doesn't matter the color! An ORANGE, RED, YELLOW or BLUE cord dangling from the window plugged into the power grid must mean you are stealing power!

Just so you know -- I will call the front office every damned time I see the cord. No, I'm not mean but I'm struggling to make ends meet just the same as you. Every time the power people send me a bill I scream and cuss same as everyone else. But, I pay it and in return for paying it, the nice people at the power place let me have another month's worth of power.

Try it you thief!

I know it sounds harsh but I gotta pay so you gotta pay too! I have no tolerance for people that cheat the system and then I have to pay for your thievery. I've seen that big monstrosity of a truck you drive everyday. Your rims cost more than my car! Sell the rims and pay for power.

If you will steal power, do I need to watch out for my valet trash bin? Are you gonna steal that too? What about my front door mat? Must I tape it down?

I believe my fave Sting song is appropriate here -

Every breath you take, Every move you make, Every bond you break, I'll be watching you.
Signed,

PISSED off neighbor in 1110.

(climbs off the horse).

** hell no, that's not the real apartment number. Do you think I'd really tell you where I live?!

Tiara Troubles: BFs and BFFs

2011-03-15T16:44:00.001-04:00

photo credit: leehansen.com

I'm gonna start a little segment called "Tiara Troubles". It's going to be all about the trials and tribulations of teenage princesses -- the ups and downs and inbetweens of middle school and high school royalty. Parents of teen girls, lend me your ears.

Why in the "h" didn't you tell me about this craziness! I spent a great deal of time this weekend listening to the sobs and wiping away the tears of a girl (STILL) infatuated with a summer camp crush and dissed by a crappy BFF.

Her crush this past summer, well, he was an older boy (like mother/like daughter). He was a rising 9th grader and she was a rising 8th grader. Over the summer she mooned over the boy and I had to hear about it every single day. I met the boy the third week of camp. I had the opportunity to speak with him and his dad, just casual like. After the conversation, I didn't have the heart to tell her that he has no interest in her whatsoever. He treated her just like any 9th grader would treat an 8th grader that has a crush on him. He was polite. He looked after her --- like a little sister.

That mess is gonna hurt like crazy when she finds out. More tears. Crap. Add facial tissue to the grocery list.

And the crappy BFF? Well, she was a kid that lied a lot and treated all of her "friends" pretty rotten. First time I met her, I knew she was going to be trouble. But, kids have to figure these things out for themselves sometimes. I told The Princess this in August but when did it hit her? March. The kid got upset because The Princess gets to go on the 8th grade field trip and she doesn't. So, she called The Princess some pretty bad names. The Princess ignored her and then ignored all her weekend texts -- except the one on Sunday night that said, "You are a bad friend. I don't want to be friends any more."

So Sunday night there were tears at 11:30pm, tears and snot at 1:30am, and tears, snot and swollen eyes and nose at 3:30am. And, she woke me up each time. What a way to start daylight savings time -- with the loss of more than an hour of sleep!

But she got through it just fine. She deleted the girl's info from her cell phone and when the girl tried to be friends with her on the bus Monday morning, she said no thanks and began reading her book. So, I asked her about all the tears and she says she's over it now. She realizes that the crappy BFF was just that, a crappy BFF.

Thank God, cause a Super Mommie's gotta get her beauty sleep! I mean, she's so beautiful she doesn't need much, but she does need some.

At least until the next teen meltdown.

That will probably occur this Sunday at 11:47pm.

A Dental PSA

2011-03-10T14:34:00.001-05:00

My mouth is jacked up! Did I mention that I have a boat load of dental appointments coming up? You don't even want to know how much work I need to have done over the next year (gotta string it out to pay for it all). I have so much work that needs to be done, the dentist had her kid's private school send me the bill for this quarter. I asked her if one of the chairs in the waiting room could be my own personal chair. She said for what I'm paying I can have 3 chairs.

But I digress. The reason for today's post was because of a conversation I overheard while waiting to pay for getting molar 7, bicuspid 2 drilled and roots pulled (ok, perhaps that was not the tooth number, but it might have been). The lady in front of me had to have some major dental work done (more major than me - imagine that) and she had just found out that she had crap insurance.

No, I don't mean she had insurance that only paid 70% or 50% or even some wacky deductible. I mean she had been paying high insurance premiums only to find out that it only deducted 20% off of cleanings and 15% off of everything else. 15% off of a root canal is still like $8972, right?

She broke down right at the cashiers desk. I wanted to cry right along with her. That's some serious crapola. She cried about having to pay almost $200 a month only to discover that she could have just saved the money and paid for the procedures herself. She's right.

They offered to put her on a payment plan and once half of each procedure was paid, she could begin work. She agreed to that and then left the office. I asked Kimmy (no, I have no idea if that's her name but she looks like a Kimmy) how often she heard stories like that. She calmly said, at least once a day.

I dropped the cute little dentist pen (that I was planning on putting in my purse) on the floor.

ME: "Are you kiddin' me?"

KIMMY: "Nope."

ME: "Are you exaggerating?"

KIMMY: "Not even in the slightest."

Apparently tons of people pay into what they think is good dental insurance only to find out that they are actually part of a dental savings plan. And, Kimmy pointed out to me, while a few of the dental savings plans are pretty decent, most are crap.

KIMMY: "People don't know until they come in for something major that they have been paying into something that's not worth it."

ME: "But what about when they come in for cleanings and stuff?"

KIMMY: "People don't realize they are paying full price for a cleaning. I try to help them out but..."

Kimmy does seem to be a nice lady. She does try to help.

So what am I babbling on about? Well I'll tell you. I'm going to present a dental PSA. I hate when people try to get one over on other people. Read my words people and go tell the masses!

DO I HAVE CRAP DENTAL INSURANCE?
First step, find out what your insurance premium is. You can look on your pay stub and it will tell you what you pay for dental insurance. Or, if you pay for a dental savings plan, you can tally up what you pay into the plan each month/quarter.

Second step, call your dentist and find out what the cost of a regular cleaning is and the cost of a filling and a root canal. Cleanings aren't as expensive as you think. You may be paying big bucks into the system and not getting your money's worth out of it.

Final step, find out what the cost is with your insurance plan. The lovely folks at your dentist's office will let you know if you have great insurance, good insurance or shit insurance (sorry about letting one slip).

Sorry for the rant but I felt so bad for the lady in the dental office. I don't want you to be the lady in the dentists office. Know what you are paying for people!

PS - Kimmy said I could have then pen.

All The Pretty Little Things

2011-03-01T21:36:00.001-05:00

I haven't written a word today. I need to write a love scene and my inner sexy has taken a break. She'll be back soon and I'll write it then.

Instead, I'm sitting at my desk pulling out my hair, strand by strand, wondering how long it will take me to go bald. It's. just. that. boring. today.

So, I clicked some links on the webbie-poo and thought I'd let you share in the fruits of my boredom.

This is awesome. I want one! - pencil

I would gain 20lbs making crepes all day - crepe pan

Looking at dressers today. Love it. Gotta find a sponsor to buy it for me - dresser

In my head I'm half British. Sites like this one cement it for me. - Go British

I think The Princess NEEDS these! - straws

My work husband makes this cake the best (I tried and it didn't turn out right). This recipe is sooooo good. Make it! - pound cake

Soft, sexy lips. Super, soft, sexy lips- lip shimmer

The smartest thing every made! brownie

Just darling. I wouldn't mind drinking tea from this - tea cup

Do not eat this sweet treat. How cute! - treat

Enjoy.

But The GPS Said To Turn Left!!

2011-02-11T11:38:00.000-05:00

My original reason for blogging was just to talk. I wanted to have a voice and say something. Sometimes it would be funny (if only in my head) and sometimes it would be serious. Blogging was my only platform. It was my only platform because I didn't take the time to sit down, weave the words together into chapters and the chapters into books. Blogging for me, was easier and quicker and didn't require book cover art. Blogging allowed me to hide instead of yell out who I am. I practiced safe blogging so that no one could critique what I wrote. I changed names to protect the innocent (well, mainly to protect me). And that worked very well for quite some time.

Then I started to write books. I sat down, put yarn on the loom and began to write all kinds of gooey, goopy, hot and steamy words. And when I had written a lot of words I wrote THE END and put it on the shelf. Then, I started another group of words, even steamier than the first. This one will be one that I will force the world to read. Yep, I'm going to club people over the head and force them to read love stories.

Which brings me to my prior hiatus.

Writing and blogging at the same time can be difficult. You want to do your best with both things. You feel guilty about not blogging because you were writing and then you feel guilty because you took time away from writing to blog. And Lord help you if you take time away from either to have a life outside. You feel guilty all the way around and you poor people miss out, you know, all three of you.

Since blogging can be an ugly mistress, I am going to try to do better with my blogging. I'm going to attempt to spend more time with her, tell her how pretty she is and buy her nice things (like better clip art and stuff). But I am going to ask her to change just a little bit. You know, the way you tell your boyfriend that you love him just the way he is and then grumble once you're married and tell him to pick up his own damned underwear -- the same underwear you've picked up for 4 years.

I'm going to include more about writing and how it affects my life. Yes, I'll still mention the light hearted randomness that goes on in my life. I hope you find it just as enjoyable 'cause I'll be just as snarky but in a more focused direction.

Well, maybe. Once can never really tell, can you?

Stop Making God Mad!

2010-12-09T14:27:00.000-05:00

Who in the hell pissed off God?! Seriously?! Who gave The Creator of all things, a headache? Apparently I need to find the sinner that pissed him off and bring that sinners head to him-- maybe on a silver tray, maybe in my bare hand with the nerves still dangling.

Perhaps then, once I bring Him this offering, He will allow the sun to come out and warm us poor bastards in the south! I woke up this morning and it was 23 degrees outside. Did you hear that? 23!!! It's been in the 20's for the past week! I've had to let my faucets drip each night (which is ANNOYING! - I have super sonic hearing!) and The Princess has dressed in record time so that she can get a ride to school. Standing at the bus stop is not even an option for her delicate soul.

It's not a secret that I do not like the cold, not one little bit. I live in Atlanta, so I tolerate it for the 4 - 7 days a year that we have cold weather, but this is ridiculous. I am seriously thinking of new WARM places to live. I'm sure I can find a job like mine in the tropics, right?

No, there's nothing more to the post. No cute quips, no prose or odes to winter, no witty repartee. I simply want to know who I must smite so that The Big G will let the sun come out and play.

And yes, unnamed sinner, I will smite you if it will bring the sun back.

Making A List And Checking It Twice

2010-11-17T09:39:00.000-05:00

I love the holiday season. I can play Johnny Mathis christmas music and no one gets offended. People begin to make cookies and soups and cookies and hot chocolate and cookies and cakes and pies and cookies. What's not to love during this season?

Oh, that's right! I don't like shopping during the holdiay season. The stores are packed, the lines are five times as long, everyone is rude and it's cold outside! This year I'm going to shop from the comfort of my chair. This year I am going to powershop on the internet.

A friend of mine has been singing the praises of craigslist and another friend did ALL of her shopping by internet. I also had a friend that made all of her gifts. So this year, I'm going to do the same -- a little bit of all of them.

I'm going to make cookies for my co-workers (I love last years recipe), craigslist some big items (i need a dresser big time) and web browse all of The Princesses gifts. All her books, clothes and trinkets will come from on-line sources. I won't even step foot into stores for Christmas gifts (and only at 3am to do my grocery shopping!!).

So far, so good. I've ordered a magazine subscription, some books off amazon and a denium hat. Yes, the hat was free -- so what?! If I could get everything for free, I would!

75. Move somewhere super duper fabulous.

2010-11-02T10:00:00.000-04:00

I moooooved! Hallelujah!

Let me tell you, the old place had just gotten crazy. It was time to move on to greener pastures. So, I hitched up my wagon and moved exactly 1.5 miles east. Yep, that was far.

The move went without any major glitches. My moving company moved the big stuff (BIG-HUGE shout out to 2 Men and a Truck, the Decatur location. Those guys rock!!!) And, la familia moved the little stuff...a lot of little stuff! I have to give a big shout out to The Sister, The Sister's Friend and The Arteest for helping out big time. The Princess worked her little tail off too. High Five Girlie!

Oh! And Spy Grandma saw me moving. She wanted a hug! (Screams loudly in her head). I went right in the house and took a shower! I bet she put a tracking chip on my back. I wouldn't be surprised if I saw her at the new place (I'd probably pee my pants but I wouldn't be surprised).

Long story short, everything is great. There are a few annoyances that will work themselves out soon. Like --I have to wear an eye mask at night cause the street light shines in my south bedroom windows and I haven't hung the "black out" curtains yet; I have to be careful hanging curtains because I get charged for every nail hole in the wall at the end of my lease; I can't make eggs because I can't find my frying pan; I ran out of shelf paper and have to get some more before I could put up my spices and seasonings; I haven't been able to cook a real meal in a week and I am having cooking withdrawls; And, my land line (yes, I have one) doesn't

have all the feature working yet, BUT...

I sat on my patio Sunday night sipping wine and watching airplanes go by; I have a ~~garden~~ forest tub in my spacious bathroom with walk-in-closet; the morning light from the east window is soooo beautiful; My kitchen has plenty of cabinets and a pantry (!); My rental office is open when they say they will be open (9am - 6pm) and they will stay a few minutes later if need be; Paying your rent on line is FREE; The Princess L-O-V-E-S her room and ajoining bathroom; I have trash valet service (yep, I know!); and the cable people gave me free HBO for a year!

It's great. This weekend, I'll hang my pear pictures and my curtains. Anyone got any 3M curtain hanging ideas? So far I got PVC pipe and some 3M command strips.

What's In Your Casket?

2010-10-25T16:56:00.000-04:00

I'm ~~stealing~~ borrowing a blog topic today. CG spoke a few weeks back on Tony Curtis and what he had placed in his casket when he died. I'm not big on the whole casket thing cause honestly, I want The Princess to have science people come pick up my body and in a year bring her back some ashes or something. When I go to the great Farmers Market in the sky, I don't want a funeral. No, no - don't send flowers. I can't smell them - you shoulda sent them while I was alive. Don't call to pay your respects - you shouldn't visited when I was alive. Ask me to lunch now, while I'm alive. I don't want singing or crying or anything but eating.

Yep, I want The Princess and anyone else that she decided to go to the Olive Garden and eat from the never-ending pasta bowl, soup and salad. Then I want her to go out for ice cream. AND, go watch Gone With The Wind (she can break it up into a weekend of activities if she wishes).

I don't want her spending thousands of dollars on a box that's gonna get dirty. I'd rather have future doctors look at parts of my body and go,

"Wow, those are some jacked up eyes! Good Lord how did she see?".

"Doesn't matter. Did you see her feet? They are really pretty!"

"Yeah but she couldn't see her feet. She didn't get to enjoy how pretty they were."

"That's okay. Every summer the world got to."

Yep, that's what the future doctors will say. And then they will giggle and listed to what the professor is saying.

BUT...if I did do caskets, I'd a good book with me. I don't know how long the wait is gonna be.

Fenks

2010-10-20T22:15:00.000-04:00

You see that blog roll on the right side over there? Take a look at the one that says Sarcastically Yours. Yep, that one. That's the Tall Girl. I've known her for many years now. She gave me a gift today! She gave me my first housewarming gift! Two pictures; two big pictures; two big, nice pictures; two, big, nice pictures to go in my Salon de formale (3' X 3' dining room).

Her gift really got my creative juices flowing. I mean anytime you move into a new place, you get the opportunity to do something new, different, start fresh. I decided to change the color of my table to match the base color of the pictures and to add pears to the design of my Salon de formale. I'm going to stain the table.

Thanks Tall Girl.

Thanks for helping me spend more money that I don't have anyway!

I did it!!!

2010-10-19T16:31:00.000-04:00

I know. I've been a horrible blogger.

But, guess what?!

I did it!

I finished #10.

I completed the first draft of my book!!

I'm doing the editing process now. And in two weeks I turn it over to my official editor and start on the next one.

Yeah!

Does that make up for me being a horrible blogger?

I thought it did!

What are you doing next month? I'm gonna write another book! Wanna know how?

http://www.nanowrimo.org/

Mid Year Assessment

2010-09-17T22:05:00.004-04:00

At work I am preparing for my mid year assessment. That's where you, your boss and perhaps someone else that might be a reporting supervisor or team member or something else that has stuff to say about you, sit down and talk about the good, bad and ugly so far for the year. Also, you have to plan for how to complete the goals that you set December 2009 by December 2010.

Okay, I'll bite. Here's my 2010 mid year blog assessment.

1. It's September and I'm doing my mid year assessment. Need anything else on that? Nope? Didn't think so. I give myself a B considering I didn't even think to do a "self" self assessment in June or July.

2. I worked on my 101 in 1001 a little bit. Could I have done better? You bet your sweet patootie. Am I ashamed of what I've done so far? Nope! What can I do to prepare for December 2010? Finish some of the damned list - duh! I'm at 28%, I should be able to get to 35% by then. I give myself a B-.

3. Commenting on other Blogs - Well commenting on new blogs? D. Commenting on my blogger buddies blogs? B. What can I do better? Well I guess surf the net and find new blogs. Not sure that I have that kinda time though. We'll see.

4. Blog Content - Well, I think I'm funny. Even if YOU don't think I am, I think I am (how do you capitalize a capital I? Like that sentence for instance. I capped the YOU but you can't tell that I capped the I. Ponder that, will you?). Oh, and I've begun adding pictures to almost every post. That's pretty good, right? I give myself a B. I may not blog often but the stuff that I blog about is quality. Really, well kinda, but I give myself a B anyway. What can I do to improve? Well, my first order of business is to find out how to do that hover think where when you hover over a word or phrase you can see that the blog author wrote something really snarky or insightful. I'm gonna ask CG if she can help with this. And perhaps I can steal a more exciting life. Then I'd have 'funner' things to talk about.

5. Blog Look - I tried to change the color and stuff a few weeks ago. Then I got bored and stopped. I added a twitter feed. Doesn't that count? No. Okay. I give myself a C. I'll change the color or something later.

Much like my work assessment, I give up after 5. I can't think that hard and still stay awake. At work I wrote 5 reasonably reachable goals and the boss man gave me another one. Feel free to give me a 6th one bloggie friends. Not sayin I'm gonna do anything with it, but fire away.

Oh, yeah, are we getting blog-raises this year? Is it too soon to ask about it? Okay, just wondering.

Dear Summer,

2010-09-16T10:27:00.006-04:00

Dear Summer,

SM is not happy right now. No, no. It's not you, it's me. We have had such a great time together. Remember those times I painted my toes and wore sandals? And remember that time you were all sunshiny and we shared frozen drinks together? Oh! And those times that we'd eat outside together? Boy, those times were great!

I looked at the calendar last night and you know what I saw? September 23. Do you know what that is? The first day of Autumn.

Yeah, I know. That means that really soon we're gonna have to break up for a little while. I don't know if you and Autumn are friends but she and I are only lukewarm. I don't really like her all that much. She's kind of cool towards me. She acts like you, but then she gets cool and I have to get a sweater. Then she gets warm again. She's too wishy-washy for me.

I also don't like her that much because after she comes along then Winter comes. Winter is on my sh*#t list. I can't stand her arse! She's all cold and frosty, like she's better that folks! I gotta put on extra clothes just to hang around her! And, she doesn't like my sandals or my tank tops. And, get this, she looks all sunshiny from the inside then you go outside and she's cold! I know. What kinda mess is that?

Oh, now Spring is okay. You know, her right? She gets warm but she brings these things that make me sneeze and stuff. I don't really like that but she tries to be friends. She really does. So, I tolerate her.

And then you come back to me and everything is right with the world. Yeah, I kinda have a crush on you. No, I don't want you to feel odd about it. I want you to embrace it. I do. I will yell to the world that I like you. I hope you like me back.

Well, since I know you are going away, I made you something. Yep! It's a photo album of our times together. It will keep us both warm while Autumn and Winter are here. Have fun while you're in Australia. Send me a postcard. I'll be thinking of you!

Yours,

It's Not You, It's Me.

2010-09-13T08:57:00.004-04:00

I'll give you a sneak peek into my life.

You should be honored. I don't show people my soul very often.

It's explains my neglect of blogging (kinda).

I've been writing.

A book.

A cheesy, fluffy romance novel that you can read in 3 hours.

It's not life changing (well, it is for me).

It's not a wow, epiphany moment.

It's just girl meets boy, they decide they like each other, they 'do it' (cue fireworks), they meet families, they 'do it' some more (cue more fireworks), there's some fake complication, it gets worked out and then they get engaged.

55,000 words of fluffy goodness. Almost like a fluffernutter sandwich.

And when I'm done, well I'm not sure what I'll do, except probably write another one, and then another one, and then one day it's what I'll do all the time.

Sitting on my sunny patio, with my laptop and a mocho-choco-latte-ya-ya, typing out a romance to be sappier than all other romances -- that's what I want to do when I grow up.

It's what my passion is -- to write fluff. I want to give the world 3 - 6 hours of gooey, warm goodness and then let it go on it's way. You see, anyone that knows me knows that I'm all happy happy. I don't even like to watch sad movies (so no Tall Girl, I did not watch The N0teb00k. I gave it back).

So that's what I've been doing and why I've been so neglectful. Hopefully you can understand. And if you can't understand, then I understand.

Well, no, not really. If you don't understand, then I totally don't understand. But it's okay.

It's not right, but it's okay. I'm gonna do it anyway.

Let The Sports-athon Begin!

2010-09-12T08:32:00.005-04:00

Today is the first day of the official football season. For most of you, it's the day you become football widows. For me, it's the start of sexy commentators in perfectly tailored suits talking about men running across a field wearing shiny, tight pants that shows off their super human strength and great arses.

Are you ready for some football?

In the time before cable my daddy would watch sports all weekend long. If it had two or more people or teams competing against each other, we were watching it, like it or not. Seriously, I've seen bowling on t.v.

Then high school came around and I became a water girl for our high school football team. I learned some of the mechanics but what I really learned was my love of the game. That wasn't the only game I watched. My best friend's father would watch baseball and I'd watch too. Back then the Braves weren't as hot as they are now. But I watched them anyway.

Last night I watched women's tennis. I don't remember the names of the ladies playing but the lady who had a baby 18 months ago won. It was a good match. I felt sorry for the other lady. Yep, I watched tennis.

Yeah, I know. You'd think I'd have dates out the wazoo. Nope! My ex didn't even like sports. Actually, I've dated more guys that never went to a sports bar than not. Sad.

But today it doesn't matter. Today at 12noon I'll watch the pregame show with my boys and then I'll watch some match ups all afternoon. I don't like beer so I'll have some wine with my beer nuts (popcorn). I'll yell at the t.v. and scream obscenities at the umpires.

It would be nice to have something to scratch though. You know, someone else's.

This Much I Do Know...

2010-09-05T20:00:00.005-04:00

I was reading wholelivingmagazine and the last page has an article titled "the whole truth". It's a bunch of thought provoking questions asked to Rosannecash. I saw the questions and thought they were pretty good. So, since I'm really famous too, I thought I'd answer them here.

AND because I'm crazy like that, I added one or two really good questions that I've seen over the years.

If I could say one thing to myself 20 years ago...Good God the ride is gonna be interesting. Always remember, there's a reason for everything AND what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

The lesson I keep learning over and over...the scorpion and the frog. No matter the situation, that lesson almost always applies.

Prized Possession...I know, you think I'd say The Princess but she isn't mine. She is only at my house on loan. In a few years she'll belong to the world and make it a better place for having known her. No, my most prized possession is a box of birthday cards that I keep. Some of them are from the Princess, some are from friends and family. All of them are funny, sweet and make me cry.

My mom was right about...Some kids at school teased me about the clothes I was wearing. I thought they were comfortable and I liked them. Mommie told me that it didn't matter what other people thought about me, my clothes, whatever. It mattered what I thought. I live by that motto to this day about most things - not just clothes.

My mom was wrong about...the phone. You have to handle it. Yes, that's in code.

My favorite place in the world...a porch with the sun shining, slightly off of me, with a cold slushie or a porch at night with the stars out, a glass of good wine and a great friend at my side.

Personal philosophy...You get five HaagenDas minutes and then it's done. Loosely translated - Go ahead and have a good cry. Then you need to put your big girl panties on and deal with it.

What keeps me up at night...Nothing (Because I refuse to worry. What good is that gonna do) and hopefully someone tapping my shoulder at 2 a.m.

Book that changed my life...Love You Forever. OMG! Every new mommie should read this book. The love you will feel for your child is captured perfectly in it.

My latest favorite quote...borrowed from Eat.Pray.Love.)"If I promise you that you will never have any reason in your life to ever worry about anything, will you believe me?"

Before I die I must see...Big Ben, London Bridge (the original one - it's not where you think!!), my book published, The Princess on screen (if that's what she REALLY wants to do).

What I know for sure...As long as I have faith, it will be alright.

Enjoy The Journey

2010-09-03T19:00:00.007-04:00

I have a friend that sends me a daily inspiration email each morning (hence the name daily). Normally these little emails are uplifting and a pretty good way to start the day. The one that was sent this morning was especially on the money because it was entitled "Enjoy The Journey".

I began this blog a long time ago. This is the third incarnate. The first two were snappy and full of bite. I decided that snappy and bitey were not the direction I wanted to go. Then I began this one (and it was juuuust right).

I've been throught a lot in my 38 years and still have much, much, MUCH more to go. One thing that I have learned is that if you don't stop to smell the roses, you will miss a lot.

Here's to roses. May they smell good forever.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

TODAY'S WORD Sometimes it's easy to become so goal-oriented and so focused on our dreams that we overlook the simple things that we should be enjoying in our everyday life. But we have to remember that life is not really about the destination, it's about how we live all along the way. It's about the path we're on that shines brighter and brighter.

In this life, there is no such thing as a finish line. Once you accomplish one dream, God will give you another. When you overcome one challenge, there will be another. There is always another mountain to climb. If we make the mistake of just living for the destination, we'll look up one day and realize we've missed out on the biggest part of life because most of life is routine. Most of us get up every morning, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed and do it again. There are very few mountaintops where you graduate from school, or you get married, or have a child, or go on vacation. The high times are few and far between. Don't get stuck living for the mountaintops. Learn to enjoy the path you're on. Learn to enjoy the people in your life. Learn to enjoy the simple blessings of walking in the path the Lord has prepared for you.

VENT - Krappy Karrots from Kay-Roger

2010-09-02T13:46:00.006-04:00

This post is the real letter I sent to Kay-Roger. I'm not a happy camper right now and when momma's not happy, she tells ALL of her friends.

My vow is to keep telling people I'm not happy until Kay-Roger makes me happy. I'll let you know how long that takes.

============================================================

Kay-Roger, Atlanta Marketing Area
2175 Parklake Dr
Atlanta GA 30345

Mr. L,

I have generally enjoyed shopping at your stores. The prices are low and the selection has been good. However, I have noticed in the past 6 – 12 months that the quality of food, the selection and the customer service level has gone down. Even so, I continued to patronize the store because it was closest to my home.

Yesterday, I walked into my local Kay-Roger store in search of a 2lb bag of carrots. There were about six 2lb bags of carrots in stock and all of them were wet, slimy, old and had roots growing out of them. I went in search of the 1lb bags and found the same number of carrots but instead of slimy, they were old, dry, cracked carrots.

I asked that the produce manager be paged. After 5 minutes I was informed that he was not in. I then asked for the store manager. Five minutes later, he came over to me, I showed him the carrots and he simply looked at me with a blank stare. I explained to him that the carrots were old and decayed enough that they could make someone sick. I told him this THREE times. He continued to stare at me, not apologizing, not offering to produce another bag, not saying a word. I asked if he had any fresh carrots in the back and he brought out two 1lb bags of the old carrots. He said that he had just taken them out of the box. I told him that he should have denied the shipment.

I have visited the (__) store for the past 2 years because it is less than a mile from my house. I have also visited the (__) store (4.4 miles from my home) and the (__) Store (4.2 miles). They have the same issues as the one in my neighborhood. If I want a decent Kay-Roger shopping experience I have to travel 9.2 miles to the nearest store!

This may not seem like a long distance to you, but I am a busy mom and I don’t have time to travel in search of a Kay-Roger that carries quality food and offers good customer service. Yesterday I went to the (other) store located across the street from your store. They had fresh carrots at a cheaper price and the customer service attendant was very friendly.

I would like for someone to contact me and explain why 1) the produce is allowed to be in that condition and 2) why managers are not trained to pull questionable items off the shelves. Until I receive a response, I plan to begin visiting the Poo--blay Grocery store on (__) for my weekly shopping. I also plan on telling my circle of friends about my experience. If the Kay-Roger stores in my neighborhood cannot be comparable to the Kay-Roger stores off of (__) and (__), then I simply will go elsewhere.

Be Safe

2010-08-23T22:13:00.006-04:00

Seeing a cell phone through the eyes of a budding teenager is pretty amazing. I've watched the Princess learn (very quickly) how to use the phone and The Sister has watched her learn (again, SUPER quickly) how to text.

We were all sitting at a family dinner last week and the Princess sent us all a text message asking us what we were doing. Well duh! We're sitting in front of you!

Doesn't matter. She just wanted to text. Thank God for ummm-limited texting.

She also likes to call. She calls everyone, just to see how they are doing, to tell them what she just ate or what she is going to eat or even what she would like to eat. She called me from the living room (I was ten feet away in my bedroom -yeah I know, tiny apartment) and asked me if she could get some pudding. Then when she finished, she sent me a "Thank You" text.

The final straw was when I was sitting at my mother's office, waiting to take her home and the Princess asked (texted) me what I was doing.

SM - "I'm sitting in Ma Mere's office waiting to take her home."

TP - "What time are you leaving to come pick me up?"

SM - "In a few minutes."

TP - "Okay."

SM - "I love you."

TP - "I love you too. Be safe."

Be safe? I like the fact that she is concerned for my welfare but where the hell did she learn that? I sure as hell don't say it. If I could have text her back I would have said, "ROTFLMAO. WTF?"

But that wouldn't be appropriate.

Oh, side note. I printed out a complete list of texting lingo. 46 pages. Half those words are ones that I've never even heard of. Half of them are words that the Princess can't use. And, half of them are ones that may or may not be acceptable.

I know, I can count. I'm just under stress. You can judge my math when YOU have a teenager-not until.

Movie Review - The Weekend of Chick Lit

2010-08-15T21:13:00.003-04:00

1. Eat. Pray. Love.
2. The Proposal *
3. Somethings Gotta Give
4. Did You Hear About The Morgans?
5. It's Complicated
6. Valentines Day

Yep, it was one hell of a chick-lit weekend. I saw 6 (count 'em) chick-lits this weekend. Yes, by Sunday night I am an emotional wreck! But, I did it. Approximately 14 hours of my life watching sappy, girlie, movies.

A friend of mine suggested many of these movies to me. I decided that this weekend I'd bite the bullet and get it done. Now, everyone that knows me, knows that I don't watch movies all willie nillie. I have things to do and spending 2 hours watching a random movie doesn't always interest me. A movie has to be a damned good one for me to commit. Well, all of these were very, very good.

1. Eat. Pray. Love.
OMG. It was so good. Every woman should watch this movie. There are so many lessons wrapped in laughter. No matter where you are in your life you can get something out of it. What did I get? Motivated. I love the fact that Julia Robert's character goes through such a range of emotions. I think we all do, we just deal with them differently.

2. The Proposal *
This one almost doesn't count. I own it. I went to see it opening weekend last year and fell in love with it. The Tuesday it came out on DVD, I received it as a gift. I've seen it a dozen times and it's funny every time. Sandy, Ryan and Betty are tooooooo funny!

3. Somethings Gotta Give
Very good. A really good examination of older relationships. I know, I'm only in my late 30's but I'm in a stage further along than some people my age. I've got a couple of marriages under my belt and a teenager that is going to drive me to drive (more). I can totally relate.

4. Did You Hear About The Morgans?
I love Hugh Grant. He was superb. This was definitely a couples movie. Some couples are lucky enough to remember why they married in the first place and put the pieces back together. Other couples wonder if you really can suffocate a person with a pillow (no, you can't - don't ask how I know).

5. It's Complicated.
ROTFLMAO - Do you hear me! This was just a great cast of folks. Meryl, Steve and Alec need awards (did they get awards?) I hurt myself laughing. I think my neighbors were a bit peeved cause I roared with laughter several times. I was glad that the movie ended the way it did. (Sid e note - I need to get skype).

6. Valentines Day
Cute. Very, very cute. Alot of people, alot of stuff going on but in the end cute. It had some parts that I didn't see coming but I sniffled at the end and that makes a great movie.

Ok, now I need to cleanse and watch something bloody or something. That was too much mushy. I'm think I'm gonna go read a dirty novel now.

And I Lo Jacked That Mug!

2010-08-13T14:46:00.010-04:00

To piggie back on the fact that I stalked my daughter on the first day of school (giving her years of therapy to pay for), Tuesday we ran to the cell phone store so fast I tore the hinges off that motha (shut yo mouf). Yep, I bought the Princess a cell phone cause I am that mommie (have I told you that before?).

Now, I know that she is my child because I told her that I would pay for the phone as long as she paid for half the bill each month. I told her to feel free to use the resources at her disposal.

So TP spent the last 2 nights calling relatives on her cell phone...and telling them that W@lly W0rld had $10, $20 and $50 pre-paid cards that she could use to pay the monthly bill. And what pray tell, came in my e-mail today? Requests for my mailing address and promises of $50 pre-paid cards from the grands and a $20 card from Auntie Virginia Girl. That can pay her portion of the bill for 6 months!! She works hard for her money folks.

I'm gonna remember this when it's junior/senior dues time AND when the college tuition fees are due. I'll call all of you on her blinged out phone if I have to!

Oh, and to be clear, the pictured phone is not her phone. I thought it wouldn't be right to post an actual picture of her phone.

Especially since we will be making a trip to the mall to get a cover for it - sponsored by Auntie The Sister.

Is Someone Following You?

2010-08-09T08:58:00.005-04:00

Go ahead and judge me. I don't care. Really, I don't.

Yes, I followed The Princess to the bus stop and watched from a distance until the bus pulled away. It was her first day. I'm that mommie. It's the last time, I promise.

This week.

No, really. This is our first year at the bus stop. Once we move in a few months, the bus stop will be inside a gate. The current bus stop is on a main highway. Yes, the word "highway" is on the street name. 4 lanes, 45 mph (which means drive 55, 60). It's used as a alternate route when the expressway is being worked on. Guess what happened this weekend? Yep, expressway roadwork. You bet your sweet ass I was watching.

She did well, of course. 2 other young princesses were at the bus stop as well. She gets a big SM 4 star hug today.

What is SM doing to day? Pampering. I deserve it. I spend a butt load of money this weekend on shoes, clothes, 2 pocket, pronged folders, etc. So I'm going to spend $16 on a pedi, $6 on a movie and watch trash tv (I hope 0pr@h is good today!).

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The School Supply Store...

2010-08-03T11:45:00.006-04:00

I think I've mentioned a time or two that I currently live in a hell hole apartment. Well, it's come to my attendtion that the people that live here are guardians for hell.

Last week I received a note on my door stating there would be a school supply drive last Saturday. We were supposed to meet, grab a list and meet back up the following week. I'm all about the kiddies and school supplies so I got my little happy self to the place. I always spread the gospel about how important it is to support the children, teachers and schools. Remember, I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty.... (sorry, I digress - old Whitney Houston song - before Bobbbbayyyyy!).

So last Saturday I show up for the meeting along with 3 other do gooders. We get a handwritten list and our orders to bring back items during the week. Then the items would be dispersed this Saturday (2 days before school).

That sounds great. I exchange phone numbers with the ladies, take my list and prepare to fulfill my RAOK list. The Princess has extra things like blunt tip scissors and color pencils that I always have on hand and doesn't everyone have stuff on sale right now? What's it gonna hurt to spend an extra fiver on someone else?

So Sunday I purchase a few things and pull a few things from my own stash. I plan to go back to the stores during the week and complete my task. Then yesterday I get this call.

"Hey Super Mommie. This is Neighborhood Naomi. Have you taken your supplies over to Do Gooder Debbie?"

"No, not yet. I'm gonna do that Friday."

"Well, don't."

(pregnant pause)

(( I've always wanted to use "a pregnant pause"))

"I beg your pardon?"

"Don't take anything over. I just came from over there today and found out that we aren't collecting for the apartment complex, we're collecting for Do Gooder Debbie."

(another pregnant pause)

((two in one post!))

"Are you sure?"

Neighborhood Naomi proceeded to tell me that she took her supplies over and DGD told her that she didn't have the right type of dry erase markers. NN explained that all teachers use this kind. Then DGD pulled out her list and said that HER daughter's teacher didn't want that kind. NN asked her who, exactly, where we collecting for. She said mainly her daughter but anyone else that needed supplies could ask her for some.

NN grabbed her supplies and went home to make several irate phone calls. The first one being to the front leasing office.

I'm sure there will be another note on my door today when I get home.

Damn it, I'm ready to move! November can't get here fast enough.

Lazy Sunday

2010-08-01T10:15:00.006-04:00

Sunday Mornings are always nice. Some Sunday mornings are spec-damn-tacular!

There's no real game plan for Sunday's like these. I did what I needed to do on Saturday or perhaps I have a Monday holiday and I can do it then. But on Super Sunday Mornings, I have nothing to do and no place to go.

I sip on a few great cups of coffee. I might sift through some emails or searching the web. Perhaps I'll finish up a book that I was reading or start a new one. I can clip coupons. I'll get a little bit of some lite housework done. Maybe I'll checkout The Food Newtork or The Food Channel and get hungry, so I'll maka a vegetarian fry up with eggs, potatoes, toast, and a little salmon.

There's nothing quite like it.

Except the Sunday's when I wake up and get to snuggle before doing everything else (bow-chic-a-wow-wow!!)

Boots With The Fur

2010-07-29T10:33:00.006-04:00

Both The Princess and I wear eyeglasses. Because I have worn them for almost 30 years, I don't like help in choosing them. I know what looks good on my face. I can get a feel for fashion. I don't need you're "non-glass wearing, self" helping me and quite frankly, I don't give a rats ass what YOU think as long as I like them. Apparently The Princess has inherited this independence (damn free thinkin' kid) and wanted almost no help from me.

But I did help...a little. I explained that pink or purple glasses might not be the route she wanted to go. She has a creamy milk chocolate complexion and those pink/purple glasses were clashing with it. So, you either get rid of the face or get rid of the glasses.

I like her face.

So does she.

So does "Walter-Corn-On-The-Cobb" (that's another post, for another time).

So we kept the gorgeous face, and found these incredible frames. Apple Bottom frames. Yes! I don't really condone name brands like that (unless they are Supermommie brand) but they were very, very cute on her face AND they were the right price (Wally World Vision Center shout out!!).

Yep. Hers have a touch of blue on the inside. very stylish. Very hip. Very 8th grade.

I said it...8th grade. She is queen of the playground this year. Next year she will be (vegetarian)lunch meat. Freshman. Bottom of the barrel. Wanna buy a pool pass/elevator pass/executive parking pass. But this year, this year she is on top. She's SELLING pool/elevator/executive bus riding (too young to drive) passes. BPOC! Big Princess On Campus.

BPOC...rocking the Apple Bottom frames. Oh yeah Be-yot-ches!

Question For The Readers - Sweat To The Oldies or Continue To Eat Cheeze-Its While Channel Surfing?

2010-07-26T10:12:00.006-04:00

Good News? I met my downstairs neighbors.

Bad News? I met my downstairs neighbors.

I am a single girl and a single girl needs to stay in shape. You never know when Mr. Right is gonna come along. You have to be in prime shape for it. A single girl should jog a few times a week or go for a power walk - perhaps train for a triathlon.

Me? Yeah, I don't do that kinda shit. I walk a little bit, move my legs to Leslie Sansone a bit but that's it. I wouldn't run, even if my ass was on fire (thank you BH for that!!).

Apparently, what I do do, the people in the apartment below me can hear. I saw them walking out of their front door Sunday and so I introduced myself, told them where I lived and asked them if they could hear me when I exercised in the evenings. "She" rolled her eyes and said, "Yes, we hear you". I was a bit flustered and so I blurted out, "Oh, sorry about that. I'll just keep it to the evenings and I won't exercise in the morning." Then I scurried away.

Now that it's been some time (no, I didn't exercise yesterday) I thought I'd ask the community out there - Is it unreasonable that I should continue to exercise from 6:30 - 7pm? I don't play loud music or have parties. I'm always respectful and The Princess and I walk as soft as we can. And come one, you did get the middle apartment. When I lived in the bottom apartment, I heard people all the time and didn't complain (except when their toilet leaked into my bathroom - but that was understandable).

Am I out of line? Should I just continue to keep my rotund figure and be single and lonely forever? I move in November - should I be chubby until them? Or, am I correct in stating that it will only be half an hour in the pm and never in the am?

Now, you will recall that the people that USE to live below me had a "medicinal use habit" and it would waft up into my apartment. My front office wouldn't do anything about it. There wasn't a certain time of day that they would do it -- they did it all day. I'm just asking for 30 minutes a day.

Good people of the blogosphere - What say you?

RANT: The Price of School Supplies

2010-07-15T12:07:00.008-04:00

SUBTITLE: What The Hell Are You Mad At?

I just finished reading a rant on the cost of back to school supplies. It was a pretty hot button topic. I thought I'd put my 3 cents out there.

Yes, it's pretty darn expensive buying school supplies for a middle schooler. They have 7 classes and they change the rotation 3 times a year. Things like 2 " binders for each class can get expensive not to mention I usually have to buy 10 project boards each year. Reams of copier paper aren't cheap (when it's 1 - 2 reams per teacher) and expo markers, Kleenex and hand sanitizer can break the bank.

BUT...I sacrifice a starbucks latte or two and brown bag some lunches so that The Princess can get her supplies. I spend the extra few bucks and send some extra supplies to the teachers when I can. Yes, I know that it's expensive but guess what? You get what you put into it.

Having children is not cheap and it has never been cheap. Why should school supplies be any different? I understand that there are parents that just cannot afford it. That's why I send an extra case of paper and pencils to school. I'm not fussing at those parents. They are doing the best they can with what they have. But, there are some parents out there that simply believe the school system should do it all. You want to pay less taxes and get free lunch and school supplies? From where?

My aunt was a school teacher for 30+ years and I remember her spending hundreds of dollars on supplies for her students. Hell, she bought a used copier for the foreign language lab. She would spend hours at the school supply store buying flashcards and construction paper because she wanted the best for her students. She spent her own money on markers and pens and pencils. But, you know what? Not all teachers have the extra money that she had.

You don't want to spend the money on school supplies for your kids? Fine. Don't. Petition a local store and see if they can donate to you kid's school or class. Have an extra bake sale or calendar sale to pay for copier paper. Heck, sell cans off the street so that the teachers have expo markers. Don't complain about the cost of supplies and then leave it alone! If you get mad GREAT! Then do something with that anger!!

Call your local representative and get more money in the school budget for supplies. Tell you what. Do one better. GET MORE MONEY FOR MORE TEACHERS! Your anger shouldn't be at the teachers for asking for supplies for your precious children. Your anger should be converted into energy...energy used to attend PTA meetings and parent/teacher/student conferences. I often find that the people that yell the loudest haven't seen the inside of the school building other than the day that you register your kid.

Yep, that's my 3cents. If you agree then by all means post. If you disagree, post - but post decently. If you don't, well sweetheart, this ain't an "equal opportunity" blog. If your comment is rude or nasty - it will not get moderated.

Still mad? Then swing past a local children's home and take a case of school supplies to them.

Who Needs A Fingertip?

2010-07-09T15:36:00.014-04:00

You can't see it from the picture but I cut the hell outta my finger. This is 24 hours later. I couldn't take a picture as it was happening because, duh, I was bleeding. I didn't stop bleeding for an hour. I told The Princess to call Ma Mere if I passed out from blood loss. I don't think she cared.

I was trying to cut a pre-cut (shut up) bagel (for The Princess) and accidentally cut my finger tip damned near off instead. I dropped the bagel on the floor and ran to the sink to run it under cold water. That stung like hell!! I tried to apply pressure using towels and only succeeded in cause a laundry nightmare for myself.

And living with this type of injury isn't easy. I tried to put on my shirt with a towel wrapped around my still bleeding finger and got blood all over the damned place. The Princess had to snap my bra for me. I think she vomited a little in her mouth (Well, "the girls" can't make everybody's day). It's also hard to put on and zip up pants while trying to keep ice, in a towel, while wrapped around your hand. And curling your hair? My hair looked like hot shyt yesterday.

Typing without that finger? Damned near impossible. Good thing that only 95% of my job requires it! Lotioning the left foot? Not today! I have one lotioned foot and one ashy one. Deodorant? Only on the left side sista sue! I'd keep away from the right side of me if I were you.

But today is better. My finger is properly wrapped (thanks sis). And I can actually do things again. I can't use the "F" or "T" keys properly yet and I can't dig a booger.

But I'm working on it.

Wordless Wednesday - Ok, 1 Word

2010-06-30T09:39:00.002-04:00

BAM!!

She's Leavin' On A Jet Plane...

2010-06-29T10:29:00.004-04:00

I did it. I put the Princess on a bus for "away camp" this morning. Nope -- I didn't cry. I was kinda sad but I didn't cry. She'll only be gone for a week. Perhaps if it was longer I would have cried.

And she is super stoked about it! And why wouldn't she be? A welcome cookout on Tuesday, bonfire/smores night Wednesday (and that's after open mic time), minor league baseball game Thursday night (but not before the scavanger hunt) -- oh and did I mention pizza party everynight at 11pm? Hell, I want to go!

And so what am I going to do this week? Well, I've got it all planned out (it's the way we mommies roll).

Tonight I'm going to dinner with friends -- at 7pm! I know! That's practically bed time!! I cannot remember the last time I went to dinner that late ON A SCHOOL NIGHT!! Yep, I'm pretty proud of my little bad self.

Wednesday night? Brace yourself -- dinner again! Some of the same friends, a few different ones. We're meeting at a different restaurant and a bit earlier this time (6:30pm) but a lighter dinner. It's Mexican meal night and I plan to sit on the patio and drink margaritas. Well, perhaps only two. I do have to go to work the next day.

Thursday night? Quiet night snuggling. Someone has offered to make dinner for me and I have graciously accepted. I see a long night on the porch, sipping a nice wine.

Fri-day? I get to "work from home". That means pj on, laptop up and watching TV from the back porch.

It may not seem like a lot going on to you but to a super mommie, it's a hell of a lot!

I hope you have fun Princess. I know Mommie will.

I Threw Up A Little In My Mouth

2010-06-21T13:51:00.007-04:00

I did it! I took a picture of a zebra.

My daddy was in town and he wanted to go to all the tourist spots. That meant the zoo was on the list. I didn't panic until Daddy said, "Oh look, the zebras are over there." Then my hands started to sweat and I began to feel physically ill. The Princess took my hand and said, "Just take a picture mommie. Then you can run away."

So I did. I took the picture, from far, far away. Yes, I squeezed the life out of The Princesses' hand but she'll live. And then, I ran like a bat out of hell.

If you are asking why did I run from the zebras, then you are new to this blog. I have an irrational fear of zebras. I'm a zebraphobe (no, that's not a real phobia).

I am working on my fear though. My coworker said my first step was that I took a picture. My next step with be to pet one.

ROTFLMAO - Don't count on it!

Dear So and So - The "What A Day - June 14" Edition

2010-06-15T10:11:00.006-04:00

Dear Grandma That Is A Spy,
It's not that I don't think you should be allowed to socialize with your family but do you have to do it at 7pm, in front of the apartment building, in the back bed of a pickup truck, so freakin loudly? I can hear you lady! You aren't soft spoken. Neither are the 14 people standing there with you...drinking.

Dear Man At The Grocery Store,
I don't think you know how to count. The sign says 10 items or less. You clearly have a cart full. The Princess stopped counting at 22. The clerk explained that he could get in trouble for ringing your order so he'd do it this time but he couldn't next time. Even after that, you didn't get it. The four people behind you with 3 items each, really wanted you to go to another line. You are an arse-hole.

Dear Woman That Sprayed Air Freshener In The Ladies Bathroom,
I'd have rather you let the natural smell shine through. That floral scent is killer, especially when you spray out half the damned bottle. I couldn't breathe. I had a coughing fit while trying to pee. That's not good.

Dear Person That Wets The Whole Counter Top In The Kitchen At Work,
Don't I complain about you every time I do this? Stop getting water everywhere dumb-arse. There are paper towels in there -- use them.

Dear IT Person,
Don't question my need for a new keyboard. The "Delete", "Ctrl" and right "Shift" keys don't work. No, I don't think I can work around them any longer. I think you need to get me a new keyboard (so that I can finish typing my blog).

Keep It Or Toss It? Part Deux.

2010-06-10T11:40:00.007-04:00

So I was shooting the breeze with VA Girl and she asked me for an update on the Great American Clean Up. If you recall, I decided to take steps toward living the life that I want to live (to the fullest) and part of that was to live simply. Step one was to radically reduce the amount of "stuff" that I have. Sounds easy - I tell you it's not.

Well, I made a list of all the rooms that needed to be dealt with, checked it twice and began in the kitchen. I figured that would be the most emotionally draining (I am a foodie with tons of foodie accoutrements) so best to get that out the way. Good News! The kitchen (as well as the bathroom) is all spic and span. I didn't take a pic before (cause that would have been well thought out) but I did take a pic of all the crap that I put in a box for goodwill and an after pic.

Now, the pic above doesn't include the crap that I set out for The Sister, Ma Mere or the trash can. That's just the stuff (from the kitchen) for donations.
<--- And over there is the stuff that I kept, neatly put away.

Yes, it was emotional. No, I did not keep the potato ricer. Odd side story, the very next day I made mashed potatoes. I've had the ricer for nearly a year and NEVER made mashed potatoes until I tossed the ricer.

Next is the cookbook shelf and the bedroom desk. Yes, I'll take a picture and show you the before, perhaps a during and the after. It doesn't quite look like a scene from Ho@rders but I wouldn't throw stones at those people.

I'd tell you that the process hasn't been nearly as taxing on me as I thought, but that would be a lie. I knew it would be and it has been. A friend of mine gave me some very encouraging words over a glass of excellent wine, as he knew this would be difficult for me.

(paraphrased) Look at this as a step toward the life you've always wanted to lead. You've been taking baby steps toward that life and this pile of "stuff" was in your way. Move it out of your way and keep taking the steps. (unparaphrased).(Used without his expressed consent, knowledge or permission. But who's gonna tell him)?

So that's what I'm doing. I'm looking at this whole exercise as getting rid of junk and getting on with life. What life? Well, that's to be determined...

...and what a wonderful feeling that is!

Grandma Is A Spy

2010-06-01T12:07:00.005-04:00

Let's preface this post by saying my apartment complex has gone downhill since new management took over last year. I'm sure I've mentioned my refrigerator problems, a/c problems, cable stealing issues, "recreational salesperson" issues, electrical outlets that cannot be used issues, etc. Needless to say, I will NOT be renewing my lease.

And now, some body's Grandma sits by the steps and watches my comings and goings.

No, she doesn't sit on her porch or by her door. She sits next to the last step on the stairs. She has to physically get up and move her chair in order for you to pass by -- and it takes her days to actually move the chair! Wouldn't it be easier on you if you would just sit on the other side of the steps? Or (here's a thought) SIT ON YOUR OWN PORCH! We pay extra for these nice patios. It's shaded and everything. You can still see everything that goes on!

I know that sometimes older people don't have anything else to do so they amuse themselves by keeping tabs on all 9 families that live in their unit but do you have to sit you table chair right by the steps? My company is scared to come over. I've had someone actually call me and say, "I'm downstairs. Granny is outside."

Oh. Will you pah-leese keep your grandkid's squawking and mess making to a minimum? There juice and cookie crumbs all over the walkway (He's not eating the cookies lady. He's obviously smashing them up and leaving them on the ground). When he's not making a cookie and juice mess he's yelling very loudly. I open my front door and I hear him hollering at people. He probably wants to go inside the house. Here's an idea...take him there.

And, you do not have to mention that I sure do shop a lot because I'm always taking bags into my place? I don't see where that is any of your business. That makes you noisy and a potential thief. If any of my groceries are missing when I come home, I'm coming to you first old lady.

I think your family members should enroll you in some activities. The senior center has a bus that comes into the neighborhood. They leave an activity list at the front office. I glanced at it when I was paying rent and it looks pretty good. Swimming, painting, exercise class. Go bother those people. I bet they have a front porch you can sit on. Leave me and my household alone.

I actually think Grandma is a spy. It's a good cover. I think one of my exes has paid her to report my every move. I leave the house in the am, she is there. I come home in the pm, she is there. I bet if I came home for a nooner, she'd be there too.

Well keep on spying Granny. You've got until the end of October and then I'm bustin' the hell outta there.

And no, you will not get good tenant ratings.

Keep It Or Toss It?

2010-05-28T13:33:00.003-04:00

Lord give me strength.

I cleaned out the food in my kitchen Wednesday afternoon. I had berries in the freezer from January - I had every intention of making smoothies. I had cans and cans of beans in the pantry - I make a lot of taco soup and vegetable soup during the winter months. It's practically June now. I cleaned out the spice cabinet. Many of the spices were pretty old. It's best to make stuff with fresh spices.

This weekend I will tackle the "stuff" in my kitchen. That will be hard.

I take pride in a well stocked kitchen. I have a "measuring spoon collection" and widgets and gadgets that I've used once and never again. I even have some gadgets that *gasp* I've never used. I have spoons and utensils on the counter top for visual display. I use to feel comfortable with everything that way. Well, all of that changes this weekend.

I'm paring down. It's part of my living simply philosophy. I have a lot of goals in my life and I think that some of the "stuff" that I hold onto prevents me from doing the things I really want to do.

I won't get rid of everything in my kitchen. I will only keep the things the I LOVE. So, the potato ricer - like it, but don't love it; My bamboo spoon set - love it, use it everyday. The olive pitter - good gosh, I don't know. I like olives but I rarely eat them. I guess it has to go.

I know, it sounds really easy to many of you but the foodies out there understand. I will be moving to a new place in a few months. I don't want to take all of this stuff with me - only the things I love. I really have to make some tough decisions where my kitchen is concerned.

I gave myself the 3day weekend. It will take every but of that time.

But no time to cry...the bathroom cosmetic basket is next on the list!

What God Does At Midnight

2010-05-26T11:48:00.005-04:00

Epiphanies happen at 1:05 in the morning. Is it because you are half asleep? Is it that you really are in REM sleep? Is it because everyone else is sleep so The Big G can focus all his time on you? I dunno. What I do know is that for me, the middle of the night is usually when they happen.

Last night I had one and it's very simple.

Yep, that's it -- simplicity.

I've decided to KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid). I have a lot of goings-on in my life and when you remove all the fast moving parts, I have some very simple things going on that are the most important things to me. I'm going to focus on those things and remove all of the other things that deter me from the important stuff. People, places, ideas, activities. All of them have to be pared down to the basics.

You're asking, how does that affect me? Well, quite simply, it doesn't. It doesn't affect you at all.

But it does affect me and that is what is going to make me a better person. Oh and well, that will make my posts more interesting (or terribly boring) so that does affect you!

So be on the lookout for simplicity. It will be so subtle, you may not even notice it! Or, it may be so earth shattering you have to shield your eyes from it.

2010-05-25T09:11:00.004-04:00

Summer vaca is here! The Princess is in full summer mode. What exactly does that mean? Well, stay up longer, sleep later, eat cereal all day long and watch more tv than should be allowed by law....well, for the next 2 weeks. Then summer camp begins.

I want a 2 week vaca. No, I don't have to go anywhere. A "stay-ca" will do just fine. Problem is, then I'd want to extend it. If I had two weeks off and the company would continue to pay me, my itinerary would be so great!

Day 1 - Sleep late - don't have to rush and do anything cause I have two weeks to do it in! I'll make a mimosa ~~with~~ for breakfast. Bake cookies for lunch and brownies for dinner.

Day 2 - Brunch with The Princess (at home or out is fine). Something super fattening with lots of butter and maple syrup. Start reading a steamy, trashy novel. Please pass me that mimosa.

Day 3 - Shopping (without The Princess - she doesn't like shopping...yet!). Get toes done. Have another mimosa.

Day 4 - Go to Br@ves Country with The Princess and watch my team win the game. Do they sell anything other than beer? I don't drink beer!

Day 5 - Finish reading the trashy novel. Move on to something stronger than a mimosa - Have to call The Sister over to make drinks.

Day 6 - Bowling or something fun with The Princess (cause that'll be when she is ready to stop watching tv and playing DSlite). Relax with a glass or two of wine once back home.

Day 7 - Lunch with someone else thats on vaca. Perhaps movies with them as well. Mixed drinks and fun conversation.

You see the pattern. Food, shopping and drinks. Ahhhh the life.

I have a 3 day vaca coming up. Let see how much of each I can handle!

I Charge A $75 Cancellation Fee

2010-05-17T22:41:00.005-04:00

I have an hourly rate.

My time is valuable. Don't tell me that we are going to lunch "about 2 o'clock." Don't tell me that you "think" your appointment (the one you want me to attend with you) is on the 18th. Don't tell me that you'll call me and let me know where we are going later. And, don't call me at the last minute and cancel something that you clearly could have cancelled earlier.

I have been very lax about my day planner when it comes to friends and family. Now, when it comes to doctor's and business appointments and such, if I have to wait a moment longer than I think is appropriate, I'm gone. But, when family and friends give "fluffy" times and dates, I let them slide.

Well, I have an hourly rate (I think I mentioned that up top). And, just like English class in college, if you are 16 minutes late, I get to go home. Not sure what time you want to get together for drinks? Well, I'm taking my thirsty arse home and drink there. Don't want to commit to which play you want to see at the theatre? Then tomorrow I'll tell you about the play I went to see by myself.

As I age beautiful (such as fine wines and cheeses) I become more "me" friendly. I've given myself permission to do things for myself. One of those things is to demand respect for my hourly rate.

So, from now on you will respect my hourly rate. I treasure the time that I spend with my friends and family. But, my time has a price tag on it (as should yours). I will charge for missed appointments and overtime. I will not overbook my calendar and I will block out time for returning phone calls, sending letters and quiet time in my office.

And if you don't know how to behave, I will send out letters of release.

Patience May Be A Virtue...But I Don't Have Any

2010-05-07T14:50:00.005-04:00

I just grabbed this from "the complete information" on my sign, Aries.

Impulsive and impatient

They do not make very good followers because they are too "take charge". They may be unwilling to obey or submit to directions for which they can see no reason, or with which they disagree.

See, I can't help what I do. It's who I am.

I sent off a substantial money order for my class reunion 46 days ago. I have asked the event planner 4 times to confirm that my information had been received. The payment was only traveling 14 miles. As of 1:48pm today, the money order "has not been presented for processing". Well, no one has returned my emails so I cancelled the money order and filed paperwork for a refund.

I am a control freak. I like to know that all of the ducks are in a row. I like it when other people handle things because it means I don't have to. I do not like it when people handle things incorrectly. Then I have to clean up. I don't like having to clean up behind grown ups. The Princess, sure, no problem. Grown arse people, no way in hell.

So, it looks like I won't be going to the reunion and I will probably be banned from future events and I may lose 20 or so facebook friends (lol - I crack myself up) but in a world of chaos, I like order! If you can't give me order -- move out of my way.

I Don't Trust People That Don't Like Summer

2010-05-05T12:14:00.005-04:00

Dear Person I THOUGHT I Knew For Twenty Years,

You don't like the summer? You aren't a fan of hot weather? You have to run the ac all day, every day because your body temperature runs warm? You don't like shorts or flip flops? And, you think adult slushies aren't season specific?

Are you freakin' kidding me?! Summer is the best! It's my favorite time of the year! I wait all winter long, very impatiently, for the warm weather to arrive. When it does, I give the pollen time to come in and go away and then it is game on baby!!

When late spring/summer arrives, I can pull out all of my cute sandals and flip flops and get my toes all painted. I use melons and peaches and pinks. I once dated a guy that told me he liked a particular color that did not agree with my summer toe nail polish pallet. I quickly dumped him. TRUE STORY (but I didn't dump him for that reason but it should have been a warning).

I can pull on sundresses and wear shorts and capris. I don't wear sundresses for just anybody. Sundresses are reserved for summer activities. I'll wear capris every day of the week but sundresses are special.

It's baseball season so I can go to as many games as I want. I love my Br@vos! I went opening day and had a blast. I'll go back several times this summer. It's not just the game either. It's a total experience. There are games for the kiddies (and the young at heart). There are the crazies in the crowd. There's the kisscam. There's the fact that you can bring your own food now and just buy ice cream and beer there. Score!!

Summer means I can sit by the pool and read a sassy book or dangle my feet in the water (cause I'm only getting wet up to my neck. My hair is not going to get wet - oh hells no!). A book is better when read on a deck chair with an umbrella over you.

The Princess and I make ice cream. Good Lord we make tons of ice cream. I had to purchase a second barrel for my ice cream maker to keep up with production! My favorite home made flavor? Vanilla, of course.

And the summer drinks. Adult slushies - pina coladas, daiquiris, margaritas, etc. They really are seasonal drinks. Well, ok, they taste better seasonally. I'll drink a margarita on the rocks during the rest of the year but summer....

Dear PITIKFTY, this friendship doesn't appear to be working for a miriad of reasons. But, this, my dear ex-friend took the cake (and home made vanilla ice cream). I think you and I should only be friends from late October through late March.

It's not me, it's you.

101 Things About Me That You May or May Not Have Known

2010-04-29T17:14:00.004-04:00

Yep. It's kinda obvious when I run out of blog ideas. BUT, I give you something entertaining, non-the-less.

Here's 101 things about me that you may or may not have known.

1. I am a super mommie.
2. I have 1 daughter.
3. The factory is now closed.
4. I am the oldest of 4 children.
5. My brother is the only boy out of 4 kids.
6. Until I was 36, I didn’t realize that my brother could beat the crap out of me and my sisters. He always let us beat him up, so I thought we really could.
7. My siblings are still traumatized because I made them play mannequin when we where children.
8. My sisters are the best sisters a girl could have. They aren’t shocked by ANYTHING that I say.
9. My brother is the best brother in the world and he is shocked by EVERYTHING that I say.
10. My mother and my aunt are my touchstones. Even though they are crazy, I love them dearly.
11. I am spiritual but not religious. I use to be super religious but no one could answer my questions so I went directly to the source.
12. I ran away from home at 4. After I finished dinner at the neighbor’s house, I came home.
13. My mother and I had never spent more than 3 days apart until I was 16.
14. When I was 20 I moved to VA with my first husband. I cried the entire way there.
15. I moved back to GA when I was 24 and all but danced a jig.
16. I’m an Air Force Brat.
17. I’ve lived in the following places; Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, Utah, New Mexico, England, and Virginia.
18. My favorite place to live has been Georgia.
19. My place to visit has been England.
20. New Mexico runs a close second in both areas.
21. I love watching baseball and football.
22. I was a water girl for the football team in high school.
23. I would rather pierce body parts with a rusty needle than watch basketball.
24. I’m 5’4 ½ “.
25. That “½” is very important to me. I had to fight with a nurse to get it in my medical chart.
26. I’ve never broken any bones.
27. My only major surgery was childbirth (oh and dental surgery).
28. I love shoes but I’m very picky.
29. I have the world’s biggest collection of hanging earrings. (OK, the record people haven’t checked, but I’m sure it’s close).
30. I miss the art of snail mail.
31. I try to mail out at least one letter and one postcard every two weeks.
32. I am a germaphobe.
33. I live in organized chaos.
34. I like to plan things out.
35. I DO NOT like surprises – AT ALL!
36. I like things in even numbers.
37. I would read books and magazines all day if I had the chance.
38. I’d cook and then eat all day if I wouldn’t get fat.
39. I’d “ski” most of the day if I found the right “skiing partner”.
40. I am a very happy person…unless I’m not happy --- then no one is happy.
41. If I kinda don’t want to do something, I might do it.
42. If I absolutely DO NOT want to do something, I won’t and there’s very little you can say to make me.
43. I would marry a good cup of coffee today if it asked me to.
44. I don’t believe in do-overs or regrets. Everything happens for a reason.
45. I only use scented markers. It makes the workday go faster.
46. I miss the bingo halls in VA.
47. I love 80’s music.
48. Early 90’s music is the soundtrack of my love life.
49. I could spend my entire Saturday watching romance movies from the 1960’s.
50. I hate expressways. I’d take back roads everywhere if I could.
51. I have an irrational fear of zebras.
52. I don’t like cats – at all!
53. I was a waitress at the Cr@cker B@rrel for 3 days. I hated it and cried every night when I got off work.
54. I took obituary calls at the local newspaper for 3 days and decided that it wasn’t the right job for me – I didn’t cry everyday after work though.
55. I had my first kiddie kiss with Will Rogers in 2nd grade - Lakenheath AFB. If you are out there Will, it was great!
56. I had my first real kiss when I was 15.
57. It was a slobbery, yukky mess.
58. Saddly, that was not my worst kiss!
59. My best kiss ever was December 2006.
60. I’ve been married twice.
61. Once I am finished with a relationship, that’s it, I’m done.
62. I’ve only been “in love” once. I’ve loved many times.
63. I’d run my second ex over in my car if I saw him on the street (and then back over him for good measure).
64. I’m best of friends with my first ex.
65. I’m obsessed with all things British.
66. I’m obsessed with all things “kitchen”.
67. I LURVE to cook.
68. I love going to the grocery store.
69. Shopping (of any sort) relaxes me.
70. I HATE dating. If I could find Mr. Number Three without dating, I would.
71. I am a vegetarian. I did it for me.
72. I won’t tell you what you can/can’t/should/shouldn’t eat.
73. I try to recycle and create a small carbon footprint.
74. I won’t die if I have to throw away a bottle or take a flight some where.
75. I love airplanes. I think you can whisper to God when you’re on a plane cause you’re right there near his ear.
76. I have about 101 romance novels in me just waiting to be written and published.
77. I don’t fear death.
78. I don’t overly mourn peoples passing. I think that’s selfish. They’ve completed their journey in life – let them go on in peace.
79. I don’t care for beaches.
80. I’m comfortable with my weight.
81. Because my doctor isn’t comfortable with my weight, I try to keep it down. She’s the boss of me right now.
82. I HATE exercise.
83. I walk every day (when I feel like it) and practice yoga often because I don’t want arthritis when I’m old and I’m convinced this will help.
84. The only way I’d run is if my arse was on fire.
85. My favorite number is 16.
86. My next favorite number is 3.
87. I don’t have a favorite color.
88. My brother thinks that it is crazy that I don’t have a favorite color (I guess that’s a fact about him not me. Oh well).
89. My second favorite body part is/are my toes. When they are all painted up for the summer – watch out!!
90. I’m not telling what my first favorite body part is, but I really like them.
91. I love the warm/hot summer months.
92. I am not a fan of cold winter months.
93. Give me a warm day, an adult slushie and a good book and I am good for the afternoon.
94. I love a hot bubble bath with lush bath gels.
95. I love to coupon my way through a shopping trip.
96. If there is something that I really want, I’ll spend good money to get it.
97. I have voted in 95% of the elections since I was legally able to vote. That includes the one-off elections for local offices. I figure if you don’t vote, you can’t complain.
98. If you aren’t doing a good job in office, I’m gonna complain.
99. I like hot sauce on my eggs.
100. I like ice cold milk.
101. The best day of my life was October 2, 1996.

This Was Not In The Child Rearing Handbook

2010-04-27T15:38:00.004-04:00

I'm going to apply for a gun permit.

So, I took The Princess and Ma Mere to the mall Sunday and more than once (9 times, I counted!) little pimple faced boys stopped to look at my Princess. I almost threw my DQ blizzard at one of them (Not really. I'm not gonna throw food that I could be eating at anyone!) What did The Princess do when she saw the boys look at her? Was she disgusted and revolted? No! She smiled!

I'm getting a gun. I will learn to use it. And I DARE the boys to keep looking.

I know, I know. They'll look anyway and she will look back. But when the hell did this happen? I don't remember reading about this in the handbook! Ok, so I didn't read the handbook - I didn't have time. I was raising a kid!

I wonder how much time you get for shooting a kid in the mall. What if I shoot them in the leg and simply maim them? Do I get the same amount of time? Is that considered premeditated? Geeze, I need to ask a lawyer about those questions.

...Then I'd probably better ask for representation.

"Be Still" ~ Your Sunday Sermon

2010-04-25T18:58:00.005-04:00

Life really is a crazy, wacky journey, isn't it? I've spent all weekend on the phone with several people from my past, updating me on their lives, making me cry and laugh and promises of plans to get together in the future. The most prolific statement this weekend? "Isn't it funny how we get what we ask for, even we don't ask for it out loud?"

VA Girl is so right. There have been so many times that I've wanted something but never dared ask. Sometimes it seems too big or I don't feel like I've earned the right to ask. It doesn't matter. For whatever reason, if He deems it ok then The Big G fixes it right up for me -- and I never have to ask. No, the obstacles don't matter. Those are OUR obstacles. We put those things in the way. He has no obstacles, except, well, us.

Is seems like everything is so rush, rush, rush - hurry up and get it done NOW, we don't take the time for things to simply fall into place. Yes, many times we have to do something, make something move in order for things to work but many other times, things are working themselves out. The Big G is taking care of it for us with the simplest of plans.

I guess "Be still" is something we should all take more time and do. I'm not good at "be still". It seems like a loss of control for me. I don't like to lose control. I like to know who, what, when, where, how and why.

But, I'm learning that sometimes being still and doing nothing is the very best thing we can do. Sometimes it solves a problem that we thought was simply too big.

And sometimes it solves a problem that we pretended we didn't have.

My Apartment Complex Doesn't Like My Compost Heap

2010-04-22T14:24:00.004-04:00

Happy Earth Day!

You all know I'm a big supporter of mother earth. I've done my part in the past.

1. I stopped using plastic bags (and then discovered that without plastic bags I no longer have trash bags so now I have to buy trash bags)

2. I purchased recycling bags for paper, plastic and glass (and now my laundry room looks like the city dump because I just don't get to the recycle place that often and in a few weeks the ants will show up so I may have to seriously give this one up).

3. I use only those spiral bulbs (except for the vanity mirror because I'm sure my crappy apartment will blow a fuse if I use anything except the horrible 2 watt ((no, not 20, yes 2 - I'm scared people!!)) bulbs in there).

4. I recycle every bottle, can, piece of paper that I can (and now what do I do with the 40 recycled notepads that I have made from old paper? I can only write so fast!! Oh, and everyone is getting a really pretty pencil holder made from a tomato can, decorated with recycled paper and bottle caps).

5. I use fewer paper towels and more cleaning cloths (and now I use more water and detergent to clean them).

6. I thought about making a compost heap (ummm, that's yukky. I'd like to, really, but my "monk syndrome" kicks in and I can't - excuse me while I go wash my hands, twice).

I know, I make jokes, but really, it's important to do what you can. Even if you use 1 less paper towel or get 1 less plastic bag from the grocery store, change 1 bulb to a more efficient bulb, you are making a difference. Not sure what you can do? (Besides the typical "save water, shower with a friend," idea - which is NOT a bad idea depending on how hot your friend is!) I've added some links!

http://www.worldwatch.org/resources/go_green_save_green

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/10-simple-and-cheap-green-ideas.html

http://sbinfocanada.about.com/od/environmentbiz/a/greenoffice.htm

Planning For The Future (with Paperdolls)

2010-04-21T14:03:00.005-04:00

One of my "bookies" gave me a Mark Hansen (of Chicken Soup for the Soul fame) "Wealth Writers" seminar DVD. It had some very good takeaways.

One takeaway is that I am supposed to make a dream/vision board. One for my goals in life and one for any book that I am writing. Needless to say, it means not doing any work and googling clip art all day. The board for each book as I write it seems like a great idea. You use sticky notes for each chapter and points within each chapter (dialog/actions, etc.). I don't know why I didn't think of it myself.

However, I've been resistant to doing a d/v board for goals in my life because to me is seems like a gateway drug for paperdolls. I'm a list gal myself and adding pictures to the list, well, seems like something the Princess did when she was 8. Still, I'm game for almost anything that may assist in making myself the famous romance novelist that I fancy myself to be. So, google images, here I come.

I also have to make 101 life goals in 20 minutes. No, not the same as my 101 things in 1001 days. These 101 in 20 minutes goals are things like become debt free, buy a house, stop stalking famous song producers - stuff like that - a complete bucket list, not just things to do within the next 2 1/2 years. Once you've completed each thing you take a purple pen and write "victory" next to the item. Mark claims to have thousands of things on his list. I guess so if you put every thing that you think of down. But, I've got 20 minutes to kill. Here goes.

(clock goes from 2:50pm - 3:10pm).

Ok, I'm back. I managed to write down 56 things. They are pretty good. Now, it's your turn. YOU make 101 life goals in 20 minutes. Keep the list. Post it somewhere. Add to it.

AND, while we're at it, make a d/v board . If I gotta do it, so do you! I'll post the pics tomorrow.

So Far So Good!

2010-04-20T11:15:00.013-04:00

Yes, I had a great birthday. Thank you so much for asking. It was so great, I felt that I need to give my O.sca.r award speech. So here goes.

First, I want to thank everyone for my "burf-day" calls, texts, emails and well wishes. Yes VA Girl, I do look good for 50, even though I'm only 38 (Side bar, calling me at 2am to wish me a happy birthday was a nice idea. That's why I turned my phone off! Better luck next year!). Thank you Tall Girl for my card, your constant support and lunch. I lurve talking about people with you (Can you believe we made those people get up and move!?!). Thank you pirate boy for your illegal phone call and heavy breathing but no, I do not want you to come searching for buried treasure (again, nice try, better luck next year).

Next, I have to give a shout out to my "lil budder" - The Arteest. He made me a cake. Wanna see it? It's to the right up there. He's so nice to me. No, it's not real and no, I can't eat it but then the calories don't show up on my hips. Yay!

And, thanks to the fam for the flowers and cake. Oh, yeah and thanks for eating most of the cake! No, really, I didn't need all the calories. And thanks for breakfast, lunch, and dinner all weekend. I've never eaten quite as much as I did this weekend. The food was de-lish! And super thanks for the shopping trip. Ma Mere and Auntie can be some wild ladies!! I had a great time with you two. Love ya'll.

And my "bookies" - thank you for the reading material. You guys were right on the money. It will take me a month to read everything you sent but I will enjoy it all the same!!

And last, but never least, I have to give a big hug and kiss to The Princess. She is truly my reason for breathing. She is the best birthday present a girl can every have. Thank you my princess!!

And thank you readers, all 4 of you, for letting me have my mushy, smushy moment.

Now back to the snarkiness that you know and love me for!!

Take far too many pictures, laugh just a little bit too loudly, be sure to forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt.

2010-04-15T16:06:00.006-04:00

That has been my header for the past 6 mos. Tomorrow is the big day. My "burf-um-day".

Each year I vow to live my life a certain way all year. This year I am vowing to live several ways.

Take far too many pictures
I have a friend that doesn't believe in pictures. He feels that you should take mental snapshots of people/places/things. I just bought a camera (yea me!) so this year I am taking far too many pictures. If you are near me, watch out! I'll be snapping pictures wherever I go! I'll post some of them. I'm not really big on posting pictures. I might want to run for public office one day (ha! I've already screwed that up!!).

Laugh just a little bit too loudly
Oh wow, this will be hard (not). This year I vow to have fun. I'll laugh and sing and have a good time. Sounds like I need to buy some wine!!

Be sure to forgive freely
Ummm, ok. I'll work on this one. Most people don't mean to be hurtful or harmful. Decide what if they mean to be mean and then forgive them. You'll feel better in the end.

Live emotionally well
I'll work on this one too. What does this mean? Well, instead of saying be honest or say what's on your mind, this mean just be nice. That doesn't mean lie, it just means be nice. Yes, I can still talk about your mini skirt and hairy legs, I just can't do it within earshot of you. AND, I can't do it all the time (sorry Tall Girl - your texts should go down drastically!!).

Love like you've never been hurt
Geeze Louise that one is hard. I have been hurt and it sucks. But, I'll love anyway. BUT, I will love me first. (sorry again Tall Girl - it doesn't mean what you think).

Work like you don't need the money
I've been writing. It's my first love. Right now it doesn't pay the bills but one day, it will. This is my promise to myself. Universe, make it happen!

Dance like no one is watching
Not a problem. I'm terrible dancer and an even worse singer but I do them both. It's one of the things "MY Jackie" told me to do before she passed away. I take every opportunity to do them both.

I've posted the paragraph below. It's worth posting again. It's this year's
credo.
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to
ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break
others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love
with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures,
laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes
with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. You just have to live life
to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak
out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall
asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your
face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all,
live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of
happiness you can never get back.

What I'm Craving Right Now.

2010-04-14T14:27:00.006-04:00

I'm taking a page from skirt!atlanta.

To be outside, reading a book, sipping an adult slushie, in a pollen free area * a pecan praline (okay 4 pecan pralines)* 3 hours to watch the past 3 Saturdays of SNL * another new pair of sandals *the ability to make the decision that yes, I want the starter kit from bareMinerals * 3 nice pairs of slacks in black, tan and navy (that fit my booo-tay correctly) * a tube of sheer cola gloss that has an unbreakable applicator * an all expenses paid 12 day trip to London * a new HP computer with ALL the bells and whistles * chocolate eclair cake * my comfy bed

I'm A Winner!!

2010-04-12T12:25:00.002-04:00

"I'd like to thank all the little people that made this possible. And the big people. And all the people in between. And my 3 blog readers. You like me -- you really like me!!"

Pink of Perfection just sent me the following email...

You won a copy of In the Green Kitchen by Alice Waters! Please send me your mailing address and I'll pass it on the publisher.
Thanks so much for entering and for reading Pink of Perfection!
Best,
http://www.pinkofperfection.com/

You DO know that Friday is my b-day (21 again!!). This starts my bday week off right! Yeah! Thank you P of P!!

Such a twit.

2010-04-08T13:59:00.003-04:00

Look over to the right hand side of my blog, towards the middle. I'll wait while you look.

Back? What do you see? Yep! I'm tweeting! Now you are in for some super duper action! Everything I do will be visible for the world to see. Every move I make, every step I take, every...

Ok, the 3 of you that follow me know that you will get little drips and drops of what I'm doing. I promise to try and make it semi-exciting. Well, I'll add stuff.

Enjoy peeps.

It's Spring Break and I'm Breaking.

2010-04-06T12:22:00.004-04:00

On the first day of spring break, my true love gave to me...

Yep, it's spring break. That means I actually have time to blog! Recently I haven't had time to get a good night's sleep let alone blog. I've tried to stay current on email and work stuff and blogging has fallen to the wayside. I'm sorry about that. I know that all 2 of you are upset about that. Well, I'll try to do better.

My car is green. Everyone's car is green. Green cars mean pollen. The pollen count today was some ridiculous number like 2800. Why? I know that the bees need to pollenate the flowers but can they do it without spreading the spores all over the place? If I could get the camera to work correctly (stupid camera - I'm gonna buy a real one soon) I'd show you what my car looks like.

Pollen means misery. Well, kinda but not as bad as last year because I've been neti potting!! In the past I've been doped up on meds and I'd be sleepy and my eyes would be glazed over and my nose would be red and raw. This year I'm stuffy and snotty but nothing I can't handle. Yesterday was ickky cause I was outside most of the day but I came in, I rinsed my nose and things were better. Today things are a lot better. Am I going outside today? Ummm, no. I was planning on going to the hair dresser for my day of beauty but my hair dresser is coming to me. No need in going out into a pollen count that is a bajillion. (Side note - did you know bazillion is a real word but bajillion isn't? I'm gonna start a petition).

Other than that, the first few days of spring break have been fantastic. I've slept in, read a lot, cooked a lot, laughed with the siblings a lot and today I'm relaxing a lot. Oh! And I bought sandals. Whats a vacation without a shoe purchase? Well, it's nothing.

And, this give me time to work on stuff like writing and family tree searching. And, going to see all the teenie bopper movies that the princess wants to see. And reading the 50 magazines that have been piling up beside my bed. And cleaning out my closet. And eating, then exercising so I can eat some more. All in all, I can't complain.

I think I'm going to have some ice cream and brownie right now. After all, spring break calories don't count.

Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned

2010-03-24T10:17:00.003-04:00

It has been ummm, a really, really long time since my last confession (because I am such a good girl that I never sin - oops, watch out for that lightening bolt).

I just bought another box of GS cookies.

I know, I know but those damned caramel 3 milk cookie things are so freakin good with coffee! I mean the cookie melts but the caramel chips don't and they taste so sweet that afterwards your coffee tastes caramelly.

I ate some grits and eggs this morning (like every good southern girl should) but I wanted something sweet to go with my coffee. And, a pastry from the "crap-a-teria" would have been $1.75 anyway. A box of cookies is two days worth (the serving size on the box is JUST a suggestion people!). So really, really the three bucks, fifty, was totally worth it.

Anyway, I'll walk it off tonight. I will! Well, no I won't but I'll want to. I'll mean to. The entire drive home I'll think about walking it off and then the kid will start talking about what happened on her field trip (the one where she frees the whales and shit) and then I'll juice some carrots and stuff with the juicer (yep, I'm still at it) and then I'll sit in bed watching mindless television while talking on the phone about mindless gossip and then it will be too late cause you can't exercise an hour or so before bed and I have EVERY intention of going to sleep at 9:30.

Whew! Just thinking about exercise is a work out.

I'll think I'll have 3 bloody marys and call it a day.

It's not me, it's you.

2010-03-17T10:57:00.005-04:00

I dated a chef once. Did I ever tell you that? Being that I love food, I thought that it would work out beautifully! Well, it didn't. Two cooks in the kitchen make for a lot of arguments. Fighting over the proper use of spices is not "hot" as you would think it would be. It just makes you wonder how heavy a cast iron skillet really is and can you make "it" look like an accident.

I dated a pretty boy twice. They hogged the mirror, used more "products" than I have EVER used and gave me reason to wonder if metrosexual was hiding something deeper, darker in their past.

I've dated (1)/married(1) guys that made fun of my being a veggie girl. I know. I should have held a pillow over their head in while they were sleeping. I thought about it...a lot. I mean threatening to eat a bleeding hamburger in front of me just incites me to help make YOU that bleeding hamburger. I didn't threaten to throw salads and tofu patties at them but perhaps I should have.

I've dated/married snorers and it didn't bother me (sorry Tall Girl). However, people that talk AND walk in their sleep freak me out. And, I won't tell you what else this particular guy did in his sleep cause I was starting to enjoy it....UNTIL I REALIZED HE WAS FREAKIN SLEEP!!!! Wake up for that dude!

I say all of this for my good friend VA Girl (Yea! Now you have a name!). You asked me if you were being too picky and would it be wrong to break if off with him. Yes, you can be picky but I don't think you are being picky. Yes, you can break it off with him. I just think that latex man is not right for you. (No, I will not explain that one even though it is so funny it will make you pee your pants). He seems nice when I've talked to him but I think you are not the type of woman he needs (I think there are some bunny ranches in Nevada he can go to or he can look on Cr@igslist).

It's ok to not like stuff about him and use that as your excuse to say, "It's not me, it's you." You gave him 6 months and you don't feel for him the way he and his bag of latex tricks feel about you. If you continue this relationship, you'll just gather more reasons to stab him in his sleep later.

And I don't have bail money. I have to save for summer camp for The Princess. BUT, I will put $10 on your commissary.

Mindless Television and Children in Jail

2010-03-16T16:14:00.004-04:00

I spend most of my Sunday evening watching Parking wars. I LOVE this show!! Have you not seen it? No? I need you to take some time and watch an episode or two. It will TOTALLY make you feel really good about yourself.

AND, the Princess has an upcoming field trip to the aquarium. I am beyond freaked out about this. She is Ms. Save The World so I can honestly envision the following phone call.

SM: Hello.

APD: Is this the mother of The Princess?

SM: Yes, why?

APD: Ma'am, we're going to need you to come downtown to bail your daughter out of jail.

SM: Jail?! OMG! Whatever do you mean jail? My sweet angel in jail?

APD: Yes ma'am. Your sweet angel freed the whales.

SM: Freed the whales?

APD: And the dolphins.

SM: The dolphins?

APD: And the penguins.

SM: Oh dear.

APD: And staged a protest rally, tying herself to the crustaceans cage.

SM: I'll be right down. What's the amount of bail.

APD: No ma'am, we just want you to come get her. She won't stop talking.

Well, it would kinda go like that. And, I think the aquarium has all that stuff. I don't like field trips so I wouldn't know.

You Really Do Have The Right To Remain Silent...But Someone Should Probably Say Something!

2010-03-12T11:55:00.005-05:00

My first blog topic was an ode to a zebra. Then I thought of a montage of zebra related topics and items and perhaps even a zebra song. But, I remembered that I'd have to post an actual picture of a zebra and I threw up just a little in my mouth. (Click HERE in case you don't know why).

Then I decided to write about something more pressing, something that the world has not shone (is that a word?) it's spot light on.

Friends who let friends...

Friends who let friends....wear stupid shit to work. I just sent an email to a friend, who let her friend wear the most hideous outfit I had ever seen in my life. It was just wrong to not let her know she looked like a jackarse. I mean people will see her! If you want to dress crazy, do it in the privacy of your own home.

Friends who let friends....audition for television shows when they know those people have no damned talent at all. Now, please understand that I love to sing. I do it in the car, in the bathroom, hell I might be convinced (after several shots of something really strong) to do it at a karaoke bar. I am not, AM NOT going to audition for TV. I know better.

Friends who let friends....procreate with crazy ass people. I have about 3 friends right now that I am not speaking to (well, I do speak to them but with a hint of venom in my voice.). Be nice and offer double lined condoms or a replacement person or something when you see your friend dating someone that seems even remotely douchie. Remember, a short roll in the sack could mean you are tethered to them FOR-EVA!!!!

Friends who let friends....continue to make food that tastes like dog breath. When I first started working in my department, everyone ranted and raved over this lady's potluck dish. I was ready for a taste of heaven when she made it at the Thanksgiving potluck that year. I took a big bite and thought I would vomit right where I stood. It tasted like *ish! Why hadn't anyone told her? Were their taste buds off? I don't care if she is old or not -- that tastes like crap (or what I imagine crap to taste like).

There are times when little white lies are good (OMG your haircut looks great. Wow! Your kid really does look like his father) but in most cases, the truth is best. I mean I try to be as non-commental (again, is that a word?) as possible but sometimes you just HAVE to say something. BUT if it's a situation where the truth might hurt or get you fired...

...remain silent.

Will Someone Please Pass Me The Trash Can?

2010-03-11T15:58:00.004-05:00

I kinda feel sick. Today was bake sale day at work. Lot's of people baked lots of things. I felt the need to do my part. Now, I kinda want to barf.

If it was put on the table, I ate it -- a lot of it.

I spend lots of money for the cause.

I wish I could blog something funny or cute or even sarcastic today.

But I can't.

All I can do is hope that I can make it through traffic before the contents of my stomach begin to rebel.

Sigh.

My name is Super Mommie and I like to eat food.

Rain, rain, go away!

2010-03-10T14:55:00.003-05:00

It's raining today and it will rain tomorrow but I'm not letting that get in the way of summer sandals!

I've spent the morning (you know, while working) looking at summer sandals and dreaming. A sporty pair for the baseball game, the sexy pair for the class reunion, the casual pair for nice dinners out with the fam. I didn't order any but I've made mental appointments to visit 3 shoe stores Saturday. I'll be there bright and early with cash in hand!

I also picked up 3 new bottles of nail polish!! New nail polish for a new year! They will look so nice on freshly manicured toesies. They are all shades of soft pink. My feet like soft shades of pink in the summer. I go a bit darker in the winter but softer in the summer. I don't care what the fashion trends are -- my toes like what they like!

And, this weekend, I looked at sundresses. I wanted to add to the one that I got 2 weeks ago. The Princess picked up 2 really cute skirts and I tried on a few things but nothing worked. That's okay. This weekend will be more of the same. Nice, light, summery materials only. Winter wool need not apply.

Oh, I also looked at new chairs for the patio. They were on sale and I need to have something to sit on as I read a good book while sipping on an adult slushie. The Princess can have fruit punch.

And homemade ice cream! I've been collecting recipes all winter. Nutella ice cream. Lemon ice cream. Praline pecan ice cream. OMG. I am so ready. The ice cream maker has been sitting in the corner staring at me all winter. "Open me! Play with me! Love me!". I promise little ice cream maker, it's almost time!

So rain drops, you can continue to fall on my head but I'll be thinking of summer.

Change is good.

2010-03-09T15:50:00.005-05:00

I'd like to update some of my 101 in 1001. Why you ask? Well, things have changed in the last 150 days. I've changed. My circumstances have changed. So my 101 has changed.

I'd like to be able to say that I'll feel the same way 1001 days later but come on, really?! I change my mind on what color underwear I'm going to put on between the bathroom and the dresser!

So, I've listed the original items and then the changes (in red).

====================================================

4., 5. & 6. - Creating scrapbooks - Yeah....no. I'm just not into scrapbooking. I like crafts but not that much.

55. Get married - No. I don't think that's for me. I've already done it a few times. And, as I was telling The Tall Girl, I don't think I am a "forever" kinda girl. I'm more of a "just for now - let's see how this goes" kinda girl. I'd like a companion but I don't know that I can promise more than 10 years or so. This could change, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

57. Get things from mom's garage - she's my mom - I ain't movin' my stuff!! (And the Arteest better keep his mouth shut! If you tell mommie, I'm gonna give you a wedgie!). I'm going to buy a new filing cabinet instead.

75. Buy a house - I would like to but it may not happen in the next 2 years. It's a great plan but I have a more important plan right now. Instead, I'm changing this to move someplace fabulous. I don't have to own it, I just have to love it.

77. Open an IRA - Yeah, I know I should. But, Sue-sue said to get 8 month savings into an account. Let's work on that first. Maybe I'll just buy a savings bond (in this time of economic craziness).

82. Volunteer 101 hours. I've downsized. There are 16 hours in a day. I spend 2 1/2 commuting, 8 at work, 2.5 each night with the Princess and 3 trying to see what's at the bottom of my wine glass. No, really, I spend as much time as I can with the Princess and the rest getting my mind right. 24 hours is good. Let's make that the starting point. We can always do more.

So there you have it. Change is good.

And Now A Public Service Announcement...

2010-03-06T07:58:00.004-05:00

It's finally close to spring. You all know I don't like winter very much. Spring is ok, but I want to move on past and get to summer. Why miss all the beauty of spring? Allergy season is close by. My allergies have always been out of control. BUT this spring will be different!

Have I mentioned my neti pot to you?

No, the nice neti pot people haven't paid me a dime but I thought it was important to mention. It sounds kinda gross, yes, but if you've spent years with the allergy problems I have, you'll try anything. I would go through a box of tissues a day! I tried the shots, pills, everything. And to think that a $14 teapot looking thing would solve my problem.

Oh yes. SM runs warm, salt water through her nose every morning. I breathe better, I don't wheeze and while other people are feeling the sinus pressure from the change in seasons, SM hasn't had a sinus headache in over a year!

I don't think it will solve 100% of my allergy issues, but if it solves 75% of them, I'm happy. A box of tissue per week versus 1 box a day (and sometimes 2 boxes in the height of allergy season) wins hands down.

All you need is love.

2010-03-05T20:28:00.003-05:00

This one is an interesting one. Today's task is to "Share your thoughts on positivity, supporting other women, the future of communities if we could eliminate drama and negativity and what it means to act in love at all times".

I wrote this post several different times before deciding to just keep it simple. I have a circle of lovely friends. They are so dear to me. I will try to act in love with them at all times. I will make more batches of veggie soup. I will send more "just because" cards. I will think of them twice as much as I do now. I will tell them what they mean to me and support them in their endeavors.

I don't think that's to big a task -- especially for a Super Mommie.

Empowering Me.

2010-03-04T12:05:00.004-05:00

I have stumbled across this new website that I absolutely love! It's Girly Gazette. It's a women empowerment blog. Hey, anything that helps empower me through the day gets an A++ in my book.

The launch page (because it just launched this week) has homework tasks. Oh how I love homework that involves writing. Why? Well, heck -- it's the same as talking but you write the words down instead.

Well, I've missed some assignments (my dog ate them - yeah, yeah, what dog? i know). I am a good student so, I plan on spending the next few days making up my homework (I sure hope I don't get in trouble!!). Then, I'll try to stay on track as much as I can.

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Monday, March 1st: Challenge #1: What makes you feel fabulous?

A warm, sunny day where everything goes just right -- The shoes that I try on fit (and they are on sale!). Everything that I pick up at the farmer's market is fresh and sweet. The Princess is on her best royal behavior. And that book that I started reading is finally to the juicy part!!

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Tuesday, March 2nd: Challenge #2: Who is your Tribe?

I have the worlds best tribe. I have what someone else dubbed, 'my council'. I have friends from 20 years ago and family (that I can't seem to get rid of - lol). They all understand who I am and allow me to be that person. They don't chastise me if I fall -- they lend a hand and pick me up. They let my quirky nature shine and help me sand all the rough places smooth.

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Wednesday, March 3rd: Challenge #3: What is your gift?

That's easy - and no, it's not what you think. I have the gift of happiness. I have always been happy. I mean yes, I have sad times and times when I get angry. But it doesn't last long. I try to spread my happiness to others but some people don't want to be happy. They don't see happy as something they can be. I've been through enough rough stuff to know, no one can make you happy -- you make yourself happy.

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Thursday, March 4th: Challenge #4: What makes you a Power Mom or Wonder Woman?

I would say that it's the cape I keep in my closet all the time but that's for another use. I'm a power mom because I love my job -- my first job; the one that doesn't pay in cash but hugs and kisses. The one that has loooong hours but the second you take a vacation, you want to go right back to the job. The one that is without hazard pay but maxes out in bonuses. The one that I didn't choose-it chose me. Thank God. Without this job, I'd be a poor, lost soul without a home. I love being mom to the Princess. I put it on top of my resume!

Tuesday Helpful Hints

2010-03-02T20:00:00.006-05:00

I saw and heard about a few things today that really should not have happened. People, I don't want you to let these things happen again, ok?

--- I don't want you to get arrested in the middle of rush hour traffic with a red bandanna, blue sweatpants and 1 tennis shoe. I don't understand how you were driving with only 1 tennis shoe on. I wonder if that is part of the reason for the arrest.

--- I don't want you to change clothes while on the M@rt@ train. I know that the passengers pretend that it's ok, but they really are confused by this. But, if you are going to do this, I hope your bra and panties match. (thanks Tall girl for this one)

--- I'm not sure that you should be putting mascara on while driving. Yes, it's a stop light but ma'am, it's green and you are driving.

--- I'm not sending my child to you for tutoring if you misspell tutoring on your cardboard sign.

--- Don't name your kid Sad-e. I'm not opposed to the name, I am opposed to the spelling. (thanks Sister for this one)

--- Before attempting to lay blame at another person's feet, make sure that the person doesn't practice "ass coverage". It could result in YOU getting in waaaay more trouble than you originally were in (thanks to Emi No - but she doesn't know it yet)

--- Pick a color for your car. And, for the record, "primer" is not a color.

--- Going to the library isn't that hard. It's also not as painful as you make it out to be. But, ok, if you'd rather spend $25 on a book rather than read it for free because you don't have the "time" to order it on-line at 10am and then pick it up at the librarians desk at 5pm, you deserve to spend $25.

Is This What You Planned?

2010-03-01T21:49:00.006-05:00

I just wrote the check and sealed the envelope on the forms for my high school reunion...my 20 year high school reunion.

It seems so long ago yet just a while back that I was in high school, my entire life ahead of me. Those giggling girls that I was friends with would be my friends forever and that football player that I dated, well he'd be the man that would walk me down the isle, or so it would seem.

The 5 year reunion wasn't even a thought. I had just left those people. I was a newly married woman in a different state (no, not the football player -- someone totally different). Who wanted to travel 600 miles for a weekend full of people just out of college? My 10 year reunion was missed as well. I was too busy dealing with life. At that time, it seemed that it was more than I could handle. I had a small baby and I didn't have time to compare life notes with anyone. I didn't go to the 15 year reunion either. I had just gotten a divorce and was still finding my way through the mess.

20 years? I'm ready. I have my footing. I feel right in my skin. It only took 18 years for me to discover who I am and what I want. I'm not afraid to go by myself or ask a friend to go with me. I enjoy my job and get paid pretty well for doing it. I have the world's most beautiful Princess and I am so proud of the job that I've done raising her. Yep, I'm ready - not because of what I've done or haven't done but because I understand who I am.

So many people worry about what they haven't done by now or what they should have done by now. When I was in high school I thought I'd be a teacher married with 6 kids. I'm not a teacher, I'm not married and only have 1 kid. What did I know back then? I thought that would make me happy. Nope, I've never been happier than I am now (except for that time the Princess and I made molten chocolate cake with real vanilla ice cream - I was pretty damned happy in that moment!).

I'm excited to see the girls and the pictures that tell the beginnings of our lives. I'm ready to show off who am I am and where I am. No, I'm not where I thought I'd be...I'm in a far better, happier place!

TOP TEN SONGS OF 1990

1990
December 23, 1989 - January 13, 1990:
Another Day In Paradise - Phil Collins
January 20 - February 9:
How Am I Supposed To Live Without You - Michael Bolton
February 10 - March 2:
Opposites Attract - Paula Abdul with The Wild Pair
March 3 - March 23:
Escapade - Janet Jackson
March 24 - April 6:
Black Velvet - Alannah Myles
April 7 - April 13:
Love Will Lead You Back - Taylor Dayne
April 14 - April 20:
I'll Be Your Everything - Tommy Page
April 21 - May 18:
Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Connor
May 19 - June 8:
Vogue - Madonna
June 9 - June 15:
Hold On - Wilson Phillips
June 16 - June 29:
It Must Have Been Love - Roxette
June 30 - July 21:
Step by Step - New Kids on the Block
July 21 - August 3:
She Ain't Worth It - Glenn Medeiros featuring Bobby Brown
August 4 - August 31:
Vision of Love - Mariah Carey
September 1 - September 7:
If Wishes Came True - Sweet Sensation
September 8 - September 14:
Blaze of Glory Jon - Bon Jovi
September 15 - September 29:
Release Me - Wilson Phillips
September 29 - October 5:
(I Can't Live Without Your) Love & Affection - Nelson
October 6 - October 12:
Close to You - Maxi Priest
October 13 - October 19:
Praying for Time - George Michael
October 20 - October 26:
I Don't Have the Heart - James Ingram
October 27 - November 2:
Black Cat - Janet Jackson
November 3 - November 9:
Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
November 10 - November 30:
Love Takes Time - Mariah Carey
December 1 - December 7:
I'm Your Baby Tonight - Whitney Houston
December 8, 1990 - January 4, 1991:
Because I Love You (The Postman Song) - Stevie B

February 101 in 1001 Review

2010-02-28T20:31:00.004-05:00

(Don't know what I'm talking about? Click here.)

-- I did it! I completed the 15 random acts of kindness (ROAK) that I said I would for February. That brings my grand total to 22! Only 79 more to go (deep sigh).

-- I bought a great pair of jeans (0pr@h recommended).

-- I bought the juicer (and I have been juicing like crazy ever since! It's the best $100 I have EVER spent!!).

-- I paid off both credit cards in my money & finance section.

February wasn't hard or anything but the ROAK was challenging. I had to decide what was simply being nice and what was a real random act. I had to do the last one twice. The tall girl asked for a stamp and I gave it to her and wouldn't let her pay for it. Since I wasn't sure if that qualified I decided to give the man ahead of me in line $1.87 which is what he needed for his grocery bill. That qualified, I'm sure.

March has some goals to complete as well.

1. I will leave 15 encouraging words in random places.

2. I will create a customized care package for a friend or loved one.

3. I will volunteer 5 hours.

4. Gather all birthdays in 1 place.

5. Make my alphabet movie list.

Stay tuned....

Cookies and Ice Skating

2010-02-26T21:33:00.003-05:00

Two women in my department have been selling "girl guide" cookies. I bought too many boxes to mention. I've eaten almost half of them. Arrrg!

They shouldn't make them so good! They should make some of them nastier. I mean they have some caramelie ones that go great with morning coffee or tea. Then they have the minty ones that go great as a snack. And then, they have the coconut caramel chewy ones that go great when you are lying in bed watching the Olympics.

Mentioning the Olympics, have you been watching? Some of these winter sports are pretty weird. Sweeping the ice so a weight thing can slide down the ice? And then there are some of the downhill skiing things that look as if they are jostling every bone in their bodies. Some of the winter sports though, hook you in. Right now I am waiting for the 500 meter skate on some ice thing. Three weeks ago, I could not have cared less. Amazing.

So, I sit here with a box of caramel chewy things waiting for some ice rink thing. Then I'll turn off my light thing and go to sleep.

Perhaps I'll have one of those dream things.

My toes are suffocating!!

2010-02-25T22:49:00.009-05:00

Is it sandal weather yet?

I'm ready. I don't like the cold -- I believe everyone knows that. The past few months have been waaaay more winter than I need. So, what did I do today during my down time?

Well, I'll tell you...

Ok, one of these shoes is not one that I've been dreaming of. No, I'm not going to tell you which one. You figure it out (wink, wink).

Have Stone? Make Some Soup.

2010-02-23T21:57:00.004-05:00

This weekend the Princess and I made my super simple veggie soup but I didn't take a picture. That's really ok because I didn't use a recipe either.

Well, I didn't use a real recipe. Why not? I didn't have to. My soup recipes are the world's easiest. In the winter it's cold and I want something warm, fast. I have my go to faves - taco soup, twice baked potato soup, chili (ok, ok, it's really a stew) and vegetable soup.

Ever heard the story of "Stone Soup?" Well, my version of vegetable soup is amazingly like that (except without the stone - who the hell wants a dirty rock in their soup?).

Veggie Soup
A can of tomatoes (no salt added)
A can or bag of mixed veggies (no salt added)
12 - 16 oz of veggie broth (homemade is best - I always have broth in the freezer)
2 tablespoons (I guess - who measures?) vegan Worcestershire sauce
cumin, sage, parsley, pepper, slight hint of salt, hint of paprika

Warm it up (cause really, everything is already cooked) and go. But, the next day it's better.

Ma mere always made homemade soups in the winter. Once a cold spell hit, she would pull out the a big pot and start cutting vegetables and boiling chicken, skimming fat off the top, blah blah blah. I do it the easy way. No cutting, no chicken, no skimming fat.

Now, when I make my veggie broth, I do pull out the stock pot and do the chopping (carrots, parsnips, celery, potatoes, bell peppers, onions, garlic, etc.) and add spices galore. A vat veggie broth made at Thanksgiving will last me well into February.

Do I have some left? Yep. I have one lone container of veggie broth in the freezer. It's terrified that it won't get used. Never fear my container of veggie broth. Old man winter promises one or two more weekends of yukky weather.

And I promise one more batch of super simple veggie soup.

Know what you don't know.

2010-02-22T22:28:00.004-05:00

I learned a new lesson this evening. Well, no. I didn't learn something new -- I gained understanding of something that I had been told many times before.

A good friend of mine use to always say to me, "Know what you don't know." That phrase seems very simple but most of us probably don't heed the warning. I certainly didn't.

I help people. It's a part of my DNA. Even when I don't particularly want to help, I do. I found out after weeks of trying to help someone, I had limited knowledge of what they needed. I thought that it would be easy to take the knowledge I did have and turn it into a helpful deed. Instead, I wasted precious time. I would have helped them more by simply saying, "I don't know." Then, they could have found out what they needed and finished what they started.

I think that we (I) have a fear of disappointing people by revealing that there are things that we don't know. The truth is, no one will be disappointed if we don't know everything. I initially felt like terrible for not saying that I didn't know for sure two weeks ago. I apologized profusely to my friend. She asked what I was apologizing for. I told her for wasting her time. She said instead of just her learning something new we both did. She said there were no apologies needed. She really is a good friend.

Dear So and So...

2010-02-21T20:06:00.004-05:00

Dear lady in line at the pu.bl.ix checkout,

I don't want to hear how painful your bikini wax was. And I really don't care if your boyfriend doesn't appreciate it. Please remember that when you talk on the cell phone, I can't hear your stupid friend's side of the conversation, but I sure can hear your ignorant side.

AND, you already knew that you didn't want the three things that you put back. Now the nice bag boy has to go put the ice cream, soda and cheese back.

Dear man that asked me to help you pick out cheese,

That is the worse pick up line I've ever heard and I've heard some doozies. If you can't pick out cheese, I can't help you. Look at my basket. I have things in my basket that you can't spell, let alone pronounce. And your dumb behind thinks that your lack of cheddar cheese knowledge will help? Ummm, no. Anyone vying for the position of "Companion to Super Mommie" will know what cheese to get and what wine goes with it.

And next time, please make sure your breath isn't funky when you talk to people.

What is with the cheese theme today?

Dear young lady in the light blue leggings and see through top,

I don't think you are a lady of the evening. I mean you don't appear to be one as you sit at the bus stop reading the latest copy of "()h " magazine. The weather is nice but you need a jacket on, especially with that purple see through top. No, we won't even discuss the fact that you don't match. If you aren't a lady of the evening, stop dressing like it. If you are a lady of the evening, then you need to wear high heels. You won't make extra money with tennis shoes on.

Dear really cute guy in the car next to me,

Do you always come to this intersection on Sunday afternoons? I saw you look over and smile. I smiled back. And then, the light turned green and we had to part ways. Parting really was sweet sorrow. You could have been "Companion to Super Mommie" --- well, do you know what wine goes with brie?

Whoooo are you? do do do do.

2010-02-19T22:40:00.005-05:00

I am about 2 months away from my birthday -- my 38th birthday. I only had 2 months to decide what this will be the year of.

You're asking, "The year of what?"

Well, "the year of...." it's the annual affirmation that I make. A few years ago it was, "Just say no." Three years ago it was, "I'm not gonna do it, if it doesn't make me feel good." The affirmation has to be "me" related. It has to be for the good of "me". This year my affirmation is less of an affirmation and more of a quest.

Who will I be?

I got married at a very young age -- I became a wife. Then I had a child at a kinda young age -- I became a mommie. I have of course, been a child, a sister, a niece, an aunt, a friend and on occasion -- a lover. Many of those things, I will always be. Some of those things, I have ceased being. And, in about 5 or so years, I will change the nature of some of those relationships, i.e. The Princess will go away to college and I will be home alone. At that point, who will I be?

As an adult I've pretty much always been a wife and a mother. Soon I will get to discover who SM is as a person separate from wife and mother. Oh, I know, I know. So many people will say you aren't supposed to loose yourself just because you are a wife or mother. Well, the simply fact is, I did. I threw myself into wife-dom and mommie-dom.

Oh, please don't think that I would change a thing! No, I'm not married any more and yes, I LOVE being mommie to the Princess. Of all the things that I will EVER be, my favorite title will always be mommie. But, I am soooo excited to start this next chapter in my life. The time of finding out who I am, what I like and what I want to do. There will be some moments of extreme selfishness, yes, there will. But there will also be some tender moments of pure giving.

I've made some serious plans for this year. I am more than a little excited about them. I'll take you on as much of the journey as I can but some of those things, well, some of them are personal and aren't meant to be shared with others. Some things might be embarrassing but somethings might be too revealing or too raw.

In any case all of them will be one step closer to who I am.

Who are you?

Lions and Tigers and Bears....and Zebras

2010-02-18T17:42:00.004-05:00

It's comforting (NOT) to know that your friends take great joy in laughing at you. I just received not 1, not 2 but 5 phone calls/text messages warning me about the following...

Runaway Zebra Captured On Downtown Connector
http://www.wsbtv.com/news/22604290/detail.html

Everyone that knows me, knows I have a weird fear of zebras. I can look at them from afar or in animated form but a real zebra up close (or even one on tv on the evening news) freaks me the"eff" out. And dear God, don't show the head up close. I will really scream.

Someone told me its cause by vertigo. I just say zebrazoophobia. I've looked it up on the internet and I don't see a definition for it (or a self help group).

So what would have happened had I been driving on the highway and I had seen the zebra? Well, my car would have had a funny smell for weeks and people in Texas would have heard my scream. I would have run over several cars to get the hell out of the way. God sent me home early today for a very good reason! He knows my fears and He comforts me -- and He thought that it would be funnier this way.

Thanks to all of my "friends" that called and sent me text messages to tell me about the zebra and then laugh at me.

Zebra, I'm glad that you are safe but I glad I didn't see you.

And no, there will not be any pictures posted!!

Why is it road rage? I'm not mad at the road!

2010-02-17T19:38:00.004-05:00

I didn't think that I had road rage but I guess if you can't drive more than 4 minutes without cussing someone out, perhaps you do.

All this week I have tried to drive to work and back home without cussing, yelling or grunting at someone driving too slow. I have not made it. (sigh)

You know, if people that drive slow would stay in the right lane and only drive during non-rush hours, I wouldn't have to admit that I have a (tiny) touch of road rage. Seriously, I drove behind a car full of people that drove sooooo slooooow I had 2 birthdays while waiting. And then they stopped at every yellow light they thought they saw. We sat through a 1 minute yellow light at one point!

I'm going to change the name from road rage to people rage. I'm not upset with the road. I am upset with the people.

Oh, I know. Don't get angry over things you can't control. I get it. Just move out of my way and we'll both be happy.

Or you'll force me to take control and ram into you super slow car!

Super Mommie Needs A Break

2010-02-16T19:37:00.003-05:00

No-- I'm not leaving! I'm sharing!

Sometimes supermommie needs a break. Sometimes things get crazy and you just need to have some funny in your life. So, where does SM go for funny?

This is why you're fat.
In case you've ever wondered why we are so fat. Most of this stuff will make you want to hurl but every now and then (mars bars cake, Doughnut Upside Down Cake, Burger King Funnel Cake Fries With Icing Dip) you just wanna find the recipe.

Failbooking
This is such a fall on your face laughing good time! Crackbook will never be the same.

People of Walmart
And you wonder who goes there at 2am. If this doesn't make you laugh it's cause one of the photos is of you.

PostSecret
If you don't run to this page every Sunday then well...maybe you have things to do. But in between those things to do, do this. The posts will make you gasp and check to see if your BFF sent in one of the cards!

CakeWrecks
ROTFLMAO! Aren't you glad you purchased your cake from a reliable bakery (that can spell?)

Funny or Die
Many of them are side splitting.

Stuff White People Like
I know. It doesn't sound "pc" but it's not bad. It appears to be true. I'm only guessing cause well...I'm not white. It's not super funny but it's very interesting.

Best of Bad Baby Names
This makes Super Mommie feel REALLY good about her own name (not that I ever felt bad Ma Mere)!

Happy Presidents Day (sales)!

2010-02-15T19:51:00.004-05:00

I had a great President's Day. I spent it shelling out Washington's. I hit the stores about 10am and finished up about 4pm. Can you say fan-tabulous sales? I added to my 30 days of VA list and almost found a LBD - but, it was white and pink. That doesn't count. I almost acquired a new camera but the store didn't have the one I wanted, soooooo.. I'll wait.

I didn't even cook today because I was so tired from shopping. The Princess had a (kosher beef) hotdog and I had a boca burger with sweet potato chips. No, I didn't take a picture of the meal. I didn't know you'd care. But, because I'm accommodating, I added a picture of my new favorite chips. No salt added - so blood pressure friendly.

I must say I was a bit disappointed though. My fave valentines candy store (Tahr-jet) didn't have good sales. Only 30% off. I felt cheated. I went to Wall-blues and they had 50% off everything. It made up for Tahr-jet's lack.

What? Did I buy you somethin? Um...sure. Want a m-n-m fun pack?

Valentine Brownies and Salmon Dinner

2010-02-14T20:06:00.004-05:00

Happy Valentines Day! I hope you got whatever it was you wanted! I had my little valentine with me and it made my valentines day perfect!

The Princess and I made valentines brownies and I made a salmon dinner. I think my valentine liked it! But, it's easy to please The Princess. She's so great.

I made the brownies from one of the m00.sew00d c00kb0.0ks. It really tastes more like a cupcake than a brownie (and the nugget of nutell@ in the middle helped!). I don't care what they are called - brownies or cupcakes. They were pretty good.

And, I made a wonderful salmon with a teriyaki marinade and glaze. The marinade/glaze was so simple. I let the salmon sit in the marinade for 45 minutes and then cooked down some of the same items to make a glaze. Yummy! I did a side of seared kale and some quinoa. Dinner was great and I had a very happy table!

Tomorrow will be the best part of Valentines Day. The sales! The Princess and I will get tons of candy and heart shaped things for half price. Getting nice things on Valentines day is great but getting half price stuff the next day -- that makes my heart melt!

Silent Saturday

2010-02-13T08:19:00.007-05:00

Friday February 12, 2010

1:30pm

2:07pm

2:57pm

4:00pm

4:31pm

5:14pm

Friday Randomness

2010-02-11T10:19:00.003-05:00

I have been juicing everything but the kitchen sink! I must be super healthy by now, right? I'm only juicing once a day because a friend of mine said to start slow. You feel full but then you try to do too much and pass out or something. Well, I sincerely doubt that I'll be doing too much! Apparently he doesn't know the proud "super slacker" badge that I wear.

Mentioning "slacker", I've been slacking on my posts. I'm supposed to post 75% of the 1001 days. I currently have well...a lot of days that I need to post. So prepare for some randomness mixed in with the fabulousness.

Today's randomness (besides juicing and slacking?) SNOW!!!

WTH! Atlanta is gonna get snow today. 1-2 inches my way (3 inches the tall girl's way). I'm not one for snow. I don't like cold and bad weather. It has totally messed up my plans to go shopping! Well, kinda. I've made some online purchases. I've already purchased several books on @m@zon and a pair of shoes! But, I did want to spend some time with my Auntie and now I can't do that for fear of getting snowed in. No, we aren't going to get what DC, NYC and the like have gotten, but still...

Oh, and the RAOK has been doing well. I'm halfway done for February!! Remember? I had to do 15 for February -- sort of "jump start" my niceness? It hasn't been hard to be nice but it's hard to be randomly nice. Note to self - be nice to strangers.

Happy Friday people. Be nice to strangers and I hope the weather works out in your favor.

Live long and juice!

You Too Can Experience The Benefits Of Juicing!!

2010-02-08T14:58:00.007-05:00

I bought the juicer!!! It only took me a year to take the plunge! You'd think that it would have been easier for me to make the purchase. It's not like it was a high ticket purchase. Heck, I've decided to get married in less time than that! No, it was more of the commitment to juicing. Once you make the purchase, you really have to do it cause any excuse you had is gone!

So, I got it and used it last night. It was great! I did a carrot, ginger, pineapple concoction that was nice (The Princess turned up her nose at it and said it was nasty. I never liked her anyway). Tonight, I'm trying a orange juice, carrot, spinach thing. Yum, yum. I'll take a picture and post.

1 step closer to completing 101 things! Yeah me!!

BOOK REVIEW - Living Oprah: My One-Year Experiment to Walk the Walk of the Queen of Talk

2010-02-05T14:32:00.004-05:00

Robyn Okrant decided to spend a year committing herself to Oprah's suggestions. She wanted to know if by doing so, she would really be living her best life.

I admit, I went to W@lly W0rld the day that the book came out. I was pretty stoked about reading it. I had followed Robyn's blog since October 2009 when I first learned of it.

Was it worth it? Did I learn anything? Well, I learned a valuable lesson, just in the purchase. The S@ms CIub really is cheaper than anywhere else when it comes to books and magazines!

I learned many other things too. I learned that Robyn Okrant is hysterical! I learned that some of 0pr@h.c0m's recipes can be a bit time consuming but usually pretty good. And I learned what she learned, she probably was already living her best life. She was living HER VISION of what her best life should be.

Not to say that she didn't pick up helpful tips (and I did too) but the best tip was probably that there really are people that are already living their best life. They may need a tweak here and there but they are ok already.

Can Robyn write? You bet! I love the way she chose to show us the dollars that she spent and the ongoing lessons that she learned (and the funny quotes from friends and fellow bloggers). I was concerned that she would either lurve, lurve, lurve on 0pr@h or ridicule everything that she said. She did neither. She gave a very fair and mostly unbiased report of everything. I liked that about the book.

If you are wondering if you should pickup a copy of the book, yep. It's a good read. I don't pay full price for hardly anything so my suggestion would be to go to The S@ms CIub or @mazon for the best price. You could try the library but, when I tried reserving the book, I was number 217 in line. They only have 12 copies! If you factor that everyone can keep the book a total of 9 weeks (with double checkout) then I'd be waiting (32 plus 7, carry the 4, divide by 9) a long freakin' time.

Good job Robyn! Now you can try to go back to your former life, but you know, with a little bit more moh-lah!!

Dear Martha That Lives In My Head...

2010-02-02T16:48:00.004-05:00

Dear MTLIMH (Martha That Lives Inside My Head),

I am sooo sorry that I have been neglecting you. I've watched other people's inner Martha hard at work and you have been stuck, "sat sitting" doing nothing. Not a casserole, not a shepherds pie, not a stitched pillow, nuthin.(Well, that's not true. I made brownies Saturday. Of course they were a hit. You want the recipe? Of course. I am more than happy to give it to you. Look at the bottom).

MTLIMH, there were so many opportunities for you to come out and play. Remember when I needed cute bathroom towels? I bought plain towels and pretty embellishments to put on them and where are they now? In a bag in the closet. What's hanging on the bathroom wall? Worn out towel that I should be ashamed of.

Well no more! Beginning this weekend I'm going to let the MTLIMH out. We're gonna cook and decorate and make everything so pretty it could go in a magazine. AND, I'll post it so you can see. It will keep me honest.

Now I won't be so embarrassed when I see what my fellow bloggers are doing. I'll be one of the crowd. And really, isn't that what we all secretly want? To be one of the crowd?

The Worlds Bestest, Most Easiest Brownies
(1) box of brownie mix (fudgelike is best)
(1) large bar of Hershey's Symphony chocolate

1. Mix the brownies according to the mix.
2. Poor half of the mix into the baking pan.
3. Break the bar of chocolate into pieces (there are lines on the chocolate bar. follow them) and place on the brownie mix.
4. Poor the remaining mix into the pan.
5. Bake according to the directions on the box.
6. Let it cool.
7. Eat 1 piece.
8. Go to the store and buy good ice cream (not that crappy kind).
9. Eat another piece topped with ice cream.

Q&A
Does it have to be Hershey's Symphony? Well, yes. Otherwise I wouldn't have said it. Really, it has a wonderful taste and doesn't completely melt into the brownie. You don't have to use it, but I would and well, the MTLIMH would too.

RECORD REVIEW - Corinne Bailey Rae - The Sea

2010-02-01T11:45:00.002-05:00

First, I'm half British (in my head I am) so I love almost all things British. CBR is no exception. When I heard "Put Your Records On" my love affair with her music began.

I found out about this release quite by accident. But, thankfully, I found out in time. I called in late to work last Tuesday and went to the W.@lly W.0rld to pick up my copy.

At first I gave it a B+. The mood somber, the words hard to hear against the backdrop of really great music. But then, I read the words as I listed to the songs and her grade got a 10 point improvement. A total A+.

I listened to this ALL weekend. This "record" is slow, thought provoking British sound with GREAT music. I love it! If you aren't sure if you should grab a copy or download it, I say do it. You'll thank me later.

http://www.corinnebaileyrae.net/

Laughter Really Is The Best Medicine

2010-01-28T10:19:00.006-05:00

I don't know if any of you have a teenager but if you do, you understand the craziness that is adolescence. If you do understand it, please send me a detailed manual because I have NO idea what the hell I'm doing.

Anywho, The Princess is in the full onset of adolescence and because I can't afford therapy (for myself, not the kid) I laugh to hide the pain. I try to find my laughs where I can get them. Sometimes a good Sandra Bullock movie works (If you haven't seen The Proposal, put your depends on cause you are gonna pee your pants!) and other times I put in The Original Kings of Comedy or an Eddie Izzard dvd (he is my favorite Brit comedian). But, other times, I just listen to my kid. Take last night for instance.

Paraphrased because who in the hell remembers what happened 12 hours ago? I went to sleep people!).

The Princess (timidly) : "Mommie. I need to tell you something."
Super Mommie (scared shitlessly): "Yes my darling. What is it?"

TP (Damn, I hate that 'The Princess' initials are TP - I'm gonna change it) : "At school today Bobby (not his real name) accidentally pulled my arm really hard and I said a cussing word."

SM (thanking God that it wasn't something more serious): "Oh, well honey, sometimes when we're in pain, bad words slip out of our mouth. You shouldn't do it often though because you can get in trouble. Did you get in trouble? Did a teacher hear you?"

My Princess: "No, only Bobby heard me."

SM: "Well, you don't want the teachers to think you always cuss like a sailor (Does she even know what the hell a sailor is? No, I don't think so. Mental note - Tell her what the 'eff' a sailor is)."

MP (Crap! Those initials suck too!): "Ok, I won't cuss".

SM: "Yeah, use other words to release your frustration. Like darn or shoot or ouch."

Super Princess: "Ok. Am I in trouble."

SM: "No sweetie. Of course not. Just try not to do it again. Ummm, by the way, what 'cussing word' did you say?"

SP (Those initials are waaaay better): "I said 'shit' ."

SM (That's my girl! Start off light. Use the big words for big situations): "Well, don't say it again."

You try not to laugh while having that conversation! I love the fact that she tells me ~~everything~~ most things. Will that last forever? No? Only the next three days? Oh well, I better enjoy it. Let me go watch the dance scene in The Proposal so I can laugh.

What The Hell Did You Do That For?

2010-01-27T09:50:00.002-05:00

Let's play a game of "What The Hell Did You Do That For?" What is that? Well, it's a milder version of "WTF". For instance....

You saw me running for the elevator but you let the door close. You didn't even move to try to keep it open. I know. I saw you looking at me. It's a glass elevator. "What The Hell Did You Do That For?"

You didn't look back to make sure your flush worked, did you? Not even a brief glance? You just washed your hands and left huh? Well, your flush didn't completely work you nasty person. "What The Hell Did You Do That For?"

Those 6" platform high heels are not work appropriate. Well, they are work appropriate, if your job has a pole or a street corner close by. Wearing them to your job at an upscale downtown office building? "What The Hell Did You Do That For?"

I told you that I bought that cake in the fridge for a special occasion at work and yet, you ate took a slice of it! "What The Hell Did You Do That For?"
(from TP - thanks!)

You canceled the meeting but forgot to tell everyone. People were left "sat sitting" in that cold arse room for 20 minutes because you didn't send an email, or a text or a message in a freekin' bottle! "What The Hell Did You Do That For?"

The meeting is tomorrow morning at 9am. Is there a reason that you just sent me 16 long documents to print? It's 4:30pm! I leave work at 5:00pm! The company won't let me take overtime because they don't want to pay for it. What's your solution brainiac? "What The Hell Did You Do That For?"

(Deep sigh).

I'm just trying to be nice to you, damn it!

2010-01-25T22:02:00.005-05:00

So what constitutes "random act of kindness"? I have to complete 101 of them. So far, 2. Yeah, I know. Not such a good start.

Why so few? Because, I try not to mistake "just plain nice" and "what you really should do" with "random act of kindness". For instance, some crazy kids where crossing a very busy street during the height of morning rush hour traffic, just a few yards away from the actual crosswalk (and school crossing guard). Well, I stopped and let the heathens cross. RAOK? No, just me deciding to stop rather than speed up and see how many of those buggers I could tag.

And at the grocery store I let a lady with 5 items go ahead of me when I had 16. RAOK? No, not really. Her incessant loud talking on the cell phone was getting on my damned nerves so I figured the sooner she left the store, the faster my sanity would return.

Oh, and there was the time that I gave the money to a stranger. RAOK? Well, if you forget that the stranger knew what car I had just gotten out of and I wanted to make sure she didn't mess with my car after I parked (And even then, I went back and re-parked my car elsewhere).

Wow! Does that mean I'm not capable of RAOK? Or, does that mean that opportunities to complete them just don't present themselves? I think that I have been too busy to notice them. My goal for the month of February? Complete 15 of them!

Yikes, that's about 1 every other day! Think I can do it? Think I can go out of my way to be nice to complete strangers?

Can I help you take that bag to your car?

101 in 1001 - Update

2010-01-24T21:14:00.003-05:00

Update time!

I'll try to keep you updated on my 101 things in 1001 days. If you aren't familiar, take a peek (well, read this post first, thing take a peek).

#51 - Letter to my body - I found the original letter to my body and took care to write a deep, heartfelt letter to my body now. Folks, in case you haven't figured it out, I really like my body. It's pretty good and has gotten me a date or two in my time. I have no real complaints.

The biggest thing that I have accomplished was #38 - Take pictures with The Princess. I know, I'm a horrible mommie. The Princess and I have NEVER taken professional pictures together. Don't get me wrong -- we've taken many impromptu pics together and my home is a museum/shrine to her. If I don't have 80 pictures of her, it's because I have 81. But, she and I had never taken a professional picture together. Well, all of that changed Saturday. My dad wanted pictures of his kids so my siblings and I got together and took pictures (oh, it was hilarious and sad all rolled up and tied together with a "laugh my arse off" bow). Before the siblings took pics, I took the opportunity to snap a shot with reason my heart beats. They came out 'purty' good. I think my pops will be proud.

I know, 6 things completed in 77 days isn't great but it isn't bad. I should have 2 more things done at this point. But, I've got 16 things in the fire! Well, more actually. As each day passes, I complete steps toward checking off an item. It's pretty exciting.

If you are thinking about doing this, you should take a week or so and really think about 101 things that you really want to accomplish in a little under 3 years. If you're like me, it will motivate you to do some really fun stuff that you always wanted to do but for whatever reason, never accomplish. It will also give you the opportunity to complete some life long dreams.

Do it! You'll really have fun writing the list and you'll really have fun completing each task.

Really.

Eat Breakfast Like a King!

2010-01-20T19:34:00.007-05:00

I must give a shout out to my breakfast bloggers! They have really inspired me.

I know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And, I have plenty of time to make a healthy breakfast. I just run out of ideas! I fall back on omelets and really, after a while, omelets get old.

My fave thing for breakfast is oatmeal (well my favorite thing for breakfast is a long, luxurious snuggle but food wise it's oatmeal). It's healthy, quick, portable but alas, dull as a grey lump of, well, oatmeal.

Well never fear! The wonderful bloggers below came into my blogview. I was hooked. Who knew that you could make some many fan-tab-u-lous (portable) things for breakfast! Today I had oatmeal with sweet potato, brown sugar, peanut butter and bananas. It was pretty good! I was very surprised. And of course, I was still stuffed at lunchtime so I just nibbled on lunch. That was good, because I was so excited about my breakfast, I forgot my lunch at home. No worries though. If I were ever stranded at work, my desk drawer has enough food in it to feed me for 2 weeks.

Damn it! If I'm stuck in the building for 5 minutes longer than 6pm, I'm breaking a window!

Thank you lover-ly breakfast blogs!!

Simply Breakfast
Breakfast In Texas
All In The Oats

Fiddle Dee Dee

2010-01-20T10:27:00.007-05:00

In the words of Professor Henry Higgins (My Fair Lady (1964)), "By George, I really did it, I did it, I did it!"

I bought a new cell phone. Remember I regaled you with tales of the old phone? Well, I ordered a new phone while I was out Monday and guess what came in the mail Tuesday? Yep -- a brand new phone, with push buttons that really work!(@.t.t gets no complaints from me). I can read complete text messages now! I can call people without knowing their numbers in advance! I can turn the ringer off at work so my funky ring tone doesn't get me in trouble with the @nchorm@n!!

Here's the old phone.

And here's the new phone.

Yep, it has all the bells and whistles that Super Mommie needs. SM is happier than a Sc@r.lett O**H@ra at the 12 Oaks bbq (you know, before that 'damned war'.)!

On a side note, The Princess and I had an in depth conversation about cell phones and what it would take for her to get one. Oh, I know that the day is soon approaching but she felt that if she could get a job to help pay for the phone, she could get it earlier. She decided that she would get a job at the @.t.t store so that she could get a free phone and minutes. I explained that 13 year olds couldn't work at the @.t.t store. However, the store manager assured me he'd find a place for her and let her work under that table.

As kind as that sounds, I don't want my kid's first work experience to be 'How to Work Under The Table 101.' It could be setting the child up for a life of avoiding the tax man.

For now, I'm content with my phone and will leave worrying about a phone for The Princess until later. "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow". (Scarlett O'Hara, Gone With The Wind (1939))

#51 Living - Find original letter to my body and revise it.

2010-01-18T16:56:00.008-05:00

ORIGINAL LETTER (2008)

A Letter To My Body

Dear Body,

I love you. You are such a special body. No one else has one quite like you. You have an extra roll or two and other people might find that bad. But I’m ok with it. I’m not always happy about it but I’m very ok with it.

Just so you know, I have no major problems with you at all. I have relatively no leg hair, my underarm hair is manageable and my facial hair is kept at a minimum. I kinda wish you would grow long hair (on the top of my head) but hey, I still have some hair so ok, whatever works for you.

I don’t know if you like being a size 12 or 14 verses an 8 or 10 but that’s where we seem to stay. We don’t seem to go anywhere else. Size 12/14 is pretty comfortable for me; is it ok with you? Well, it must be, because you don’t seem to budge. No matter what I eat or don’t eat, no matter if I exercise or not. It’s ok though.

By exercise, I mean yoga. I like yoga but you seem to like the meditative type. I like to walk but only short distances and not strenuously. That’s ok with me, if it’s ok with you.

You are still able to attract men. (Let’s work on attracting attractive men). That’s good. Keep up the good work. You still look relatively young. I’ll keep working on that with external beauty products along with the vegetarian lifestyle and vitamins.

Basically body, you are doing a damn good job. You are healthy, happy and wise. I’m proud of you. I couldn’t have asked for a better body and honestly, I wouldn’t ask for a better one.

NEW LETTER (2010)

Dear Body,

I still love you and you are still the best body a woman could have. I have no complaints at all and neither do the 1 or 2 people that have seen you without clothes on. “The girls” look good, my arse doesn’t scare off fish, I still can reel in a decent looking chap, I’m good. My eyesight is ok, my hearing is good...trust me – this is not a letter of complaint. No sir. If anything, this is a letter of gratitude.

Last year we had the whole, high blood pressure scare and we had to loose some of that fat (and thusly a few dress sizes – yea me!) and that caused “the girls” to droop a bit (boo hiss). But, we’re good, we’re good. Our blood pressure is under control and the doctor isn’t screaming we’re gonna die, so I’m ok.

We still have rolls. They are smaller, but they are still there. That’s totally my fault though. If I’d control portions better (and exercise properly, with more consistency) perhaps the rolls would run away. No worries. The rolls are happy, I’m happy.

And, we are healthy. Yes, yes, yes, we are fit as a fiddle. We are eating better, healthier foods than ever before. We’ll continue to work on eating less of those healthy foods (side note – you cannot eat as many veggies as you want. It’s still calories, healthy calories, but still calories).

The facial and leg hair is good, the underarm hair is ok and the hair on the head, well, I’ll keep cutting it cause damn it, it doesn’t want to grow properly. Don't cry hair, I still love you too. I don't like you sometimes, but I love you all the time!

Body, you’ve been very, very good to me over the last 37 ½ years. If you continue to be good to me, I’ll continue to slip you cheese laden foods, chocolate and sex every now and then. Only, every now and then though. You can’t overdo it on any of those things.

….oh please! Like someone can over do it on those things!

Love ya body!

Use Liberal Amounts of Hand Sanitizer

2010-01-18T14:40:00.004-05:00

I did it. I'm almost ashamed but almost happy at the same time. Today, SuperMommie became a dumpster diver.

Ok, I'm not technically a dumpster diver. I didn't get into the dumpster. Hell, I didn't even get close to the dumpster. I only went to the side of it. Today, while I was taking out the trash, I noticed some unused, still bound, newspapers off to the side of the dumpster. I stopped pitching trash mid throw (cause you have to throw the trash into the dumpster. It counts as extra exercise). I looked around to see who was watching. No one!

This week was pretty good in the coupon section so my mind was racing, thinking about all those coupons, dollars if you will, just sitting there on the ground. I mean $1.50 off lotion, .50cents off deodorant, .50cents off dish liquid--you can't let that go to waste!

Yes, SuperMommie, put 6 newspapers in her car. And yes, she came home and clipped an extra set of coupons to the ones she had already clipped.

I am a dumpster diver (kinda) and I am proud (well, not proud, kinda grossed out but in a, yea, I saved money kind of way).

Pass the pu.re.l please.

2010-01-13T09:36:00.006-05:00

This blog kills 2 birds with one stone. It answers the question of many (1) reader on why I haven't written about Mr. Vampiro in a while and it tells a funny story.

=======================================

I constantly have to explain to The Princess that you don't "put all of your business in the street". Just when I think she gets it, I realize she doesn't. It's probably because she's such an open and honest child (most of the time).

A few weeks ago my sister called my cell phone and we had something similar to this conversation...

sis: "So did you get your stuff?"

me: "What do you mean?"

sis: "Your stuff. Did you get all of your stuff from Mr. Vampiro's place?"

me: "Yeah. How did you know that's what I went to do?"

sis: "Cause when I called the house your kid said, 'My mommie went to go get her stuff back from Mr. Vampiro's house. She said she had some DVD's over there'."

me: "Really? She said that?"

sis: "Yep. So did you get the DVDs?"

me: "Yeah."

sis: "What about your toothpaste, toothbrush and deodorant? I notice you didn't mention that stuff to her."

me: "Yes, I got it and no, I didn't mention it to her cause she didn't need to know about that stuff."

sis: "Is it in a discreet bag? Cause I'd like to be at the house when she sees you bring it inside."

me: "I told her I was also gonna stop by the grocery store and I'm gonna bring the stuff in a grocery store bag, smart a$$".

sis: "So one lie to cover for the fact that her mom is a horny floozy?"

me: "I'm not a horny floozy! I just chose not to tell that part of the story to my kid. You want me to tell her about you and Mr. Deacon?"

sis: "Shut up and take your 'K.r.0-ger slash Pub-.blix' bag in the house."

And that, my dear readers, is what happened to Mr. Vampiro.

Baby, it's cooold outside!

2010-01-10T19:21:00.003-05:00

We had a snow day last Friday!

Well, kinda. Don't get too excited. What we really had was powdered sugar covered roads with ice underneath. So, The Princess and I stayed home and enjoyed the view... from inside. No, we didn't build a (very tiny) snowman and no, we didn't roll snowballs and hit anyone.

We aren't cold weather people. In fact, I was ready to pack my bags and move to some place nice and warm. I hear New Mexico and Arizona had temps in the 70's. Perhaps SM can find an anchorman to work for in one of those states!

The weather people say we have a few more days of cold and then it should start warming back up. Good. I don't think I can take 20 degrees anymore. Bring on 50 degrees please! SM can't feel her fingers and toes!

Random Venting - School Projects

2010-01-04T14:39:00.005-05:00

I hate science and social studies projects. Besides the fact that I am a 37 year old (sexxy) woman and have been out of high school for 19 years, I shouldn't have to assist with one. But, these projects are complex now-a-days. The kids must collect data samples and make hypothesis and create graphs and charts and a project plan and backboard sketch and...and I'm tired, damn it!

The Princess has been working on this project on bones for 2 months now. It's due this Friday and she is in the final stretch of it. She's doing great. She has needed very little assistance and she's done a fine job of getting the things together. I'm just sick of seeing silly putty and crayons all over my kitchen table. I'm tired of hearing rubber gloves snapping and please explain why the backboard has to have 3 versions and all 3 versions have to sprawl the length of my living room floor for 2 weeks.

I know, I know, it builds character. She'll need it in the future. I know that I have needed all of the projects that I did in high school (NOT).

Deep sigh. If I see one more container of silly putty....just keep an eye on the news for angry woman throwing silly putty and crayons at random people.

"Happy Birthday!!"

2010-01-01T13:09:00.003-05:00

(in the words of Frosty the Snowman).

2010 is here -- a breath of fresh air, the dawn of a new day, the light that breaks through the horizon at 6am (and I have to roll over to the side of the bed facing the wall). Let's welcome 2010 as we would a new lover, not to be tainted with the stench of the old one, but to be treated with glee and joy, not knowing what we will get or even if we'll like it, but knowing it's here and so far, it's better than any other lover we've even had.

I digress, it's only 2pm. How bad could the new year be only 14 hours in?

I felt the need for a full breakfast this morning. Skillet potatoes, blueberry muffins (made with whole wheat flour), fluffy cheese omelet and orange pineapple juice (nope, not a drop of vodka in it). I'm stuffed! "They" (No, I don't know who "they" are) say that what you do on the first day of the new year is what you will be doing for the rest of the year. Even though I take this with a grain of salt, it wouldn't be so bad to have a year of hardy breakfasts to start the day. If only I could get this new lover (2010) to make them for me.

The Princess and I are planning a very leisurely day. We'll get dressed, go to Ma Mere's and eat black eyed peas, collard greens, hot water cornbread and fresh corn. And oh the sweets. She's planning a german chocolate cake and pecan pie (there goes eating healthy, day one!). Then we'll roll ourselves back home and finish watching the Twilight Zone marathon.

I hope everyone has as wonderful a New Years Day as The Princess and I will. Remember, it's a new year -- don't take old grudges, anger or issues into the new year. Turn the page of your journal and start fresh!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8Y_Oh1Xb10

Happy 2010!

2009-12-31T15:34:00.006-05:00

Here we are on the eve of a new year. I can already tell it's going to be a great one! No matter what you felt about 2009, it's behind us, only a memory. What we do now is move forward. I don't do resolutions per se, but I thought I'd impart some of my wisdom on you. Feel free to take one and make it your motto for 2010. My motto? I'm going with #5 & #10.

1. Never eat yellow snow.
2. Being a member of the "clean plate club" also make you a member of the "you've gained an extra 10 pounds club". It's ok to leave food on the plate if it will make you a healthier person.
3. Always have a designated driver and the number of a taxi service.
4. Remember...it's possible that the world will see your text messages - spell properly.
5. Shave, just in case. Hell, you never know!
6. Exercise more and if you shave you might get that opportunity (wink, wink).
7. Spend more time with your loved ones. Children grow up and friends move away. Love them while you can.
8. Use tote bags and recycle. Really. You need to.
9. Learn something new -- how to sew, cook a new dish, drink more, curse better -- just learn something new!
10. Give more than you receive -- hugs, kisses, love, time,

Happy 2010!

When My Phone Goes Ring-a-ling-a-ling...

2009-12-29T18:32:00.005-05:00

I have to buy a new cell phone. My old one finally broke up with me.

This cell phone and I have been in a relationship for 2 years this December. I wasn't "in love" with the cell phone, I was comfortable. We did things together (like texting and making phone calls) and went places together (like my house and work) but there were things about our relationship that I didn't like. The reception sucks! I have to sit it "just so" on my desk or I will miss phone calls. And, the color was white. I have nothing against white phones, I just can't keep white anything clean. You will NEVER see me with a white purse, white shoes or white pants.

So my relationship with my cell phone was going great until a few months ago with it stopped working. I mean it stopping receiving or making phone calls and texts. I called the store and they said with my particular phone, as it gets older, has to be turned off and left off for 5 minutes. Turns out, I had to do this once a month. I don't mind doing favors for the one I like so I endured.

Then, a few months ago, the middle button (enter key) broke in half. How positively rude! But I can work around things like this. Relationships are about give and take. I used jewelry glue to glue the middle button (enter key) back together. It worked -- for two weeks. So, I glued it again. See, I have the need to make my (cell phone) relationships work as long as I possibly can (2 years, then I can get a free phone).

Well, yesterday the middle button (enter key) broke off completely. So in my innate wisdom I decided if jewelry glue works well, super glue will work better! Right?! Sure...IF YOU WANT THE BUTTON (ENTER KEY) TO STOP WORKING!

Yep! It stopping working. You wanna know what you can do when the middle button (enter key) stops working? Not a damned thing! Texting is difficult because your "slide" capability is gone and making calls is crap because you have to type in the phone number. I don't know your number!! It's in my phone!

So my (4) fans, SM has to go a buy a new phone. "Sure, that's easy," you say. Then that proves you never even knew me! I don't just go out a buy a phone; I have to do research. I have to watch some video's on the latest phone and use the compare feature on the website. Then I have to go inside the store and hold the phones in my hand. Then I have to go back home and see consumer reviews. Then I have to see which ones are free under my contract and then buy the ding dang thing (and remember, when I say "buy", I mean get free).

So tomorrow I have to go to the cell phone store and try out 2 new phones. No, no my dears, I will not tell you which ones until after I buy it. That's just how I am with my new ~~boyfriend~~ (cell phone). I want to pick him out, put him to my ear, try him for the afternoon and then tell you about him (that sounds bad-but in a good sort of way). Then I will unveil the new fellow that I have picked to be in my life, for the rest of my life (cell phone contract).

A New Day

2009-12-28T15:51:00.004-05:00

This time of the year and my birthday always cause me to be reflective. A lot of things have happened in my life recently and cause my normal reflections to go on over drive. Today's reflection has to deal with each day being a new day. A new day to create new things, meet new people and make new memories. I'm glad that each day comes with a clean slate; a new notebook to add a new chapter to an already beautiful life.

I popped a random CD in the player last week and when I got in the car today, India Arie - A Beautiful Day was playing. Thanks JC -- that song was right on time.

"Early in the morning, It's the dawn of a new day, new hopes, new dreams, new ways."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ww1dIgXhHKY